Hero
by Tea'nThoughts
Summary: A war starts between the Organization and the Twilight Town Regiment. Literally in the middle of it are Sora and Roxas. Axel struggles to protect who he loves while many struggle to survive. Mistakes are made on both sides. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Info for you lovely people: **I just have a couple things to say.

**One:** this is not the continuation of my oneshot, _Play the Game_. This is something I started shortly after I finished that story. I'm sorry to not be as quick as I had hoped with this finishing this one so I could get back to the sequel I had promised. Which leads me to point two...

**Two:** the reason this took so long to write was because there is another side to this story to be told. I know this doesn't make sense now, but I hope that it will once all the chapters of this story are posted. And hopefully I haven't broken too many people's trust with not getting first things done first. Trust me, it's bugging me too and I plan to write the sequel I promised while posting these stories.

**Three:** this story is heavily influenced by the song _Hero of War_ by Rise Against. If you know the song you can probably guess what will happen. I love the song and I loved writing this story.

* * *

><p><strong>Hero:<strong>

**An Innocent Beginning**

It was a pretty countryside, made up of ploughed dirt or fields of wheat surrounded by slightly imposing forests. Every day, for most of fall and to the beginning of summer, Axel walked the long dirt road from his house into the gradually swelling city to attend school. His family, though they lived on the very edge of the town, were not part of the farming community. Their new neighbours were farmers but 'neighbour' was only really used to describe the fact that Axel's house and Roxas' house were the buildings in line next to each other, though distanced by many acres and a forest. In only a few short months the distance between their homes didn't seem to matter one bit.

When Roxas' family moved to the large, white farmhouse in the middle of a grassy clearing, Axel and his parents were the first to welcome them to the new countryside. Axel remembered feeling his body tense with barely suppressed excitement as he and his mother stepped onto the covered porch and rapped on the screen door. His mother had a loaf in her hands and a smile on her lips while Axel had only his desire to make friends with the rumoured children the house now held. Living on the outskirts of a still developing town had provided him with few friends and now, with a fifteen minute walk, he would have a least one chance at making a new friend.

Outside the sun shone bright in the summer heat, but through the screen Axel could see the darkness of the farmhouse. He heard a man yell, probably a parent, and a couple small shadows scampered down the hallway and pressed their noses against the screen. Axel's eyes flared with excitement and if his mother hadn't put a hand on his shoulder, he would have opened the door and walked right in to play with the two boys.

"Don't know who it is, Dad!" a little boy with dark hair yelled over his shoulder, though it didn't really seem to matter whether they knew Axel and his mother or not since both boys pushed opened the door.

Axel needed little persuasion to be ushered inside the house. In fact, his mother hissed at him as he followed the little blonde and brown haired boys inside. The hiss from his mother and the figure of a tall man, the two boys' father, walking past the three children as they made their way into the house was the only thing he could remember of the adults that day.

The two boys didn't seem that shy. They led Axel into the living room and immediately the simple questions began.

"What's your name? I'm Roxas and he's - "

"I can say it myself! I'm Sora!"

"I'm Axel."

"Where're you from?" Roxas asked, big, blue, child's eyes staring directly at Axel. "Another farm?"

"No, I'm the next house that way," Axel said as he pointed to the western wall of the house, causing both Sora and Roxas to gaze at the blank, windowless wall. Axel was a couple years older than the brothers and they seemed to recognize this age superiority through a series of questions.

"It's not a farm?"

"No, it's just a house. My parents work in town."

"Do you go to town?"

"Yeah, for school and sometimes with Mom to shop."

"You go to school?"

"Yeah. Don't you?"

Roxas shook his head while Sora nodded. Roxas, feeling alienated from this lack of knowledge about school, chimed in with a serious nod, "I'm gonna go to school in a year. Sora's just a tiny bit older so-"

"I'm a _whole_ year older, Roxas! If you went to school you'd know that a year is a long, _long_ time," Sora said proudly and Roxas scowled.

Axel was enjoying this bickering. He had no siblings and so missed out on the fighting. The brothers didn't get far in their argument when their father yelled from the kitchen.

"Sora, Roxas! Knock it off. And Sora, your friend from school's here," and the father's voice was directed at the screen door as he said, "Riku, come on in. Sora's inside."

"See! When you go to school you get smart and get friends," Sora said to his brother as he darted from the room and down the hall calling loudly to emphasize the point, "Riku!"

Roxas fumed silently, his fists pulling at his shorts as his small features pulled into a snarl. Axel was really amused now.

"Are we gonna play with them?" Axel asked Roxas with a devilish grin that only a child could pull off.

"No," Roxas said sternly, glaring at Axel before thinking better of himself. Sora had a friend that Roxas wasn't allowed to play with so now Roxas could make friends with Axel and tell Sora Axel was _his _friend. Roxas shook his head to get his messy hair out of his eyes as he asked Axel, "Why don't we play in the barn?"

"The barn?" Axel asked, tearing his eyes off the hallway Sora and Riku had retreated down. Now that the brothers had stopped their quarrelling and Sora had left, Axel saw the brothers as more than a single sort of entity. His idea of them had been something like peanut butter and jelly, they were just always paired together until the day mom ran out of jelly and had to serve peanut butter on toast instead. Axel felt the tug to follow the older brother down the hall until Roxas had mentioned the barn, a place he'd never been.

"Yeah," said Roxas, happy to have Axel's attention. "We have animals in there but there's the haystacks too."

His curiosity peaked and excitement at the thought of adventure on his mind, Axel enthusiastically said, "Okay, let's go."

The boys played in the barn, making obscene mooing noises as the cows lowed indignantly at the boys playing around them. Axel seemed to get bored fairly quickly of the cows after he realized that all they did all day was stand, eat and moo. Axel laughed heartily when one of the cows lifted its tailed and pooped in the gutter behind, but that too got old.

Roxas, wanting to impress Axel, climbed up to the loft and called for Axel to come up because he had another game. Axel looked up at the small boy, eyes so bright with the promise of fun. He began to climb to the top of the loft. Roxas led him over to a hole in the floor of the loft and pointed at the hay twenty feet below them.

"Sora and I play this all the time, but you gotta promise not to tell the grownups," Roxas said as they gazed down at the hay pile, "Dad says not to but we do it anyways."

Without any more explanation, Roxas jumped into the hole and flopped into the hay below. Axel watched with wide eyes as the small boy's body sunk into the hay with a muffled sigh and crackle. Roxas rolled off the pile, hay clinging to his shorts and sticking in his hair. He looked up through the gap at Axel with a bold look on his face as though to say 'bet school doesn't teach you this'.

Axel met Roxas' daring gaze through the floor before his eyes locked on to the hay pile, his adrenaline already buzzing in his mind.

Roxas seemed to take Axel's hesitation as fear rather than excitement for he called up, "You don't have to be chicken. The hay only itches a bit. I do it all the time."

Axel laughed down at Roxas and with a loud chicken noise he flung himself onto the pile below. He felt the hay scrape his skin with more than just an itch, but the rush was worth the small cuts.

Axel rolled out of the pile and got to his feet, the hay streaking his long red hair with yellow.

"I'm not a chicken," Axel said with a wide grin and Roxas laughed.

Axel playfully pushed Roxas back into the hay, causing Roxas to yelp, as he booked it for the ladder to leap again. Unlike the cows, that game never got boring; leaping off the loft and making the strangest of noises as they jumped. They were there for hours, the barn steadily growing darker and half the cows dozing in the heat of the late afternoon.

Axel had just leapt and rolled to his knees, panting. The heat and climbing up the ladder was tiring him, but still he continued to jump and joke with Roxas. Up above, Roxas was just jumping off the edge, making an elephant kind of noise that got Axel laughing. The noise was hilarious. The scream Roxas let out when he hit the hay was terrifying. Axel flinched and sat frozen on his knees for a moment before calling Roxas' name and scrambling to his feet. The blonde boy hadn't emerged from the hay yet as Axel neared the pile.

There were no sobs of pain or any more screams, save for the first, as well as no movement among the hay.

"Roxas! Roxas! Roxas!" Axel called his new friend's name desperately as he began rummaging through the hay. He paused when there was movement from the center of the pile and a small hand emerged.

Axel gripped the hand that grabbed at the air to try to find a way to pull the body out. He pulled Roxas' hand and the boy let out a less frightened yelp as he tumbled onto the barn floor and gripped his left hand with his right. Blood trickled from the left hand and clashed against the gold of the hay that stuck to the wound. Roxas sat at Axel's feet, his hands trembling as the blood continued to drip onto the floor. Axel knelt next to Roxas and tried to peek at the cut but Roxas pulled his hand away.

"No! You'll make it sting more," Roxas said angrily. He was more aggravated that it had to be Axel, a new friend, a cool, smarter and older new friend that witnessed his pain. He had enough self-control to not wail, though his eyes watered betrayal.

"I won't. I'll just look," Axel said earnestly, albeit with a child's natural curiosity.

Roxas allowed Axel to touch his wrist and flip the hand to look at the palm. A gash ran from between Roxas' middle finger and the finger to the right and all the way to his wrist. It was deepest at the center of Roxas' palm, where the most of the blood came from.

"What did it, Roxas?" Axel asked, not bugged by the sight of blood as he continued to ogle Roxas' gash. Even at Axel's age, he knew a cut that long and deep should have grownup attention, but with the worried look on Roxas' face, suggesting it didn't seem fair to the hurt boy.

"Don't know. Something in the hay," Roxas said and pointed to the hay pile.

Axel got up and began rummaging through the hay again, Roxas watching with confused and worried eyes. He didn't want to tell his father, but if Axel and his few years older wisdom said he needed the grownups, then he needed the grownups.

Axel backed up out of the hay, new straws clinging to his arms and legs as his hands gingerly clutched something. He walked back over to Roxas and dropped a piece of metal, the same length and sharpness of a kitchen knife, by Roxas' feet. Roxas fingered it gently, noticing the blood along the edge while Axel knelt beside him.

"That did it," Axel said, pointing at the scrap metal. Roxas nodded his agreement and vehemently kicked the metal with his foot, sending it spinning across the concrete floor with a jagged screech.

Roxas sat glumly on the floor, fearing any second Axel would say 'we should tell somebody' but instead Axel got to his feet and walked over to the piece of metal. He picked it up and looked down at the drying blood along its length. He noticed Roxas watching him, the blonde boy's eyes uncertain and wary. Axel again looked down at the metal then back at Roxas and a smile spread across his lips. With a wild howl he flung the metal out the open window and shared another laugh with Roxas.

* * *

><p>"It was a very <em>stupid<em> thing to do."

"I'm still alive so I say it was awesome."

"Roxas, you could have gotten tetanus or gangrene or, shit, who knows."

Roxas rolled onto his side to grin at Axel as they sat in the grass next to a small brook cutting through the forest. It was summer and still hot beneath the dappled shade of the trees, but ten years later from the incident in the barn.

Axel looked down at Roxas as he leaned his back against a tree and rested his arm on his knee. Roxas' grin was infectious and twisted his own lips into smirk. The blonde, young man wormed his way up to Axel's side, staining the nonexistent knees of his worn out jeans and his elbows with grass as he crawled. Axel grunted appreciably as the top tufts of Roxas' hair brushed against his hand that lay in the grass.

"Okay, fine. It was stupid and I could have died but we still got a good laugh out of it. And I got a badass scar," Roxas joked, rudely shoving his left palm into Axel's face.

Axel scoffed, his hot breath blowing on the faint scar as he chuckled. In a swift movement that that drew an indignant "Hey!" from Roxas, Axel caught hold of the other boy's wrist and crushed his lips against his palm. Roxas' fingers curled with the touch of the other boy's lips and lightly scraped Axel's nose.

"I'm your fucking hero, Roxas," Axel muttered against the skin and his eyes shone through Roxas' fingers with a burning light.

"And my best friend," Roxas added and tried to pull his hand away from Axel's lips.

"That all?" Axel asked and grabbed Roxas' other hand as they wrestled on the grass to the tune of the river's bubbling laughter. "That all, Roxy? That all I am to you?"

"Get off! Don't call me that!" Roxas said and pushed Axel's hands back, struggling to gain any ground in this fight.

"Silly Roxy," Axel teased as he pinned Roxas' arms to the river bank and swung his leg over Roxas' midsection to sit on him. "C'mon. _Best_ friend is pretty good. Hero is amazing. What else am I to you? Something that's Goddamn great. C'mon, Roxy. What else and I'll make it all stop."

Usually Roxas prolonged the fight, working Axel up more and getting even more stubborn in his answering, but due to the heat and the sweat sticking his cotton shirt to his chest he caved.

"You're my man, Axel," Roxas laughed happily, though his arms were pinned and body caged.

"Is that so? What's your man worth to you?" Axel asked and gripped Roxas' wrists in one hand while the other moved like a five legged spider across the blonde boy's chest.

"When I get up I'm gonna kick your ass, Axel," Roxas said between gasps as he writhed. Axel ignored the threat and continued to rove his friend's body, making him squirm more and tear up with laughter until he said breathlessly, "Okay. Okay! Stop – I – Stop! Everything. You're worth e-everythi - "

A loud crack like a whip sounded through the trees and silenced the forest and the boys. At the noise, Axel and Roxas had both flinched and grown quite still and quite silent. Without a word or a look, the boys edged their way into a couple bushes and ferns. They crouched close to each other, hands held tight as they watched for any shadows moving through the trees. There were a couple more cracks but they were definitely far away. They would be safe if they headed towards Roxas' house.

"Those aren't hunters trespassing on your land, are they?" Axel asked in a low voice, his mouth a hair away from Roxas' ear. There were a couple more bursts of cracks.

"Don't think so. Usually the game doesn't fire back," Roxas whispered.

They were silent for a couple minutes, listening to hear any more gunfire but there was none.

"My teacher says a war's going to start," Roxas said sadly, "Between the two developing towns. They both need resources but it doesn't seem like they want to share. Funny, the major cities in this area don't mind providing guns to both sides."

"What's really _funny_ is that they're picking fights on your land. Why?" Axel asked and squeezed Roxas' hand tighter. All they needed was for a stray bullet, fired from some stranger's gun to go amiss, maybe rip through Roxas' wall as he slept at night and...Axel squeezed Roxas' hand even tighter.

"Because our farm is right on the border or runs along the border. Something like that."

"My teacher hasn't said anything about a war," Axel said lightly and stood, pulling Roxas along with him. They began walking towards the farm, the birds and bugs tentatively humming back to life.

Roxas shrugged, "Different teachers, I guess. Besides, maybe the town where my and Sora's school is wants to make the first strike so they know more. Hey, Axel..."

"Yeah, Roxas?"

"Do _you_ think a war's gonna start?"

Axel looked down into the eyes of the boy whose hand he was holding as they walked through the forest.

"Geez, I'm no military whiz. I don't know. I hope not."

Roxas nodded, eyes overcastting with worry.

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><p>Axel was bored out of his skull. Summer had ended and he was once again sitting in his school, not listening to the teacher prattle on and on about...what class was he in now? Axel looked up at the chalk board the teacher was writing on. Words like 'people' and 'war' stood out. So it's history he thought and laid his head back down.<p>

It was his final year of classes, he'd probably graduate, but he didn't really care where he went so long as he could have Roxas around. I can't be around him now, he thought glumly. Since Roxas' farm was no closer to either town, the brothers could have gone to whichever town for schooling. Sora had on a whim chosen the town to the East to go to school and because of that, Roxas too was enrolled there. Now that school had started, Axel could only see Roxas for long lengths of time on weekends and spend his days in school bored and dying to get out of there.

There were murmurs and creaking of chairs as students sat up straighter. The atmosphere had changed, the teacher was no longer talking. Axel looked up to see a man in a black military uniform shake hands with the teacher and then turn to face the class. The man had long silver hair, tanned skin and glowing amber eyes. Somehow, with just his presence he was able to acquire the entire class' attention.

When he spoke, his voice was deep and entrancing, as though he had all the answers and only needed the room's attention in order to give them.

"It's almost the end of your history class and for some of you, the end of your schooling days," he said and took a step forward, eyes surveying the teenagers.

"Axel!" Larxene hissed and jabbed Axel in the shoulder roughly. Axel bit back a snarl and turned to the girl. Even though he looked to her, she jabbed him again anyways and asked, "Who is this guy? I feel asleep..."

"I don't know," Axel said and began to turn away but she jabbed him again.

"Fuck off, Larxene," Axel hissed under his breath and she stopped her hand from prodding his shoulder while shooting him a dirty look.

Axel turned his attention back to the man and realized with a cold shock that pierced his heart that the man had been looking at him and Larxene as he spoke.

"How many of you know where you would like to be after your education is done?" he asked.

About half the class raised their hands. Axel and Larxene were not a part of those who did.

"I see," the man said with a cool smile. His eyes took on a hard glint as he asked, "How many of you would like to see the world?"

Pretty much everyone raised their hand, though Axel only raised his half-heartedly. The guy wasn't as interesting as he had originally thought.

"Yes, to see the world and all its wonders would be amazing, invigorating, exciting, an _adventure_," the man said as he began to slowly pace the front of the room. Axel watched the guy move, slightly interested about this adventure business but not sold on the idea. There had to be some sort of catch.

"You can see the world on your own, take a trip to some far off place and enjoy life but," and suddenly his words sounded harsh. His gold eyes flashed and flickered from face to face, leaving each student a little colder on the inside with his stare. "_But_ what about your home? The people you will leave behind? Your loved ones? In uncertain times would you trust just anyone to guard the people you care about most?"

Axel had been looking out the window but the man's tone had pricked a sore spot in Axel's heart and drew his attention once again. He had the strangest feeling that the man had been watching him, but the stranger simply stood at the front of the class, eyes still sweeping the students.

"I know you've heard the guns sounding in the night and I'm sure you always wonder just how close they are and on whose side the bullets belong to. There is a way for you to know. With that knowledge you can have security and be able to protect those who need your protection. With me you can find strength," the man said and this time he did make eye contact with Axel.

Axel thought back to months ago, to how he had crouched in the bushes and squeezed Roxas' hand. That was all he could have done that time and it did very little for either of them. If he joined this man, would he be able to protect the people he wanted to? Something in the guy's eyes made him believe that he possessed a great amount of strength. If Axel could learn to be that strong then maybe he could do more than hide in the bushes and hope that the bad guys were off playing in another part of the forest.

"Joining my organization would be wise for you, your home, and your family and it is all very simple. Those who are of age may wish to speak with me for further information after your history class is through."

With a subtle nod of his head, the man in black strode out the door. The teacher resumed his place at the head of the room and the students' inattentive buzz hummed back to life.

"What do you think, Axel? It sounds good, doesn't it?" Larxene asked enthusiastically but smartly decided not to touch Axel in any way.

Axel was about to tell Larxene to do whatever the hell she wanted to when Zexion spoke from his quiet corner of the room.

"Of course it sounds like a good idea. He told us very little about what he actually wants us to do and told us a great deal about the rewards," Zexion said with a keen look at Axel. "He's playing on our emotions, getting inside our heads through our hearts. It's a very intelligent thing to do."

"Whatever, bookworm," Larxene said, rolling her eyes and waving Zexion off as though she could actually sweep his words away.

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><p>A handful of students remained after class, Axel, Larxene and, to Larxene's vocalized surprise, Zexion remained as well.<p>

"What was all that crap about 'he's screwing with our hearts'? Why are you here?" she asked Zexion who remained in his desk.

"You could call it curiosity," Zexion quipped and refused to answer any more of Larxene's questions.

After a few minutes, where Larxene huffed, Zexion read, and Axel rolled a pencil up and down his desk, the man re-entered the classroom. He surveyed the students briefly as he again stood at the front of the class. Immediately hands shot up into the air and the man just smiled.

He pointed to Larxene who asked what everyone probably wanted to know.

"Who _are_ you?"

"My name is Xemnas," he said in that deep voice.

"Well, _that_ doesn't help much," Larxene huffed and crossed her arms as she leaned back against her chair. Axel kind of half hoped this Xemnas guy would rip Larxene a new hole and maybe shove some respect inside her, but he seemed to enjoy her attitude. Axel leaned back in his chair and smirked at the haughty girl as he wondered how long it would take for the lustre of Larxene's cattiness to dull for this stranger.

In a more eloquent manner, Zexion asked his question when nodded to.

"You're leading the army of Hallow Bastion in the strife with the other emerging town to the East, sir?"

"That's correct," Xemnas said, his grin showing off his canines.

"So you wish to enlist us, sir?"

"Correct again but allow me to clear up any notions that may be misconceived," he elaborated and moved sit on the table before the class. There he was closer and almost at eye level with the students. In a magnetic tone he said sternly, "This is not a place for children since children often let their imaginations and naivety get in the way. We are not playing soldiers. We are working to ensure that our town and way of life continue to exist. The battlefield is not a bloody mess unless you make it so. We work to deal with situations as smoothly as possible."

Axel was slightly confused so he raised his hand slowly. Due to his height, even slouched, his hand broke higher than all the other students'. Xemnas' keen eyes gazed through the forest of hands in front of Axel. With a nod of his head he gave permission for Axel to speak. He let his hand fall and crossed his arms over his chest as he returned Xemnas' stare unsmilingly.

"That's all fine and dandy but I want to know who was firing off rounds in the forest about a month ago. _That_ doesn't sound too well thought out," Axel said, unable to help the attitude that crept into his words.

"Which forest?" Xemnas asked calmly. Axel had expected the guy to be tripping over his tongue or at least be a little pissed.

"East of here. It's kind of on the border with Twilight Town," Axel said, pointing out the window in a vague direction of the woods.

"The town to the east?"

"Yeah, Twilight Town," Axel said, lips twitching with a smirk. They guy didn't seem to like Axel calling the town by its name.

Xemnas regarded Axel with a curious look and then mirrored the redhead's cool smirk.

"I can assure you that we did not desire to start a fight then. However, when my men are attacked we do not back down. It's what makes our homes and people safer. If you give an inch they will take a mile. If you cannot handle the strict measures we at the Organization enforce, then perhaps this is not the right place for you."

The room grew quiet with a tense air. Larxene could be heard sucking in a sharp breath and Axel could feel her leering at him, probably with satisfaction. Axel met Xemnas' gaze boldly, a smirk still on both men's faces. Axel allowed that they were alike in the way that neither was going to give up their hidden motives and he was also wary that neither of them wanted to let go of the possibility to gain from one another.

As though they were the only two in the room, Axel asked boldly, "So, _sir_, what do I have to do?"

Xemnas replied with a delicately insinuating tone, "As I said, it's all very simple..."

* * *

><p>The sun had set hours ago and Roxas would be in his bedroom somewhere on the second floor of the old farmhouse. From the back of the farmhouse, Axel knew that Roxas' room was the first on the right with a small window just above a shed that was attached to the house. Axel found the shed more convenient clambering on top of it to get to the window, rather than actually using it as an entry way into the house.<p>

There was a small lamp still lit near the window, not providing as much light as the full moon but definitely helpful. Axel tapped lightly on Roxas' window as he crouched on the shed's roof.

He'd entered this way probably more times than he'd entered the front door and mused that Roxas had probably exited this way just shy of Axel's entries.

In the past, Axel would throw pebbles or knock on the window and Roxas would climb down the shed so they could run off to the barn or the woods to grab a couple extra hours of play. Just because the sun had gone to sleep didn't mean they had to too.

As they got older and realized that they had become best friends, they regarded the path down the shed as something covert and so special only they could ever know about. Anyone else's knowledge would ruin what they had built. Like the story of how Roxas had gotten his scar, it was sacred to their friendship.

Then there was the realization that even the best of friendships didn't excite people in ways that made them want to kiss and touch for hours. Now the path was used for Axel to either clamber into Roxas' bed or, if they feared they would be too noisy, Roxas could climb down the shed and they could go to the forest on summer nights or to the barn in the winter.

That night would prove to be a little different.

Roxas had been reading, quite comfy lying on his bed. His heart pumped fire and his nerves burned when he heard the tap on his window. Dog-earing the page, he jumped lightly to his feet and opened the window to reveal Axel...dressed in a black uniform.

Axel slid soundlessly through the window and stood before his baffled friend.

"Axel, what the hell are you wearing?" Roxas asked, tugging lightly at the long, black trench coat.

"How do I look?" Axel asked, enjoying Roxas' bemusement and fingers running across his new uniform.

"Good," Roxas said but hesitantly.

"Just good, Roxy?"

Roxas took his hands off Axel and stepped back as though Axel was an infectious disease. Axel thought Roxas actually didn't like the uniform and felt shame trickle down his spine and settle in his stomach.

"Just 'cause we can't make too much noise doesn't mean you can get away with calling me ridiculous names," Roxas chuckled and the humour returned to Axel as well.

Roxas removed his book from the bed, sat down and patted the space next to him. Axel kicked off his heavy boots and took Roxas in his arms as they lay down. Axel dolefully rested his lips on the top of the boy's blonde head as Roxas wound his fingers in Axel's long, red hair. They both seemed to sense something was off. The coat, they both seemed to think, was the third wheel in that situation. It was rather bulky and a little too warm yet for a mild fall night. Roxas undid the buttons and Axel sat up to roll the coat off his shoulders. He had the thought of asking Roxas if there was a place he could hang it so that it wouldn't wrinkle, but as Roxas' lips pressed against his throat, he let the coat fall in a disgruntled heap at the edge of their bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> So what's going through your head right now? I'll try posting chapters weekly, maybe a couple chapters a week? Ha ha, apparently I need to set some stricter goals. As always, praise and constructive criticism is adored. Oh, and if anything is hard to read due to spacing or dividers, let me know 'cause I'm definitely not the most tech savvy person. Even after posting a couple stories I'm still not sure what looks good or is easy to read.

Thank you for reading, it means quite a lot!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Not much to say other than here's the second part and things are moving quickly in this story. I had originally planned this to be a oneshot, but it became a little longer than expected. I'll try and update as much as possible this week because I'll be gone to my cottage next week. One of the few places in the modern world where there is no internet connection. A horror for some but the main inhabitants don't seem to mind, they much prefer berries and trees.

**Thank you for your feed back. Really. *heart*  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Miniature Wars<br>**

Instead of classes of math and history, Axel now attended a school that taught him survival techniques and how to protect himself. He found himself sitting in the mess hall, chatting with Zexion over lunch. A few minutes later, a boy around Axel and Zexion's age dropped his bag on the ground with a loud _clunk_ and plopped himself next to Zexion with an emphatic sigh.

"Man, I think that was the most boring two hours of my life!" he said and flopped his head on the table dog-tired. Axel regarded the ridiculous guy with amusement as he silently watched the boy groan.

"Demyx, did you just come from your first class?" Zexion asked, speaking rather rationally to this boy who seemed to want to do nothing more than lay on the table.

"Yes! And it was _ridiculous_. The instructor hates me because of one, silly mistake," the boy, Demyx, said and perked up only to give an exasperated sigh. "He said I would have killed all of my classmates if I had put this chemical thing in this other chemical thing, but I wasn't going to! Seriously! Why do I need to know this stuff? When will I _ever_ be using chemistry on the battlefield?"

"Who's the instructor?" Axel asked, drawing Demyx's tirade from Zexion's smirking gaze.

"Vexen. He's a know-it-all and creepy to boot. I'm Demyx by the way. Sorry, I should have said so earlier," Demyx said, extending his left hand to shake hands, but realized that the left hand felt awkward so he quickly swapped it for his right and ended up banging elbows with Zexion and not shaking at all.

Axel laughed as his hand hovered over the table with Demyx having retracted his hand to flutter around Zexion and apologize for bumping him.

"Demyx, it's fine. _Stop it_. I said it's _fine_," Zexion grated as he warded off the blonde boy's hands.

"Sorry again, anyways," Demyx muttered as he calmed himself.

"If you two ladies are done flirting..." Axel said teasingly, enjoying the deadpan look he received from Zexion and the energetic indignation from Demyx. Axel extended his hand to Demyx who calmed down and shook it.

"I'm Axel and I think I have a date with Professor Vexen in fifteen minutes. Is he really that horrible?" Axel asked as he stood up from his seat and shrugged his backpack over one shoulder.

"Well, I didn't like him, but I'm kind of the wrong guy to ask since it was me who screwed up," Demyx said honestly.

Axel _hmm_ed and sized Demyx up, causing the awkward cadet to blush and his fingers to fidget.

"Well, I like you and I've only known you for a couple minutes so we'll see how long it takes me to discover my feelings for Vexen," Axel said as he waved at Zexion and Demyx and walked away. "You'll hear from me shortly whether I like him or not."

Demyx waved Axel off with a confused expression and turned to Zexion who had pulled out a textbook and was flipping through the pages.

"What did Axel mean?" he asked.

"Probably exactly as he said," Zexion said offhandedly.

"And what does _that_ mean?"

"That Axel does as Axel pleases and the day he doesn't will be a very terrifying day," Zexion said, bookmarking a page with a scrap of paper and continuing to turn more pages.

Demyx nodded his head though he truly didn't get it.

* * *

><p>About half an hour later, Demyx and Zexion were walking down one of the many corridors of the school when they heard a loud commotion. Demyx immediately tensed up while Zexion froze before relaxing as he realized they were likely quite safe with no visible enemies or source of worry.<p>

A rather large man in an upper rank uniform walked past the two students and disappeared into one of the classrooms. He re-emerged a moment later with Axel at his side, the redhead equalling the upper rank soldier's height but not girth. Axel had his hands in his pockets and bag slung over his shoulder and when he saw Demyx and Zexion, he paused to speak with them. The taller man, Lexaeus Zexion would later inform Demyx, stopped with a grunt of disapproval next to Axel.

"Hey guys. Off to class?" Axel asked, seemingly ignorant of Lexaeus' disapproval.

"Uh..." Demyx uttered, taking in Lexaeus' girth and not the question.

"Yes, we are. And you Axel?" Zexion asked politely.

"Not sure. Where'm I going?" Axel asked the large man casually.

"To run laps," Lexaeus said in a gravelly voice that Demyx should have predicted would emanate from such a man, but sent shivers up his spine all the same.

"That all? Geez, I thought I'd get a heavier sentence. That's just a slap on the wrist," Axel scoffed.

"Boy, your legs are going to be wishing it were your wrists that were being punished when I'm through with you," Lexaeus threatened and put a hand on Axel's shoulder, "C'mon. Standing around now will only make it worse on you later."

They retreated down the hall and left Demyx and Zexion to themselves. After a moment, Zexion allowed himself to smirk and said, "Axel didn't like Vexen."

* * *

><p>The reason why Axel always went to the farmhouse was not because Roxas was afraid to go into the woods at night, or that Axel's parents were any deafer than Roxas'. It was because scrambling up the vines on Axel's brick house was tricky in the sunlight and under the cover of night was only possible if one had a great desire to do so.<p>

Out of breath from his climb, Roxas rapped on Axel's window with one hand while his other held shakily to the vines. It took Axel a moment but he eventually opened the window. Roxas was able to grab hold of the sill and pull himself halfway into Axel's bedroom, his legs kicking at the outer wall as he struggled to get in. Axel grabbed a hold of Roxas' arms and tugged the boy through as gently as he could, but his tired body gave way and the two of them ended up collapsing with a _thud_ on the bedroom floor. Both were out of breath so neither laughed, but the amusement hung in the air, ready to take hold whenever they were able to stand again.

"Do you think anyone heard?" Roxas finally whispered.

"Doubt it. Dad sleeps like a rock and mom's so used to his snoring I doubt elephants would wake her," Axel said as he lay quite still and happy under Roxas. His body ached so badly that the simple action of placing a kiss on Roxas' forehead made his neck scream with the effort.

"How you doin', babe?" Axel asked as casually as possible while his body cursed him for moving.

"Fine," Roxas said and pushed himself off Axel's chest. It was obvious that his usually energetic best friend was lacking a bit of his vitality. He knelt next to Axel and brushed his red bangs from his forehead. "What about you? You look..."

"Amazing? Gorgeous? Fucking tired?" Axel supplied.

"Yeah, the last one," Roxas chuckled.

With a groan, Axel pushed himself up, leaned his back against his bed and surveyed Roxas with warm eyes. The exhaustion in his bones and muscles was well worth it if Roxas would continue to stare at him with such admiration. It was all for him anyways, Axel thought as he cupped and patted Roxas' cheek.

Roxas quietly crawled across the floor and crouched over Axel's lap, setting his chin on the other boy's shoulder.

"Are you okay, Axel?" Roxas asked in sincere voice.

"Just tired. I shouldn't have expressed my dislike so explosively," Axel laughed at his own joke. He laid a hand across Roxas' back, but he really was too tired to hold even a finger up against gravity's pull.

Roxas didn't seem to care that he was the only one with any amount of energy as his worked his mouth against Axel's throat. Axel sighed and just let the boy drag his lips across his worn skin and ran his own hand slowly up and down Roxas' knee.

"Sorry, Roxas. I shouldn't have asked you to come over. I'm too tired to do anything tonight," Axel murmured as he tilted his head back to enjoy Roxas' roving just below his chin.

"I don't care. I'm happy with it just being me. I can still make you happy," Roxas said in a breathy voice as his got up on his toes to meet Axel's lips once before settling down again and focusing on unzipping Axel's trouser's.

* * *

><p>Later that night, staying awake on the dregs of energy, Axel noticed that his hand was caked with dry mud. He gently reached for Roxas, who had helped him get into bed, though his muscles were now heavy with relaxation rather than tension. Roxas had been standing by the bed, just pulling away from their final kiss of the night, when Axel caught his wrist.<p>

"Roxas, where'd this dirt come from?" Axel asked, showing Roxas his palm.

"Oh, probably from my pants," Roxas said, lifting his knee to show the other the mud there.

"Did you trip or something?"

"I help out on the farm, you know, dirt and shit happens," Roxas replied with laughing eyes but they soon darkened with the truth. "I had to hit the ground when I was walking over here. There was more gunfire and I could actually see the shots."

Axel swore loudly and Roxas shushed him. Joining Xemnas was supposed to stop his worries, keep Roxas safe.

"Why the fuck did you come then? You should have gone home, Roxas."

"I was more than halfway here."

"You still should have gone home. Now you have to go all the way back," Axel said angrily, his fist clenching on the bed. "What if they're still out there?"

Roxas was tired and his mouth was probably a little too loose with exhaustion as he said, "Well if I get shot then at least I got to see you one last time."

"That's not fucking funny, Roxas!" Axel damn near yelled.

"You're right, sorry," Roxas said quickly, placing a hand firmly on Axel's chest when he rose onto his elbows in anger. "I'll be careful tonight, okay? I promise."

There was little he could say and, since Roxas' one hand easily collapsed Axel back onto the bed, he doubted he'd be able to try to force the other to stay, or to accompany him down the vines.

With another kiss and a clicking off of the lights, Roxas climbed out the window and could be heard shuffling down the vines. Axel didn't know if he was allowed to or even if he did it right, but in his worry and desperation, he put his hands together and placed them over his face as he whispered a prayer.

* * *

><p>For his own health, Axel kept his mouth shut for most of the next day, which was pretty easy since the superiors decided that he no longer had to attend his chemistry class. Axel's strengths didn't lie in chemistry or loving Professor Vexen.<p>

There was one time when he was close to letting his lip slip. He was in fitness class warming up next to Demyx and, though he didn't let on, he felt ever so wary of Lexaeus who walked among the students as they did sit-ups. The bearish senior officer had made Axel run for as long as it took for the chemistry room to be set in order again, as well as an additional minute of lap time for every dollar it would cost the Organization for renovations. Axel didn't dare slow down as he ran since Lexaeus didn't take his eyes off Axel for the entire duration of his punishment. Lexaeus didn't utter any threats, but the five inch biceps of his crossed arms said enough. Thank God he'd only destroyed one sink.

Lexaeus paused briefly next to Axel, who kept his eyes focused on his knees and tried to keep his face as neutral as possible. His body still ached from yesterday but he wasn't going to admit that. Lexaeus just smirked, shook his head as though he knew Axel was pushing himself, and continued down the aisle.

Axel let his head rest on the ground while Lexaeus' back was turned to him, his chest heaving and shirt sticking. At the sound of a derisive sigh, Axel turned his head to see one of the senior students, who had been working out, glowering down at him. Thinking that the student was annoyed by his laziness, Axel crossed his arms behind his head and got comfy, shooting his own scathing look at the guy.

"Lazy and temperamental are not qualities that allow you to succeed here," the boy said icily.

"You know that first hand?" Axel asked, tracing an imaginary 'X' across his face with a finger to mimic the boy's scar.

Demyx had taken a break as well and, at Axel's rude retort, punched his cocky friend and hissed a warning.

"Saix isn't known for being nice," Demyx said with low and bated breath.

Saix's grin spread a little more on his lips and became a grim one.

"Hardly," he said coldly, taking a step towards Axel. Axel just adjusted his head so he could look up at Saix with a bored expression. "Self-control and rationality saved me. I wonder, will you be able to say the same?"

Saix didn't stick around for a reply. He stalked off leaving Axel fuming on the inside.

* * *

><p>Though Roxas' home was on neutral land he visited Twilight Town far more frequently because he went to school there and so knew the people's faces and the places better. Perhaps the people of Hollow Bastion knew this because eyes seemed to linger on him and cramp his spine. Axel threw an arm around Roxas' shoulders and glared at those who didn't look kindly on his boy. Taking in Axel's black trench coat and cadet uniform along with the hard look in his eyes immediately quenched the smouldering glares. He felt a youthful sort of pride swell in his chest at the power he held, but couldn't understand why Roxas' shoulders were hung high with tension.<p>

"No one's gonna touch you except for me," Axel teased and squeezed Roxas to his side.

Roxas scoffed and jabbed Axel's ribs playfully and maybe a little too roughly what with his raw nerves.

"You don't think I know that? God, Axel, that's not what worries me."

"Then what does?" Axel asked.

"What people are _thinking_ and what they want to _do_. Riku's told us some pretty nasty stories...I'm just worried that people are getting too caught up in their hate."

"Geez, you've been hanging around with Sora and his boytoy too much. That sounds like something your brother would say. And speaking of he said she said, what's Riku been saying?" Axel asked with a frown. He'd heard of no action in Hallow Bastion other than patrols and guard stations he'd been a part of, and they always were quiet and _boring as hell_. How many nights had he spent posted at the city walls, goofing off with Demyx or picking fights with Larxene as the moon crossed the sky?

"That things are not going well," Roxas said glumly. Riku had said a lot more, but Roxas and Sora had sworn not to say a word to anyone seeing as Riku was from Twilight Town and Axel was from, well...

Axel reached to the back of his head to scratch at his neck, mildly surprised that his long hair wasn't quite so long any more. Saix and his posse of older students had cut off a large chunk of his and Demyx's hair claiming it was military standards. Axel said it was bullshit but not wanting to cause more trouble with Demyx involved, allowed them to shear off most of its length. He had been surprised when Xemnas walked by as they were being trimmed against their will. He expected the man to say something or stop the other boys, but he just smirked and walked on as though to say 'Your own strength is your greatest weapon'. His own strength he trusted to get him out of there, Demyx's was another issue. Demyx told Axel after that Saix was teacher's pet when it came to Xemnas and both theorized that Xemnas likely turned a blind eye to Saix's ridiculous initiation methods.

Axel was about to question Roxas further when a voice yelled his name from behind. Axel and Roxas turned around to see Demyx running up the street, arms waving like a startled bird's wings.

"Should we be worried?" Roxas asked with a confused frown.

"Nah. Demyx is always doing stupid shit," Axel said while waving back at Demyx. He yelled to the running boy, "What are you doing, Dem?"

Demyx stopped a foot in front of Axel and Roxas, his chest heaving although the boy probably wasn't all that tired what with his fitness training. With his coat slipping off his shoulders, shirt un-tucked from his pants and boot laces hanging limply like floppy, black worms, Roxas couldn't help but think Riku was wrong about the severity of Hallow Bastion's military crew.

"I saw you walking down the street and ran to catch up," the boy huffed.

"Why?" Axel asked and ran his thumb up and down Roxas' arm subtly but distinctly enough for Demyx to see Axel was with very important company. Demyx was becoming a good friend but Roxas was friendlier.

"Just 'cause," Demyx shrugged, brushing down his shirt though it did nothing for his overall appearance. As if he hadn't seen Roxas tucked under Axel's arm and staring amusedly at him, Demyx stuck out his hand to him and said, "I'm Demyx! Roxas, right?"

Roxas pulled away from Axel and shook Demyx's hand. Both blonde boys were ignorant of Axel's sarcastic huff and eye roll.

"Yeah, how'd you know that?" Roxas laughed, feeling more at ease with Demyx's trouble-free attitude.

"Axel's got a big mouth. He talks all about you and what you guys do - "

"Someone else has a big mouth and might get a fat lip to fit its size," Axel said, swinging playfully at Demyx's head and breezing over the boy's cropped blonde hair. Roxas just laughed at Demyx's yelp.

"If you're going to be rude then I'm going back to work," Demyx said as he backed away from Axel but with bright, amused eyes. "I'm supposed to be patrolling with Larxene."

"Poor bastard," Axel said, shaking his head.

"Not really, Larxene took off hours ago with some of the senior boys," Demyx said with an uncaring shrug. He ran his hand through the little hair he had left on his head and said somewhat sadly, "I'm glad she did. She kept teasing me about my hair."

"I think your hair looks alright," Roxas said with a friendly smile at Demyx. To Axel he said just as earnestly, "I like yours too, Axel, but I kind of wish you'd told me beforehand you were cutting it off. I was shocked to suddenly...not see it there."

Demyx shot Axel a quizzical look, his mouth half open as though the words he wanted to say weren't sure if they should step outside.

Axel hadn't lied to Roxas, but he hadn't refuted the boy's assumption that Axel had cut his hair on purpose. A fire burned in Axel's gut that was fuelled by shame and guilt and it puffed acrid, black smoke up his throat. The thought that he hated the Organization stormed in his brain, but could do little more than grumble. Where would he be without the Organization? He'd still have his hair but not the strength to protect Roxas. A decade's worth of hair didn't tip the scale like Roxas did.

Axel gripped Roxas' chin and pulled it upward to place a passionate kiss on the boy's lips and when they broke he said, "Sorry, Rox. I didn't really know it would happen either, _but_ why don't we change something else around? Have a little stylish fun ourselves?"

"What?" Roxas asked, mouth going a little slack with surprise as Axel took his arm and began steering the boy elsewhere. Axel linked arms with Demyx who protested and questioned much like Roxas.

"You're coming too, Dem," Axel said with a wild laugh.

Roxas and Demyx followed Axel down the street a little further and stopped in front of a small shop that looked like it needed a lot of TLC. Then again, most of the shops needed to be refurbished despite being only a couple decades old. It was hard to keep stores up and running when the products they sold were short stocked and not often bought during those tightened times. Carved into the wooden frame above the entrance was the owner's name and wares.

"Tattoos...?" Roxas mused, reading the sign then attempting to peer through the murky window into the store. When he couldn't see much beyond the glass Roxas gazed up at Axel who stared at the store with a determined look. There might have been an uncertain war waging between the two towns, but Axel looked as though he'd just found the coup de grâce for his own private battle.

Roxas wondered why Axel all of a sudden expressed an interest in this and, more importantly, what exactly he wanted stamped into his skin. Roxas knew Axel could be a bit impulsive but he didn't think he would get something ridiculous. Nah, Axel had a silly side but he wasn't stupid. Roxas continued to muse at what and _where_ Axel would get the tattoo done, cheeks tinting red at some of the possibilities.

"Oh man..." Demyx said plaintively under his breath.

"Geez, Demyx, don't worry. You don't have to get one," Axel laughed, turning to shoot Demyx a bright smile, but it was doused with worry when he saw his friend looking across the street.

Axel recognized Larxene right away as well as Saix. The other student he didn't know except that the pink haired officer that accompanied Axel's least favourite people was a higher rank. Like guard dogs that had found an intruder on their territory they prowled around a couple kids, snapping and snickering.

"Larxene can be a bit of a bitch, especially when showing off to older guys," Axel said with a shrug. The kids weren't much younger than Axel, probably Roxas' age, and they most likely were from Twilight Town. He figured they could handle themselves and maybe Larxene's bark would keep them out of Hallow Bastion and in their own town where they were safe. Demyx was probably more worried that Larxene would chew him out for not helping.

"Hey..." Roxas said with a frown forming on his face as he turned away from Axel's embrace to look at the group across the street.

"Roxas - hey, where are you going?" Axel asked confusedly. A bolt of fear pierced his stomach and made him grab Roxas by the arm. Even if Roxas wasn't a citizen of Twilight Town, Larxene and the others might still count him as one.

"I know the guys they're picking on!" Roxas said with an upset tone while pointing at the figures forced against the wall.

When Axel didn't let go of his arm, Roxas ripped it from his grasp and gave him a pleading look that turned repulsive.

"They're some of my best friends. _I'm _not going to let this shit happen," Roxas snarled and crossed the street to shove his way in front of Larxene and the others.

With a sighed curse, Axel cast off his misgivings and walked up behind his classmates. He had to hand it to Roxas, the little blonde had spunk. Roxas, another sandy blonde boy and a heavier set brunette stood protectively in front of a petite, blonde girl.

"Oh, Roxas. Just 'cause you're Axel's baby doesn't mean I'll treat you like mine," Larxene mocked and pinched Roxas' cheek.

Roxas shook off her touch and said just as sarcastically, "Thank God for that. I think I'd freeze at your tit, you cold hearted bitch. Naminé's originally from here! What's your problem?"

"Whatever! That little witch might have been born here but she chose the other town," Larxene said with a disgusted glare at Naminé. "She has even less right to be here than you, _Roxy_."

"Eeenough, Larxene," Axel said with swagger as he brushed past her and her comrades to stand with Roxas. He looked down at the blonde boy, whose face seemed to become even more set in defiance. Axel just rolled his eyes and turned to face his schoolmates. As a smirk tugged at his lips, he knew Roxas had to be grinning too.

"Let it go, guys. I don't think this girl or her boyfriends are gonna do much," Axel said to the group.

Larxene looked pissed, probably because Axel was embarrassing her with his treachery and, despite their rocky relationship, she actually had some respect for the redheaded idiot. Saix just looked slightly amused and the pink haired guy was pretty impassive, except for that annoying knowing smile on his face.

When none of them said anything, Axel looked at the group behind him and waved them on with his hand.

"Go on. Get out of here. These big, bad guys won't follow you."

Roxas' two guy friends shared a look with Roxas who just nodded, then stationed themselves around Naminé and led the girl out of the group. Axel half expected Roxas to follow his friends, but the boy just took a step forward to stand next to him. Axel would have to ask why he'd never seen Roxas' rebellious side before.

Saix spoke first in his cold, collected sort of way.

"How interesting. So you can be motivated after all," Saix leered at Roxas.

Axel really wanted to tell the creep off but thought better of it. If he fought people on his own side then he'd be _really_ in for it. Plus, he doubted that he and Roxas could take on three cadets, if not four, for Demyx fidgeted outside of the skirmish, not sure if he should join his friend or avoid Larxene's wrath.

Axel just scoffed and took Roxas' hand as he moved to break through their ranks. His face was neutral but his shoulders were tense. If they didn't move he'd have to force them, but they let him and Roxas pass with relative ease.

As he passed through his comrades Axel felt guilty when Larxene hissed in his ear with disappointment instead of her normal anger, "You _fuck_ing traitor."

Axel held his head high and kept a mean gleam in his eyes as he and Roxas continued walking away and not in any particular direction. When they had safely crossed the street Roxas turned them around, despite Axel's leading hand and they held sights with those on the other side. Larxene refused to look at Axel and Demyx couldn't stop looking from Saix to Axel, trying to decide what side of the road he should be on. Axel didn't care what Saix thought of his choice. The only reason he'd chosen to join Xemnas was for Roxas, so it was obvious where he felt most comfortable standing. Roxas' fingers squeezed his hand and any dregs of dread were burned in his best friend's warmth and pride.

"We have important places to be, right, Marluxia?" Saix asked, turning to stare at the pink haired man, who nodded and led Saix down the street.

With a cool glance over his shoulder, Saix said in passing to Larxene, "I believe you are meant to be patrolling? I don't think General Xemnas would like to hear _two_ reports of misconduct in one day."

Even from across the way, Axel could see Larxene's teeth grind and her fists clench but she nodded all the same. Saix and Marluxia walked away and Larxene turned to Demyx who flinched and took a step back.

"Whoa, Larxene..." he said, hands outstretched as if that gesture could stop her from charging.

"I am NOT patrolling with you or _him_," Larxene snarled and pointed across the street at Axel as she banged shoulders with Demyx. With that last rage, she was gone.

Demyx looked up and down the street, tossed his head in debate, and with a look that said 'damn it all to hell' he booked it across the road to stand before Axel and Roxas.

Scratching the back of his head and blushing, Demyx muttered, "Sorry, guys...it's just - "

"You don't have to say anything," Roxas said, smiling at the other boy who grinned sheepishly back. To Axel, Roxas beamed and his eyes shone with pride. "You didn't really have to either, though I guess I probably wouldn't have talked to you for a while. A long, long while. Thanks, Axel."

Axel wasn't quite sure how to feel now that the heat and tension had stormed away with Larxene. He was glad that he'd stuck up for Roxas but ticked at the same time because the fight had been more for that girl, Naminé, not someone he really cared about. He was pretty sure that Xemnas could be more creative than punishing Axel with laps. Axel had never heard of any cadets putting pins on the General's seat or even sneezing when they said his name, and there was probably a reason for that. Larxene would probably make him pay too. The worst part was that he didn't get to expend any pain onto them.

When Roxas placed a loving kiss on Axel's lips, the taller boy deepened the kiss and spent some of his angst there.

"I believe we were going somewhere?" Axel said, once again pulling the two boys along in his wake.

* * *

><p>Axel sat slouched in his chair with his long legs spread uncivilly. Xemnas sat across from him, behind a desk that had likely been quite impressive with ornate carvings and lustre but now sagged as though the fighting was taking its toll on the furniture.<p>

"You are very lucky that you are not of a higher rank and that your actions caused only a slight disturbance. Treason is not tolerated in the Organization and it is remedied with the strongest of medicines," Xemnas said with his gaze hooked mercilessly with Axel's.

Axel just kept his mouth closed. He had a lot he'd like to say and none of it was polite. Sarcasm and impulsions had gotten him this far, where could downright rudeness take him? Nowhere good.

"Though you probably don't realize it now, you will if you continue disobeying the rules. People will get hurt and more often than not it is people who aren't even on the frontlines," Xemnas said slowly and precisely. Axel's eyes widened at what seemed like a neatly covered threat. Xemnas smiled and continued, "Tell me, Axel...what's more worthy of your loyalty? An alliance that promises you a secure life or a friendship that is in all likelihood fake?"

"Excuse me, but - " Axel began angrily as he straightened in his chair but Xemnas calmly cut him off.

"You will address me with 'sir', cadet," Xemnas said sternly. He shook his head and said in a softer but none the less severe tone, "You've been with us for over a month. You are long past the exemption of novice understanding. Learn the ranks and learn your place, cadet."

He had been hushed by Xemnas' wind but his flames were fanned. Axel struggled to keep his mouth shut and Xemnas seemed to take pleasure in watching one of his dogs bite at his muzzle.

"You may want to think before you speak but you do have permission to speak," Xemnas said, after a pause and he nodded curtly to Axel.

Anger seeped up his throat and sizzled on his tongue. How he'd love to spit venom in the face of anyone who talked about Roxas that way, but he knew that was no good. Saix had obviously said something to Xemnas about Roxas, and call it instinct, but Axel wouldn't put it past Xemnas to put Roxas in harm's way if he thought it would make Axel sweat for him. They were alike in this sense; Axel was using the Organization for its strength and Xemnas was using Axel for his strength. With a slight slumping of his shoulders, Axel resigned.

"With all due respect, _sir_, my friends have proved their loyalty to me and I'm trying to do the same."

"This I already know and more. Sadly, you still do not see it and it's staring you in the face," Xemnas said, allowing some real emotion to leak into his words. Axel stared at his superior, a little confused, a little frustrated, and more than a little tired.

Xemnas continued, getting up from his chair to walk around the room, disappearing from Axel's vision but not his hearing.

"You've just stated you have your loyalty to your friends and family – who doesn't? At the same time, you pledge loyalty to the Organization, to our cause, to _me_. What you fail to see is that anyone else in this world can have more than one allegiance, including those closest to home and heart," Xemnas paused just behind Axel's shoulder. The brazen cadet could feel those odd, sunburnt eyes drilling into the top of his skull. He looked up at his superior with as strong a gaze as possible. Xemnas just blinked coolly and continued on his way back to behind his desk where he stood.

"Your friends may have loyalty to you, but they also remain loyal to the town that reared and educated them. What do you think will win out? A home where one was born and resides in? Or the person who only visits in the night?"

Fear stopped Axel's heart for a moment and, though he was quick to recover, it had been reflected in his eyes. Xemnas _knew too much_. And Axel had no idea _how_ the man had found out. Did he know how Axel slipped out his backdoor, ran through the woods and clambered onto the woodshed to crawl beneath Roxas' sheets? That was not something _anyone_ was meant to know about. No one but him and Roxas were supposed to know, especially not this man. It was frightening and embarrassing. It was too much. Not Xemnas, not anyone, was allowed to lay what he and Roxas shared, on a table like a map a poke at the possible places for attack. With a frantic thought, Axel realized that he should never have joined the Organization, but from the moment he locked eyes with Xemnas, put on the uniform, accepted the grunt work, he was sunk to the tips of his hair. All he could do was continue down the tunnel and search for a light at the other end.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** I have done something horrible. No, not in the story, excatly. I completely forgot to give credit to my best friend and editor of Hero. So, thank you Ann for editing the entire story and making me laugh at my own mistakes. I'm sure the readers appreciate it too. Because of you I have fewer dum mistakes. See what I did there? I hope not because it was stupid...

I'll stop bugging you guys and let you do what you came to do.

* * *

><p><strong>Loving the Fight, Fighting to Love<strong>

"For how long?" Roxas asked as he looked up at Axel.

The two boys were standing on Roxas' porch, the sun meekly shining that day and the air quite cool. Axel stood before Roxas, the blond boy short enough to stand under Axel like how they were both standing under the porch's covering. They wore doleful expressions and found it hard to look each other in the eye.

"I don't know but not for too long. Xemnas can't keep his dogs away from the home for long," Axel said in an attempt to sound cheery, but the tone was too heavy to let the words fly.

"Yeah. And it's just training, right?" Roxas asked as he now looked up at his best friend.

With tensions being bad, Roxas no longer visited Hallow Bastion so if something happened to Axel it was likely no one would tell him. It was a thought that scared him more than the thought of another soldier standing at his door and saying he was very sorry for Roxas' loss. If Axel just didn't come home for months and months Roxas didn't know what he could or would do. Maybe he could ask Riku...no, that would be too risky.

"Yeah, just training," Axel said with dim eyes.

The wind blew, lightly shaking the trees and making them sigh. Two or three song birds tweeted at one another and the sun lazily opened its eye to peek through the porch screen, but the boys were still and silent.

"Roxas...it's not so bad. I - "

"When do you leave?" Roxas interrupted, fingers clenching and unclenching at his side.

"Like, an hour," Axel mumbled.

He knew he that the training camp would take him away for a couple months. Dread gnawed on his heart but he could hear the gnashing of its teeth in his ear. A week away from Roxas during a war that hid just below the ground would be a long time of uncertainty. Months apart could change both of them permanently.

Roxas was silent for too long. Warily Axel raised his head and was prepared to console Roxas, but the blond boy had been gazing up at Axel with blazing eyes.

"What?" Axel asked and ran a hand along his chin as he laughed, "Do I have something on my face?"

At times like those Roxas really wished he was taller. Stretching up on his tippy-toes and legs trembling to reach Axel's lips just made him feel so short. He wouldn't describe their kiss as short though. Axel's arms were around him, squeezing and searching his spine for a way through his vertebrae and a backdoor way into his heart.

There was a dry cough that didn't come from an infected throat, but nonetheless a sickened person. Roxas and Axel broke apart to see Riku coming up the stairs, a flat expression thinly masking heated emotions on Sora's friend's face.

"Where's Sora?" Riku asked as he stood stiffly at the top of the steps, a little distanced from Roxas and Axel.

Axel noticed an awkward feel about the guy. Riku and Axel had never been close friends because they tended to drift around the brothers and so only crossed paths when it came to situations that dealt with Sora and Roxas. Now it felt that Riku might actually have some great emotion for the redhead. Too bad all the vibes felt dark and tense.

Axel regarded Riku with an amused expression, trying to understand the hateful glances he received. They were from opposite sides and Axel was a soldier. Maybe Riku thought it was bad enough to be associated with the Organization without having done anything. Whatever, he wasn't here to pick fights, he was here to say goodbye to Roxas.

"Sora's inside. Just go on in," Roxas said, trying to smile at the boy though he too seemed to feel tense in Axel's arms.

Riku nodded curtly and, giving Axel a wide birth, retreated into the house. He let the screen door bang closed behind him.

"Little ray of sunshine that one is," Axel commented while watching Riku's shadow disappear down the hallway. "He should dress in yellow, it'd compliment his sunny disposition."

"Knock it off," Roxas tried to say sternly but smiled all the same. His eyes lowered as he said, "Riku's going through some tough things in Twilight Town. Even I know that he's never been one to ask for help. Sora's worried about him but he won't let Sora in, let him help. It's tough..."

"Well, no more silly, heroic acts outta me. See where it's landed me? Couple weeks out in the boondocks without my Roxas. What am I gonna do? Maybe I should be asking _who_ am I gonna do?" Axel laughed as he ruffled Roxas.

In a flickering attempt to hide a cheeky grin, Roxas said soberly, "Larxene's going isn't she?"

"You've got quite the mouth," Axel sighed as he held Roxas in a tight embrace.

"You would know," Roxas murmured against the tall boy's chest, making them both buzz with soft laughter.

Still, no matter how many amusing, dirty, little jokes they told the dread and sadness persisted in the cool air of the grey, summer's day.

* * *

><p>"How the hell does this thing work?" Demyx asked as he flipped the gun upside down, taking an awkward hold of the deadly thing. Axel and Larxene both took a step to the side, away from Demyx, but looked down at their own weapons a little uncertainly. It was beginning to rain and outside the protection of camp the earth turned to a muddy mess.<p>

With a nasty sneer Larxene said, "Aim the long part at Axel and start screwing with the trigger. Something good's bound to happen."

"Nah, aim it at Larxene and pull. You'll be doing the world a favour," Axel replied with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "Probably get a medal for it."

Larxene still hadn't forgiven Axel for humiliating her and Axel really didn't give a shit. He wasn't there to make nice and he was sure neither of them had pictured a ring of soldiers holding hands and singing songs around the campfire when they were told about the training camp. Well, maybe Demyx had pictured that seeing as he'd brought his sitar along.

"I suggest not aiming it at any of your comrades and wait for further instruction," Zexion said rationally.

Larxene rolled her eyes and said cattily, "Still say aim it at Axel."

"Put the bitch to sleep," Axel quipped and shook the rain haughtily from his clipped hair.

"Go fuck yourself."

"Gladly, as long as it's got nothing to do with you."

"Get back in line, kiddies!" the instructor barked as he sauntered up the line of cadets, a grin on his scarred face. He paused before Demyx, the boy still holding the gun awkwardly as thought it were a baby. The instructor's grin slackened as he pointed at the gun and asked Demyx, "That's not loaded, right?"

"Uh, no. Unless they come loaded?" Demyx said uncertainly, giving the gun a shake to see if any bullets clanked around inside it.

Axel and Larxene gazed at Demyx with disbelieving looks. Axel smirked and wondered what would the instructor make of Demyx?

The instructor put a hand to his face and his shoulders sagged as though letting out a heavy sigh. To Axel and Larxene's surprise the man came up laughing and fixed Demyx with his one bright eye. The other eye was hidden or perhaps lost behind an eye patch.

"Soldier, I ban you from aiming that gun, loaded or not, at any living thing. You're one kid I don't want shooting at squirrels and birds. I'd like to keep my other eye," the instructor laughed and Demyx blushed.

To the line-up of students at large, the instructor barked, "Alright kids, we're going for a stroll in the rain. I'm Officer Xigbar and as long as you behave and listen to me, I can make a sharpshooter outta you. 'Cept for you blondie," Xigbar said in a lower tone and with a grin on his face as he pointed at Demyx. "You're gonna learn the spray 'em and flay 'em method."

Xigbar moved away from Demyx, Axel, and Larxene to the head of the line where he jostled other students along and barked orders that didn't sound as serious as they should be.

"I think I'm in the wrong profession," Demyx said glumly, his stature a little shrunken as the line squelched through the mud.

Larxene snorted as though to say 'you're just figuring this out _now_?'

"Geez, Dem. This instructor actually likes you. Why d'you have to come out with a downer of a line like that now?" Axel said, teasingly stepping on the heel of Demyx's boot and making the boy stumble.

"Likes me?" Demyx said with surprise as he half turned around to fix Axel's amused expression with bewildered eyes, "He was picking on me. I don't think that's _like_. If it were, you and Larxene would be in love."

Larxene spun around, mud whirling from her boots from the swiftness of her turnabout.

"Demyx, you little shit!" she bellowed, raising her gun to use more as a club than a firearm.

The rain was coming down harder now, nearly so dense that the five feet separating Larxene from Axel appeared as though a waterfall was blocking her from him. Demyx broke rank with a yelp and banged shoulders with Axel as he did so. Larxene pursued, also banging against Axel. Maybe it was the water in his eyes but he swore that as Larxene ricocheted off him he caught sight of a smile on her lips and a light in her eyes. It was hard to tell.

One thing that the rain didn't hide was the laughter from a source Axel didn't know was possible. Zexion was laughing, not huge snorts or anything like that. Just generally amused, good natured laughter. Axel was with Zexion on this one. Through laughter crinkled eyes they saw a confused Xigbar double back to watch Larxene hunt down Demyx in the pouring rain.

* * *

><p>"C'mon, c'mon! Pretend dinner's waiting on the other side of the wall! Hey, redhead, don't be a smartass. I know the food we serve is one shade away from being shit, but that doesn't mean you can slow down. Move your ass! Your mom gave you those long legs for a reason. Use 'em!" Xigbar cajoled from beside the tall wooden wall the cadets were climbing.<p>

Axel smirked and gave an energetic kick to get up and over the wall. He landed on the other side in a crouch. The others were either struggling at the bottom or about halfway. Axel walked back to the other side to wolf whistle at Demyx and Zexion. When he received grunts and threatening glares from the two he went to lounge about in the grass in full view of his struggling friends.

Xigbar shook his head and barked at the redheaded youth, "Park your attitude somewhere else before I make those long legs run laps."

Axel rolled back to his feet and joined then lapped his friends in climbing the wall. The relaxation and taunting had been fun, far more so than Larxene's accidental kick to his stomach that had him back at the bottom of the wall, but when he was idle his brain hummed to life. Thinking of Roxas only made him antsy and irate. There was little he could do out in the middle of nowhere and he knew his imagination was overactive. Roxas wouldn't be drowning in a pool of his own blood. Or so he hoped, he thought fleetingly as he lost his train of thought when Demyx slid back to the bottom for the sixth time, with the same yelp of alarm he had issued on his first attempt.

* * *

><p>Roxas no longer attended school. The bullet hole through his backpack said enough about why he no longer did. He hadn't even gotten into town and he was extremely lucky that his note books had taken the hit and not him. He didn't think the people running around in black or the people running about with crowns on their chests had meant to shoot anywhere near him, but what did it matter? If he was dead then he was dead.<p>

When he felt the bullet tug through the fabric of his backpack he hit the ground and rolled into the bushes. His hands lay in a patch of thistles and the thorny branches of the bush that sheltered him pricked and poked at his face and arms. The most painful sensation was the fear constricting his heart. His heart beat with an animalistic furiousness against its confines of fear. The stupidest and most unhelpful of thoughts ran through his head. It helped in no way to be thinking about a boy and his kisses when that boy was miles away from him at that moment.

* * *

><p>"Shit!" Axel swore as he clapped a hand to his abdomen. Red stuck to his fingers as he tried to straighten himself up, but the pain in his stomach spread in vicious ripples along his body.<p>

"I saw that one coming and I've only got one eye," Xigbar said, partly disappointed and partly amused at Axel's cussing. He turned to Larxene who smirked behind the scope of the paintball gun. Xigbar smiled with her as he said, "Good shot but I would have placed the bullet either a little higher to kill or a little lower to destroy."

The pain lasted briefly but his anger persisted. He had his own paintball gun in hand and would've loved to sink a couple shots into her stomach. A moment later the thought was obliterated when a wild flurry of blue paint pellets splattered across Larxene's chest making her howl and tumble to the forest floor. The pellets showered Xigbar's back as well, eliciting a huff from the older officer.

"Dammit, blondie. I know I pegged you as a trigger-happy fool but you _do not shoot the non-combatants_," Xigbar growled at Demyx as the boy fought his way out of the untamed and browning greenery.

"Sorry, I couldn't see through the trees," Demyx admitted, coming to stand next to Axel with Zexion following closely behind.

"Demyx, firing blindly is probably the worst thing you could do with a gun," Xigbar reproached as he massaged the small of his back. With a rugged smile that stretched his scar a little he pointed to Axel and added with a laugh, "No smartass comments about blindness."

"Fine, but I gotta say, you really nailed Larxene. I'm proud of you, Dem," Axel said happily and affectionately wrapped his arm around Demyx's neck.

Demyx chuckled and ribbed Axel with his elbow. Zexion stood a little ways away, a grin slipping onto his face as he watched his idiot friends.

"It would be wise to retreat," Zexion said and headed back into the bushes.

"What? Why?" Demyx asked Zexion's back but received no reply.

"Probably because Lady Vengeance is on her feet again," Xigbar said, pointing at Larxene who was splotched blue and pissed off.

Demyx looked down at his gun.

"But I'm out of pellets," he admitted.

With a grim laugh Larxene unloaded on them.

* * *

><p>It had become a rarity for Riku to visit their farmhouse but today the silver haired boy was overwhelmingly present. His bangs clung to his forehead with the sweat he had worked up quite literally running across the battlefield and to the safety of Sora and Roxas' house. Roxas' brow crinkled with irony of calling the house safe as he wrung bloody water from the dishcloth. He dipped a clean cloth into the pot of boiled water and laid it on top of Sora's exposed shoulder. Sora hissed and clenched his teeth while Riku let the wounded boy squeeze the blood from his hand.<p>

"Sorry," Roxas mumbled and sat next to his brother who lay on the floor, covered by Riku's black trench coat.

Honestly the hiss of pain wasn't that bad compared to the bloodcurdling scream the boy had let out when Roxas dug the nasty, nestled bullet from his brother's arm. At that point Roxas had felt like a monster, though he knew it had to come out. Tears had sprung to both brothers' eyes, but Roxas had harshly shoved his away and timorously dragged the wretched thing out. Riku had just gotten there at the time when Sora lay moaning and taking sobbing breaths, his writhing just beginning to cease as Roxas held the little pieces of metal between shaking, red fingers. Both boys were privately thankful as well as stressed that Riku had been there. Neither wanted the strong young man to see them with tears in their eyes, while at the same time Sora wanted someone to hold onto as the pain brought on darkness, and Roxas knew there was no way he could stitch the wound with his nervous hands. Thankfully Kairi had found Riku and passed the message on.

Funnily enough, Roxas mused, Riku wasn't exactly a pillar of strength. He looked just as gaunt as Sora who had been bleeding out for the last half hour.

Riku and Sora exchanged some quiet murmurs that Roxas turned his gaze from. They may be brothers and particularly close siblings, but those hushed whispers shared while wounds healed were private and intimate. Roxas' cheeks were glowing just from hearing the tones of their voices.

With a light kiss shared on the lips and another pressed to Sora's sweat drenched forehead, the injured brother fell into a slumber. Riku gently checked Sora's pulse and breathing with a loving yet practical hand. Apparently everything was as it should be for he pressed another kiss with white lips against Sora's temple and let go of the boy's hand to walk over to Roxas.

They sat, eyes trained carefully on Sora's chest, watching the air move in and out. Finally Riku said in a well controlled voice that Roxas admired, "It shouldn't be like this."

"He shouldn't be sleeping?" Roxas asked, eyes flickering back to fearful.

Riku chuckled but given the atmosphere of the room and the bloodstained rug, it sounded sardonic and dark.

"I don't think you could stop him even if you wanted to. Sleeping his problems away is probably the best way for him to heal right now," Riku paused and fixed Roxas with a determined gaze. In a much graver tone he continued, "Sora shouldn't have been at the registration office."

Roxas bristled a little at the comment. Of course he didn't want his brother hurt in the war but what right did Riku have to say Sora shouldn't join if he wanted to?

"What? You don't think Sora could handle himself?" Roxas asked in a hushed and harsh voice.

"Don't be ridiculous, Roxas. I know that Sora can take care of himself. What I'm saying is that he shouldn't have to join either side because he's not part of either," Riku whispered back bitingly.

"Maybe not physically, like actually in any borders, but he's certainly a part of your life," with a knowing look at Riku's stubborn face and a sad smile at his sleeping brother he added, "He'd follow you anywhere, Riku."

"Fine, but where's that leave you and Axel?" Riku retorted with an equally sombre smile.

"It's the same for us as it is for you and Sora. We want what's best for ourselves and each other. I'd come through for Axel like he'd come through for me," Roxas said honestly but a ball of anxiety began forming in his stomach like rotten food that refused to pass.

"And if Sora runs after me and you run after Axel, where's that leave you and Sora?"

Roxas was silent.

The answer 'looking from opposite sides of the fence' hung in the rusty blood scent of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>For those that read closely:<strong> there was subtle little-somethingin this chapter that hints at a more crucial event in the story. Did you spot it? Love you guys.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sniffing for Trouble**

It had been almost three months since Axel had said goodbye to Roxas and, though the days changed with new events and tasks, the nights seemed to be on repeat.

After a rowdy dinner in the dining tent where chatter and laughter roared, Demyx would bring out his sitar and play a couple songs. The cadets usually packed it in early because there really wasn't much to do or see once the sun went down. At this point, Axel was either the last one to bed because he was to watch the fire burn down to slumbering coals or because he was lying awake on his cot. During those solitary times his mind became devastatingly fixed on Roxas.

There was just no way of knowing whether the cracks or flares he saw in the night were close to the farmhouse or far from it. Even on calm nights he sat at the edge of camp looking to the south where Roxas may be sleeping. One time, when his worry flared in his heart and his mind seemed to say 'he _needs_ you' Axel actually left the edge and waded into the night. He crept through the trees with incredibly quiet feet, but he hadn't gotten far when Xigbar spotted him. How the older one-eyed man had spotted him in the dark canopy of trees Axel couldn't even guess.

He could feel his movements becoming swifter, arms and legs stronger, aim sharper and endurance increased tenfold. That was great. It was strength he could use. But what was the fucking point if he wasn't using it against his enemies or to help Roxas out? Axel thought as he lowered his head to his knees. Axel's restlessness stirred like the flames he was watching being buffeted by the breeze.

He was shaken from his reverie when he heard the crunch of a vehicle's wheels and looked up to see headlights bobbing with every dip in the earth. He didn't raise the alarm; he seriously doubted the enemy would be so stupid as to drive up with their lights on. He did pick his gun up as a precaution and when the driver stopped not far from the fire he had half a mind to open fire on the passenger anyway.

Saix swung the door open and stepped out of the jeep to survey Axel. His eyes passed over the gun in the Axel's hands and a smirk tugged at his lips. From the driver side of the jeep Marluxia stepped out of the vehicle and stood a little behind Saix, his hands behind his back and face hidden by the moving shadows the fire pushed around on his features.

"Rouse Larxene," Saix said to Axel.

"I knew under that cool face you were a sadistic bastard," Axel responded slyly.

"What do you mean by that?" Saix asked, little emotion on his face save for a hint of curiosity.

"I'd rather you take me out behind the garbage pile and shoot me than have to wake Larxene. Saix the Sadist...that how you get off?" Axel posed the question with well feigned seriousness.

"I see Officer Xigbar's training camp has refined your crass verbosity into a fine art," Saix replied dryly.

"Screw you too," Axel replied.

"In the interest of time, I'll go get Larxene," Marluxia said to Saix and rounded the jeep to walk down an alley between the tents and out of sight.

"So what's going on?" Axel asked as they waited for Marluxia to return with Larxene.

"General Xemnas has a task for the two of you," Saix replied placidly and refused to say any more until Larxene was present.

* * *

><p>The light of the kitchen window remained lit, illuminating a square of yellow light that could be seen easily across the clear land. Axel, Larxene and Marluxia could not be seen hunkering in the gentle dips of the land, their black coats blending them with the night.<p>

"I'm going to assume you can handle yourselves since the General has singled you two out," Marluxia said, looking from Larxene to Axel. Larxene rolled her eyes but didn't utter a scathing retort for once. Maybe she was afraid that her voice would carry easily over the flat ground.

"Larxene, you will patrol the north and west sides of the building, but I'm leaving just the east side to you, Axel. It may be more difficult since there are farming buildings to be wary about. If there is any suspicious movement just observe, unless you deem that the occupants need assistance. You can report in the morning when we've left this place," Marluxia said as he straightened up, motioning for the other two to do the same.

"And where will you be?" Larxene asked Marluxia cattily. "I don't like the idea of you watching me in the dark."

"On the southern side. You can find me there if you need assistance," Marluxia replied with a semi amused leer.

"Like I need your help," Larxene retorted before she crept off into the night.

"Geez, I think she loves you," Axel said and pushed himself off the ground to stretch lazily. He began to walk away in a nonchalant manner but Marluxia's bemused tone halted his stride.

"Fraternizing with the enemy isn't the proper term but I think you understand what I mean. I trust you know your place soldier."

With a sarcastic grunt, Axel strode off to the east side of the farmhouse. What Marluxia had said heated his already boiling thoughts and only made him more defiant. He might be under the cloak of the Organization but not under its control. He had the long black trench coat and the black spit shined boots but not the heart for the Xemnas' machine. Those thoughts beat his brain along with the realization that he hadn't seen Roxas in over three months. Roxas lay not fifty feet away, above the shed and curled under blankets. Axel quickened his pace.

He hadn't crawled on top of the little shed for months now, but thanks to his training the climb felt easier than usual. Lithe as a cat he reached the window noiselessly only to find it to be locked. He tapped on it quietly and waited, but there was no movement within. He rapped a little louder, checking over his shoulder to see if Larxene or Marluxia were around but no one apparently had heard. Axel sighed Roxas' name in a chiding tone and grabbed his knife from his belt. He jammed the flat edge under the window pane and, with a quieter crack than he had expected, opened the window and slipped inside.

His unconscious fear that Roxas, for some dread inspiring reason, wouldn't be occupying his bed eased. He was definitely there, breathing with a slow pace beneath the sheets. Axel slipped the knife back into his belt and made his way with muffled footsteps to the edge of the bed and the end of his worries.

Axel got down on one knee with his head bent to wake Roxas with a kiss as he pulled the blankets from the boy's face. He gagged which led to a hiss of pain when the sharp edge of a blade was pressed against his throat and a hand gripped the back of his hair savagely. Like the way he could feel a single tear roll from his eye down his cheek, Axel felt a thick drop of blood leak beneath the blade at his throat. He tried not to swallow.

Akin how he could dream a lifetime in the space of a minute, his adrenaline pumped several different scenarios through his mind. Had Xemnas set this up? Was this Roxas with a knife in one hand, Axel's life in his other? What had happened while he was away? Was this a test of loyalty Xemnas had set up and Axel was flunking severely?

His heartbeat slowed when he recognized Roxas' voice yet the recognition nearly broke his heart because of how distorted the snarled tone sounded.

"Don't you fucking move."

That wasn't Roxas. Roxas wasn't the type to hate on sight, yet in the darkness of the bedroom his voice directed so much hatred at Axel.

"Ro - "

The blade let another drop of blood trickle down. Axel went back to being silent.

Roxas' grip on his hair twisted and tightened as the boy kicked the blankets off his body and forced Axel onto his knees. Roxas stood before him and dragged him on his knees by his hair to the doorway. With his shoulder Roxas turned the light on.

For a brief second Axel actually saw the malevolence in Roxas' blue eyes, but when those eyes saw Axel down on his knees and blood running down to pool in his collar bones, those eyes filled with shock. Roxas' hands jumped, one springing from Axel's hair and the other dropping the kitchen knife to clatter on the floor next to their feet.

_What have I done?_ Roxas' bewildered motions seemed to say.

Axel stared miserably up as he thought, _What have I missed?_

Roxas swore as his body fell into a half-standing crouch. He crumpled his nightshirt with one hand to press the fist of fabric to Axel's throat.

"I'm so sorry, I – I just..." Roxas apologized. His free hand went to the back of Axel's head but as if ashamed of how it had treated the hair it retreated to flop lamely at Roxas' side. Roxas' nerves were still on fire from the fright that had settled in his stomach when he heard the taps on his window. The thought 'they've finally come' had raced through his mind as breathing became harder under the blankets. From which side 'they' were from didn't really matter, all that did matter was how quickly he could retrieve the knife from under his pillow.

Roxas' head bent with the weight of so many emotions and images from the hard days that Axel hadn't been around for.

Axel tried pushing Roxas' hand away from his throat but the boy held fast to the injury he'd inflicted. Axel stopped pushing the boy away and instead he pulled him in closer. Roxas' belly, exposed because he had his shirt rolled up to push against the cut, came in contact somewhere close to Axel's face. Against his cheek he could feel Roxas' abdominal muscles trembling. Lightly his kissed the boy's navel and Roxas fell to his knees and embraced Axel.

* * *

><p>"You're a fucking liar," Axel snarled.<p>

The sun was just up and the purple bags under Axel's eyes were prominent in the rays that blazed through Xemnas' office window.

"How so, cadet?" Xemnas asked, expression blank.

"Everything you've said has been proven to be bullshit! I haven't gotten any better at protecting anyone. No one's safe and I haven't seen a side of the world that looks any good while I've been here," Axel said he paced before the General's desk. His eyes were always fixed on Xemnas, daring the man to deny what Axel was ranting.

"Has it been a lie?" Xemnas asked after a moment of contemplation. His yellow eyes attempted to pierce Axel but his rage was so thick Xemnas' gaze did little more than press against Axel's conscience like a knife against rock.

"I think I've made my opinion obvious," Axel said bitingly as he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. He'd been up for an entire day and the night had been particularly stressful. He and Roxas had sat on the bedroom floor, entangled in each other's limbs and strangled by thoughts they weren't quite sure how to put into words. It hadn't been the happy reunion he had thought about.

Xemnas watched Axel calmly and closely as the fiery young soldier sagging a little against the opposite wall.

"I haven't lied, Axel," his superior said softly.

"Really?" Axel asked scathingly when his exhausted mind drew a blank on any smartass remark that could be used.

"Yes, and before you call my words 'bullshit' I'd like you to think about what I have to say."

Xemnas paused to ensure Axel wasn't going to interrupt. Axel chuckled derisively and waved his hand to egg his superior on.

"You're right in a way. You haven't been protecting the ones you want to, however, the point of joining the Organization was not just to gain a personal strength but a numerical strength. You spent the last three and a half months under Officer Xigbar's watchful eye and I am certain that during that time you made quite a few loyal friends. I know you've never been the scholarly type, but rather an instinctive opportunist, so you must feel even if you don't understand, that you have added collected strength from your comrades. You work together now."

Axel's gaze took on a fixed keenness as Xemnas continued to speak.

"Now that you have a numerical strength and an intimate trust with those numbers, you can be away from those you wish to protect knowing that those who watch over your objects of affection would go to the grave protecting them because they are an extension of you. You would do the same for the ones you care for, correct?" and Xemnas' eyes flashed a question that seemed too sharp to chew over without bleeding some of his true feelings.

"Hell yeah," Axel replied with the smallest of shrugs.

"So, with numbers and of course your improved physical state, you have gotten stronger. You just have yet to test this strength."

"And that's where the lies come in," Axel protested, a lot calmer now, but with the same urgency. "You haven't been letting me do my job."

"By your 'job' you do mean protecting and preserving our way of living, correct?" Xemnas asked silkily.

"Yes, sir," Axel fired back with a small salute and a tense grin. Xemnas regarded him with narrowed eyes. Axel doubted either of them believed the others' polite words.

"Good, then I believe you would understand that I cannot allow inexperienced soldiers to perform difficult tasks, no matter how great their natural ability. We would lose numbers as well as morale. You are gaining experience now as you patrol the border that runs through that farm land. It's a very important task after all," the corner of Xemnas' eyes crinkled as though holding back a sneer, "it would be all too easy for an enemy patrol to sneak into our ranks across that land."

Axel felt as though Xemnas was waiting for him to say something; Xemnas seemed to be expecting Axel to reveal that he had witnessed dozens of enemy soldiers creep past the barns and haystacks and into Hallow Bastion territory. Axel wasn't that thick; he wasn't about to let enemies out of spite. Xemnas was right, at least partially. He cared about Hallow Bastion if only because his friends were there. His reason for joining might have been to ensure Roxas' safety, but if he could manage it, he'd want to make sure the others were okay too. Except for Saix. That coldblooded lunatic could go howl at the moon and get himself shot, for all he cared. Larxene could join him if she was having one of her bad days.

"So I haven't lied to you, I just haven't given you all that you want. And now, you are starting to receive more. The war is very close to its climax and you're just stepping into fire. Do you have enough faith and strength to begin at the most difficult point?"

Xemnas questioned Axel with that same insinuating tone that had hooked and challenged Axel at the beginning of his adventure.

"Well, you're the one who's been controlling my progress, so far. Shouldn't you know the answer?" Axel replied cattily.

Xemnas' smirk grew and he took interest in a report on his desk. Axel watched his superior's eyes peruse the document with tension in his spine.

"Go rest. You will patrol again tonight," Xemnas said with his eyes still trained on the paper.

Axel pushed himself off the wall and headed for the office door. He opened it to find Larxene closer to the door than he would warrant as a normal waiting distance. She was too tired to do more than sneer at the fact that Axel had caught her eavesdropping. She brushed past him and into Xemnas' office with her head held high.

Axel was just closing the door when Xemnas said to him with enticing finality, "Be prepared for sharp changes in your life, Cadet Axel. I believe your involvement will be greatly increased by the end of this month."

* * *

><p>Axel felt a little sorry for Demyx. The guy was out patrolling on a frosty fall night while Axel lay naked beneath the sheets with his very warm best friend in his arms. Funnily enough, he hadn't felt anything but a tight pleasure when he was buried deep inside Roxas and making the smaller boy cry out. Axel smirked as he thought that there were types of pain that sadistically and masochistically people willingly entered into.<p>

Roxas buried his fingers in the hair at the base of Axel's skull, pulling teasingly and kissing gently. With a laugh Axel tossed his head and caught the hand that pulled his hair. He ran his tongue along the scar and snickered when Roxas slapped him and tried to kick away from Axel. He gave up on holding his friend's hand and settled for lying on Roxas. His chin fit nicely enough at the base of Roxas' neck.

"How's Sora?" Axel asked seriously. He watched Roxas' Adam's apple bob once before answering.

"He's better. His fever's gone down and it looks like the infection is finally going away. It's been difficult for Naminé to heal him since the Organization's hanging around our farm," Roxas said with a sigh.

Axel lay in thought on Roxas' chest then he lifted himself up onto his arms and looked down at Roxas promisingly.

"We're here to protect you, Roxas. Sora too, we don't want any more accidents like your brother's," Axel bent his head to kiss Roxas' forehead. "I'm just thankful you weren't hurt."

"...and Sora was," Roxas said in a cracked voice as he lay unresponsively beneath Axel's kiss.

"Don't take it like that, Rox. All I mean is that I'm happy you're alive. And I know it's a grim thought but at least Sora had Riku there when he was shot. If it had been flipped, I wouldn't have been there and," Axel crinkled his nose and his hands pinched the pillow, "and that would have been a really shitty situation."

"Yeah..." Roxas murmured sadly. Unmindfully Roxas placed a kiss on Axel's cheek and continued staring blankly at the ceiling.

Axel frowned, not sure what to say next. The war was supposed to divide the towns, not friends. For some reason Axel couldn't spit on the Organization; they were doing so much to ensure Roxas' safety now and it was composed of his closest friends. Demyx was outside freezing his ass off, fully aware of the heat Axel was deep in. Even Larxene, the cold-hearted witch, had turned a blind eye to Axel's misconduct. A few mornings ago she had snapped at him to tuck in his shirt unless he wanted Xemnas to know how lucky he'd been last night. She didn't say it politely but she helped prevent suspicion.

Roxas' eyes looked puffy and he kept rubbing them. Axel shared a final kiss with Roxas and rolled out from underneath the covers to struggle back into his uniform. He had just zipped up his pants and was reaching for his shirt when the bedroom door opened.

"I noticed your light was on still and I just wanted to ask if Sora had seen Nami - " Riku began asking Roxas whose head snapped instantly towards the door and then to Axel, distress evident on his face. Riku caught sight of Axel dressing himself when his sentence cut off. With his arms halfway in his shirt and a cheeky grin on his face as Axel saluted Riku.

With a deft swiftness, Riku stepped in the room and closed the door silently. His eyes flickered about, concentrating on the window and then falling seriously back on Axel.

"What is he doing here?" Riku whispered harshly to Roxas.

The Roxas sat up in bed, blushing when Riku's eyes took in his nakedness. Axel found Roxas' shyness as amusing as Riku's temper. Axel mischievously ran a hand along Roxas' blanketed flank and nearly had his fingers snapped off. Riku didn't seem to find Roxas' modesty hilarious.

"What are you thinking?" Riku hissed.

"If Sora's allowed to have you over then I should be allowed to have Axel over. Fair's fair," Roxas said through gritted teeth as he looked down at his lap.

"Don't be stupid. You _know_ the difference in risk," Riku said as he came to stand before the ashamed boy.

Roxas finally looked up at Riku with a spark of defiance in his eyes that caused Riku to frown and shake his head. Riku's mother hen charade was beginning to lose its hilarity for Axel.

"Excuse me," Axel said lazily as he strode up to Riku, "but what the hell is going on?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Riku said, taking a step back from Axel.

"Alright, you caught me. I've been sleeping with Roxas in the hopes that you would walk in on us so I could question you," Axel said with his hands held up guiltily. He winked and Riku and added, "And all without pants on. That's just how we get things done in the Organization."

"Right, well I hope the fuck was amazing," Riku spat with stone cold eyes, "because it just might cost you your life."

"Is that a threat or a promise, babe?" Axel taunted.

Axel could see Roxas fidgeting on the bed. He probably felt the urge to get between the two opposing soldiers. Axel would have liked that even if Roxas didn't think it would have the desired effect if he was standing stark naked between the opposing soldiers.

Riku's fingers were clenched into fists and shook at Axel's smirking comment.

"Go back to your Hallow Bastion dogs, Axel, before someone else gets hurt."

"No thanks. I gotta make sure my Roxas is A-okay."

"Yeah? Well it's the same for me and Sora. If you really wanted to help Roxas you should just disappear. It was the Organization who shot Sora so thanks, Axel, you really helped us out there."

"Hey, that's enough! You know Axel wasn't there," Roxas interjected, his blush becoming a flush of anger.

"It's cool, let him have his temper tantrum. I guess it's part of Twilight Town's regiment to stick poles up their soldier's asses. Either that or someone's cranky 'cause his boyfriend's out of commission," Axel snapped.

Riku was quicker than Axel expected and got in a good blow to Axel's tattooed cheek. Axel put a hand to where he was hit and staggered backwards. Adrenaline sang so sweet and chaotic through his body it made Axel laugh. The laugh threw Riku off. He froze with his fist raised, staring wide eyed at Axel for a moment too long. Axel tossed his shirt from his arms and caught the boy around the neck then used his greater height and weight to force him down on his knees.

"Fucking army idiots," Roxas swore as he threw off the covers and slipped into his pants. "Axel, don't - "

"Shush, Roxas. Mommy and Daddy are having a chat about our little boys. Now, Riku," Axel said with sickening sweetness as he pulled Riku's hair behind his ear and whispered, "what is it that makes you think your side is any better than mine?"

"Y-you haven't seen what your higher ups do. How m-my home's been changed, even-even the people," Riku chuckled in a strangled way with Axel's arm constricting his throat. "You have no _fucking_ clue how cruel t-the Organization is. Y-you'll see soon and you'll w-wish you'd been o-on the other side."

"Oh really?"

"In Twilight Town, we pull the trigger because we want to. Y-you pull it because you're just one part of the Organization's body a-and don't even pretend that you're the brain," Riku huffed, his face red with lack of oxygen. His knees began to quiver with the stress and weight of Axel's body.

"Axel, enough!" Roxas barked and slammed his hip into Axel's crouched body. Farmhand or not, after months of climbing, running and Axel swore sometimes Xigbar had them dancing, Roxas' hip-check didn't budge him. Axel let Riku go with a goodbye shove.

"Yeah," Axel said disdainfully and straightened up, "I've had enough too."

Riku just _tch_ed, rolled his shoulders like he was shaking off Axel and left the room with just as much silence as he'd entered.

"You've gotta go Axel. Your patrol will get suspicious," Roxas said quickly as he shoved Axel's shirt into his arms with shaky hands.

"It's just Demyx. He doesn't care," Axel said casually but shrugged his shirt on all the same. Axel felt more in the mood for banging heads than snuggling now.

"You were going to leave anyways," Roxas reminded him.

"That was before Twilight Twat brought his attitude into your bedroom. Only I get to bring attitude into here. He was pissing on my territory."

Roxas' lips twitched into a grin for a brief second, but with the blush and anger drained from his cheeks he just looked grey and sick. Axel sighed as he put a hand on Roxas forehead and a kiss on his lips before pushing the boy onto the bed.

"Go to sleep now or I'll have no incentive to leave."

Roxas wormed his way under the blankets and watched Axel switch off the light and open the window to swing his body outside. The moon was only a sliver in the sky and its light reflected its slim shape. With his black coat and gloves, Axel looked like he was made out of the fabric of the night. The only part of him that wasn't swallowed in darkness was his vivid, green eyes locked onto Roxas' face. The window seemed to close by an extension of the night.

Axel's departing look would have been eerie if Roxas didn't know that Axel's eyes were silted out of worry for Roxas' sake. He turned over in his bed and buried his face in the pillow. His stomach roiled and he fought the urge to cry and crack his knuckles against the wall. What was more infuriating about the guilt that made him want to do those actions was that he didn't feel sorry that he had stolen this time with Axel, but he guessed he probably should.

* * *

><p>Back on the ground, Axel walked calmly around the barn, listening to the cows breathing and lowing every once in a while. He caught up with Demyx at the edge of a small copse.<p>

Demyx looked puzzled to see Axel and asked, "What are you doing out so early?"

"Roxas needs his beauty sleep. Guess I tired him out," Axel said with a shrug and they continued to walk beneath the trees, feet crunching quietly on the frost. "Damn it's cold."

"Yeah, that's one thing I know. And did Roxas really drift off peacefully?"

"Yup. The bastard's curled up and fast asleep by now. Why d'you ask?"

"No reason other than the fist size welt on your face," Demyx quipped. "Roxas is little but he's got spirit _and_ a way with you. Did you mouth off one too many times?"

"Either you've got good vision or he got me pretty good," Axel said as he rubbed his cheek and ducked under a low hanging branch. "Wasn't Roxas though. Sora's boyfriend decked me when I mouthed off to him."

Demyx stopped short and his head whipped around comically to stare bugged eyed at Axel.

"You were with Sora _and_ his boyfriend _too_?"

Axel laughed and cuffed Demyx on the back of his head.

"Nah, just Riku and definitely not in an enjoyable way. That Twilight Turd was just starting shit tonight."

"That sucks. Man, and here I had hoped _one_ of us would have a good night," Demyx sighed and a white puff passed his lips as the temperature dropped.

* * *

><p>Axel had had a couple days off to catch up on sleep, but those days weren't all that restful. He spent them mainly walking the streets of Hallow Bastion as he had in his training days, the only difference being he wasn't in uniform now. He definitely thought about visiting Roxas but it would be easier and quicker to learn how to fly rather than exit and enter the town. Because of the blockade the streets were no longer bustling and store windows grew grey with dust.<p>

Axel was bumming around outside what used to be a bakery but was now boarded up and only faintly smelt of bread and spices. He was lazing on the steps, bored out of his mind. With his head in his hands he took the time to think about what he would be doing if he wasn't in the Organization. Definitely not work. No one seemed to work these days other than Xemnas' dogs. Hiding? Nah, things weren't that bad, not like in Twilight Town. Word among Saix and his group of higher up was that Twilight Town's walls had been breached by Organization members and bullets actually bustled in those streets.

Axel lay back on the steps, arms crossed behind his head and eyes closed as a smile came to his lips to mark a wonderful thought and daydream. He'd probably be hunkering down with Roxas. Yeah, he'd have brought Roxas to Hallow Bastion and they'd make the best of a bad situation. Instead of food rations being eaten for energy to patrol streets and to kick teeth in, they'd eat only when they had drained each other. Every morning Axel would sit on the edge of his own bed instead of the cots at headquarters, and Roxas would wake with Axel's stirring. He could feel the little blonde's fingers, warm from being under covers, creeping into his hair. Roxas' lips would be folding over Axel's earlobe and a sleep husky voice with warm breath would be saying –

"Axel, General Xemnas wants you. Will you accompany me to headquarters?" Zexion asked as he stood over Axel.

"I thought I was off?" Axel groaned as he straightened up and leered at Zexion.

"That may be true as of yesterday but every day is a new day. Your safety is an ever-changing and conditional state that needs to be kept, it doesn't take a day off," Zexion replied like he had read it off the page of a textbook their superior had written.

"Geez, you sure I'm not talking to Xemnas right now?" Axel snickered and Zexion just smirked.

* * *

><p>"Are you scared, Axel?" Larxene taunted and pinched Axel's cheek.<p>

"Sure. Who wouldn't be with a crazy bitch like you holding a gun?" he retorted and turned his face away from her. He still had a bruise from where Riku had decked him and Larxene didn't know how to be gentle. Still, they stuck close together and tried not to banter to loudly.

They were both scared. They stood on the outskirts of Twilight Town, the dawn light slowly creeping up before their eyes. In the dark the buildings and houses had looked like imposing boulder-esque forts. With the pale, grey light Axel could see how much more akin to rubble and pebbles the town looked. The Organization had ravished the place like a wolf might a rabbit.

"Don't be fooled," Saix said calmly as he stood at the head of the patrol, "We've done great damage to the structures but the people are more resilient. Their walls might have fallen but not their strength. Come."

Saix led them through the crumbling walls, the patrol devoid of talking except for Marluxia who whispered tactics and information to the newest soldiers.

"If you become wounded, head for the edge of town. We have medics waiting in trucks out of range. Do not panic if you get separated from your allies. We will meet up at - "

"Goddamn it, I know!" Larxene hissed at Marluxia as he hovered near Axel's shoulder relaying information. Her tone and angered features sounded and looked as though she did know, but her shaking hands betrayed her. Larxene's fear didn't make Axel's stomach feel any better.

Marluxia grinned and a patronizing expression graced his face. His lips parted, about to reply, when Saix ordered everyone to hit the ground. Unfortunately the sun that peeked through the buildings as the morning came, fell in the Organizations eyes making targets or sources for the concrete-chipping bullets impossible to see. Axel, Larxene and Marluxia fell in a tangled mess in the glass and rubble filled alleyway. The glass sunk into Axel's arms and legs when he ducked, but as long as no other injuries happened he wasn't going to complain. Larxene did.

"Get the fuck off me!" she snarled, lashing out at Marluxia and Axel who were sprawled on top of her. She did manage to stand up and was lucky enough to still have her gun in hand for a handful of opposing soldiers rounded the alley corner.

As Marluxia and Axel rolled to their knees, Marluxia yelled Larxene's name and ordered her to fire. She did and with the bodies of the Twilight Town Regiment slumping depressingly to the ground they were saved.

* * *

><p>"Fuck!" Axel growled as he tossed his empty gun to the ground. He zigzagged through weary streets, perused by a man whose gun was still able to spit at Axel's fleeing back. He could hear the splintering sounds of rounds gnawing into the wooden skeletons of houses that no one would dare call home.<p>

Axel took a sharp right and an even sharper stop as he pressed himself against a crumbling brick wall and waited for the growing, quick footsteps to reach him. His fingers shook a bit when he slipped the knife out of his belt, but his arm was determined and swift as he flashed it across the other boy's throat as he took the sharp right and ended up splayed at Axel's feet.

"Dammit..." Axel whispered as he leaned against the wall. One hand was on the knife salivating blood as it hung at his side and the other was trembling to the time of his quivering heart upon his chest. The man at his feet was writhing still, the wound deep enough for a death, but not an immediate one. The gasping sound he was making reminded Axel of a drowning man's gurgle.

Axel got down in the dirt on his hands and knees and gave the blade and the man what they wanted. He was no longer drowning.

* * *

><p>The stars had their cold gazes fixed on the Organization members that slunk through the streets. This area of town still had houses with four walls, though riddled with little holes and few with lights on inside them. Axel and Larxene circled Zexion with guns pointing outward, the cold metal pressed to their cheeks and breath billowing.<p>

"Are we headed the right way, Zex?" Axel asked, peering between houses before actually stepping in front of any openings.

"Yes, I believe so. However, I may be headed for the completely wrong location. This is a mission for information after all. If I had all the information then there would be little point to this excursion," Zexion said steadily, looking upwards for any shadows flitting along rooftops.

Larxene snorted and said snootily, "Don't get cocky, bookworm. We're the ones covering your ass _after all_. Just 'cause Xemnas has given you some special task doesn't make you a hero."

"I agree, Larxene, and I would also say the same goes for you," Zexion said calmly.

It was a mark of how strict the Organization's training methods were that Larxene didn't blow Zexion's head off. It was probably for the best since Xemnas had warned them about wasting supplies, especially bullets or guns. It still surprised Axel that she didn't bitch, threaten, or beat Zexion. She didn't even take her eyes off of their path or the narrow jogs where enemies could be lurking. Her lip just curled and she told Zexion to snoop out the enemies' actions like a good, little nerd.

They continued on, deeper into enemy territory. Once they came upon a Twilight Town patrol, but they were able to quietly duck inside an abandoned shop. They weren't noticed and after a ten minute wait they continued on their merry way.

"If there are guards patrolling then we are definitely getting closer," Zexion said, no trace of fear in his voice.

"What exactly are we looking for?" Axel asked curiously. All Xemnas had said was good job on the battlefront now you're going to play hide 'n seek with the enemy.

"I can't disclose that information," Zexion said delicately, probably because Larxene would have something to say about his secretiveness. And she did.

"That's bullshit. If we're guarding you don't you think we'll find out what you're looking for? Axel and I might be the muscles of our little playgroup but we don't have shit for brains."

Zexion hushed her and made a motion with his hand for them to stop. He then stepped into an alcove made of rubble and motioned for his companions to follow. Axel and Larxene shared a curious look before Axel shrugged, Larxene rolled her eyes and they followed Zexion into the hiding spot.

"We're very near now," Zexion said in a hushed tone, his eyes reflecting the moon with a cunning gleam. "And you make a valid point that I will address now. This is where we separate."

"_What?_" Larxene hissed.

Axel just watched Zexion with a trained gaze. Something interesting was going on in his friend's head.

"Your mission was to bring me into enemy territory. My mission is a classified matter," Zexion explained. "It will be a lot easier for one to act as infiltration than for three. Also, I've been told to relieve you when I've reached my goal. Two Organization members hanging around in enemy territory is bound to be noticed. However, if you wouldn't mind reporting to Xemnas tomorrow morning that I made it here, that would be a help."

"Sure, Zex. Want me to do your laundry too?" Axel asked sarcastically. Zexion was lucky none of them had people skills otherwise Axel would call him out for being a brownnoser.

"Why don't we get to know?" Larxene harped on. "We've gone through the same training, we all joined together, and we've just put our safety on the line. How is this fair?"

"That's a very well constructed argument, well done, Larxene," Zexion said with a commemorating dip of his head.

"You're an ass. Why can't we know?"

"I have very specific orders not to tell anyone but Saix and the General. However, I can disclose one reason why I can't tell you," and Zexion lowered his voice, drawing Axel and Larxene's faces closer to hear his words. "There are traitors among us."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I'm doing better than I expected with updating. That or I just like lying to you guys. Comments, predictions and criticizms are, as always, appreciated. I'll try to get one more chapter up tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** How could I forget what 90% of all stories here seem to have? Although, I think everyone who views this page can probably guess that none of the characters are mine. Thank you Tetsuya Nomura and Square Enix for their creation.

* * *

><p><strong>Agony and Irony<strong>

It took Axel and Larxene a lot longer to exit Twilight Town than it did to infiltrate it with Zexion. By the time the sky lightened to greyish purple, they found it a lot harder to go undetected. Axel was forced to split from her when a patrol spotted them near the edge of town. Their immediate split seemed to confuse the Twilight Town soldiers and Axel had made his way quickly into the maze of destroyed houses. He was currently hunkering down in someone's ruined backyard. He didn't give a damn about exterior decorating but was thankful the owner had planted two large leafed bushes for him to hide in. He wasn't sure how many people had been in the patrol, but he knew there had to be more than two because several voices had chased him through houses and yards. He could still hear them searching a few lawns over. Their uniforms' caps with the three pronged crown emblem above the bill could be seen over the neighbours' bushes but Axel couldn't hear the words they were exchanging. Whatever, he didn't care. It was up to Zexion to find shit out, he was just here because...

Axel drove his knuckles into his temple and laughed grimly to himself. Why the hell was he here? Over the past couple weeks he'd been rolled in and out of Twilight Town, never really accomplishing anything. At least nothing he wanted to. He hadn't had time to think. He'd been thrust into the war so suddenly and instinct, he supposed, just took over and kept him going. Why was he going in the first place?

His laugh became a choked off sound and he fell onto his ass in the bushes. He hadn't seen Roxas since the night he and Riku had fought and the thought sent a shooting pain from his head to his heart. What was he _doing_? He was crouching in some poor SOB's backyard with bullet shattered plant pots and chipped garden gnomes. He'd killed a man...Axel's mind veered from those memories and stared at the immaculate bone of his skull. He was Roxas' lover, not a john's killer.

Axel raised his head to survey the area. The caps were bobbing back the way they came. Axel waited another couple minutes in the bushes then got to his feet and had another look around. There was no one in sight so he ran as stealthily as he could to the edge of Twilight Town and followed the sun in its slow course to the west where Roxas was probably waking.

* * *

><p>When he neared the farmland Axel took off his Organization coat and balled it under his arm. He would have liked to have taken off the shirt altogether but it was fall and, though he had run the whole way there, his skin was already goose bumping in the cool breeze.<p>

Out of habit he began heading for the back of the house, but with a derisive chuckle, headed for the porch. He dropped his balled up coat to the ground and kicked it under the deck before sauntering up the steps. Let the rats and spiders nest in it, so long as Axel could nest with Roxas he really couldn't care less.

The screen door was the only barrier in Axel's way. Through it he could see a window at the end of the hall steadily lighting the staircase with an orange hue, but for the most part the hallway was dark. Axel found it a little odd that Roxas would leave the door open and unlocked with only the screen as protection. Then again, no door could hold back the will of a hateful person. Or a gun.

Axel rapped on the screen and waited with his hands tucked in his pants pockets and eyes fixed on the hallway. There was a clatter in the kitchen, as if someone had dropped a fork on the floor, then a cautious padding of feet on hardwood flooring. Axel saw the silhouette of a short boy with flipped hair peek around the corner. The silhouette crept from the kitchen and cautiously made for the door. About 8 ft from the door the silhouette perked with recognition and broke into a sprint.

"Axel!" Roxas barked.

Axel opened the door and strode over the threshold to pull Roxas into his arms and burying his face in the soft peaks of his best friend's hair. Roxas grunted softly, as the soldier's arms nearly cracked his ribs. Both boys' nerves were on fire and made movement seem cruder with jagged motions. They stood quietly for a while because neither had expected such powerful emotions to be felt when they saw each other. Like the rivers in winter, a thin film of ice hid the churning waters beneath and the ice was breaking now, oh they were sinking.

Axel lifted his nose from Roxas' head and opened his eyes. His shirt felt weird on his skin; he chest was incredibly warm where Roxas had rested his face. As Axel shifted to look down, Roxas' arms locked around his high back and crushed his face further into Axel's sternum.

"Hey, Roxas. Why are you crying?" he asked, his arms loosening as he tried to twist his head and body to get a good look at Roxas' face. He wouldn't let him and continued to constrict and compress Axel.

"I'm not crying," Roxas murmured.

"Like hell. My shirt's soaked and I know I didn't sweat that much as I ran here."

With his nerves in tatters Axel felt Roxas' shudder like the quaking a landslide. What had done this to Roxas? Axel's throat went dry as he wondered if this had something to do with Sora.

"You ran here?" Roxas asked, as his face still tried to nudge its way through Axel's sternum.

"Yeah. Roxas, why - "

"Why were you running?" Roxas interrupted, his voice cracking. Roxas was crying and his hands were locked so tight behind Axel's back that he swore Roxas' fingers had ground away their skin and were linking bone with bone.

"I asked you a question first. You answer me and I'll answer you. Why are you crying?" Axel asked playfully but firmly. When Roxas just rolled his shoulders Axel pushed the boy from his chest. He swore he heard the scrape of bone as Roxas' fingers unlaced behind his back. Roxas' head was hung low, maybe looking at his shattered spirits on the floor.

"Roxas," Axel prompted and lifted Roxas' chin up. When Axel's eyes met Roxas' red, puffy ones the blond boy cried out a curse and clutched at the back of his head. He almost seemed to shy away from Axel, to crouch and crinkle his spine as though the taller boy's gaze had withered him. What had could possibly tear him down like this?

"C'mon. Please just tell me. Roxas...please."

"You've come to say goodbye!" Roxas said in a strangled way. As if the words had caused a physical impact, Roxas leaned against the wall, face low. He slapped his hand against the wall as he said emphatically, "You're saying goodbye because you don't think you'll be coming back from where you're going. You're leaving."

Axel crossed his arms and blinked a couple times, though it did little to make things any clearer. He moved closer to Roxas who ashamedly dabbed at his eyes and snarled out that he was fine. If it were true that Axel was leaving, that Axel was – he shouldn't be the one crying. No one should be. They should make the most of their time now because there were too many indications that the future would never come.

"Where did you get a silly idea like _that_?" Axel asked in a calm, but none the less shocked manner.

Roxas sighed and rubbed roughly at his eyes, only making them sorer.

"Riku said a goodbye to Sora yesterday. He said he might not be coming back or that he might not deserve to come back," Roxas said with his head bowed so low Axel thought his chin might sink into his chest. "Sora tried to follow him but he only reopened his wound so Riku said he'd bring medicine tomorrow, but bandages and drugs aren't what Sora wants! Says they're not what he needs. It was really..._horrible_. I was up all night with my brother and I tried to get him to sleep but...he just fell asleep now. He kept saying he had to go. I felt horrible for stopping him. Just before he fell asleep he said 'I hope this _never_ happens to you' and when I saw you at the door, worn out and tired, and you were holding me, I thought never was happening, that you were - "

Axel put his hands on Roxas' shoulders and the boy stopped speaking. He kissed Roxas' lips and tasted sadness and fear in the cooling tears that seeped from the blue of Roxas' eyes.

He said between firmer kisses, pressing the message in more, "I'm not interested in saying goodbye."

"Then what are you doing now? This feels like a message," Roxas whispered hoarsely. His body tensed and his tears stopped. His mind and emotions were waiting for the trigger from Axel's words. After a night spent in a room with a sole dim light while his brother cried on his shoulder, Roxas felt like he wanted to tear something to pieces or run. Maybe being with Axel wasn't a bad middle ground if he was here to stay.

"Really? Well I've never been gifted with wordiness so that'd make sense. I'm not saying goodbye, I'm saying 'hello, babe. I've missed you.'"

Roxas hung on Axel like a piece of cloth snagged from the current by a branch. For some reason though, Axel was the one feeling damp. Roxas vied with his thoughts of running or tearing and instead of doing either he put the energy of both into kissing Axel. He felt better working his lips against Axel's and a great deal of pain leaked out in the frustration he felt as he pressed and pulled at Axel. Their feet danced in a graceless, sidestepping way as they both tried to find surer footing against the other's wave. Roxas hissed in pain when Axel's boot came down on his bare toes and, somewhat by accident, he bit Axel's lip.

* * *

><p>At the top of the stairs, looking down on his brother and Axel, was Sora. He took in the scene where Axel shrouded Roxas with his body, watched with tears in his own eyes as Roxas cried into Axel's shirt and now, with bleary eyes and hobbling steps, he turned away. He retreated to his room where he sat stiffly on his rumpled blankets. On a chair by the bed lay a small pile of clothes, the shell of Riku's military career. Sora picked up the shirt of Riku's uniform. He managed to slip his nightshirt off and got his good arm in the one sleeve, but the wounded arm refused to bend or lift with the puffy swell of the infection. He sighed and flopped back on the bed with Riku's shirt covering his face. He almost convinced himself that he was still asleep and Riku's shirt was actually his long, silver hair on his face. It wasn't too hard to imagine since his fever liked to blur reality with memories. What broke the illusion was the sound of Roxas and Axel thumping clumsily up the stairs. They paused on the landing, at the top of the stairs, along the wall outside Sora's bedroom and all Sora heard was heavy breathing and groaned words. Riku wasn't in bed with him. Beneath the shirt Sora smiled bitter sweetly, hoping that Riku would be back to hold him just as closely and kiss his roughly against his bedroom wall.<p>

* * *

><p>The next day, in the early morning hours, Axel was back in Hallow Bastion to give his report of the night he spent guarding Zexion's ass. He had a pleased grin on his face as he walked into Xemnas' office. He had no idea if Larxene had made her report for him, but his mind hadn't been anywhere near work the day before. Xemnas didn't look aggravated or surprised to see Axel. The General simply waited patiently behind his desk to hear Axel's report. There was very little to be said. Axel and Larxene had gotten Zexion where he needed to go and then they'd been told to take a hike. Xemnas just nodded slightly as Axel finished his very short and informal report. His grin became hard, not out of fear but out of frustration. Xemnas wasn't saying anything, good or bad, nor did he dismiss Axel which he wished Xemnas would do. There was no point in him being in that office if the General wasn't going to question why he'd been away from base for so long.<p>

Axel was just about to cattily ask 'and how was _your_ day?' when Xemnas said in his deep voice and slow manner, "You're making fine progress, cadet."

Axel was able to hold back his disbelieving snort but not his eye roll. The praise sounded very hollow but perhaps that was just Xemnas.

"Thank you, Superior," Axel said sarcastically and even bowed his head a little.

"You've seen the battlefront and you know how close we are to overtaking the enemy. All the Organization needs is a flame to light the explosion. I'd like to think that the training camp group you were a part of has some exceptionally vigorous soldiers. However, we can't just allow a fire to burn on its own. It would engulf too much and burn itself to ashes. I can't do anything with ashes, no one can. So...I need to know I have your compliance."

"With all due respect, sir, are you calling me the traitor?" Axel asked boldly and disrespectfully.

Xemnas surveyed him with those strange, yellow eyes.

"No. What I am saying is that you need to look before you leap because there are others bound to you that have no choice but to follow in your descent. And yes," his lips perked cruelly at the corners, "that includes those who are not marching faithfully at your side when you need strength the most."

"I'll keep that in mind next time I'm standing on something very tall," Axel replied.

Xemnas seemed to grow bored of Axel's attitude and Axel felt accomplishment in that. Xemnas shuffled papers on his desk and ignored Axel for a moment before dismissing his soldier.

"You may go rest for a few hours but just before noon you will be a part of a mission that will most likely result in the end of the war."

Axel couldn't help the excitement that forced his eyes open and slackened his crossed arms.

"Wait. Like the actual end? Like no more bullets and blood?"

"Yes but just because the bullets will cease soon doesn't mean there won't be blood now. I need you to be strong. Can you do that, soldier?"

* * *

><p>Axel guarded the rear of the patrol much like the night before. The only difference was the sun was groggily hanging over the western horizon and there were two more people in the patrol. Saix, the smug bastard, headed the group while extracting information from Zexion. Lexaeus accompanied the group as extra muscle. Larxene doubled back to walk next to Axel, matching his pace with perfect ease.<p>

"Scared now?" she asked.

"Hell no, Larxene. In fact one might say I'm excited," he replied honestly.

"Oh? Did you grow a spine or did you just plunge a little deeper into stupidity? God, you sound like a naive boy playing soldier," she hissed.

Axel didn't take too much offence from her barb, he just wanted to get this mission over with and settle the war. After that he'd feel safe enough to leave the Organization and return to Roxas.

"I don't think wanting this war to be over is cowardly, naive, or stupid. If you call it cowardly then I'd say you're the one who needs her head examined. We can stop fighting and killing one another _and_ go home. I know it's hard for your frigid heart to grasp but I'm not here for blood, I'm here to protect the people I care the most about," he said as their boots crunched glass in the silent street.

The streets were silent because Xemnas and the rest of his top dogs were raising hell in Twilight Town's centre. That fight had started about an hour ago and the screams and blasts could be heard distantly in the desolate neighbourhood Axel's party traversed.

"Whatever," Larxene said, shrugging Axel off and stalking to Zexion's other side.

Axel was surprised by her quick submission and regarded her curiously as she walked away. Maybe she didn't want the war to end but by the slightly grim look on her face, he suspected that wasn't the case. When she caught him staring at her she glowered and Axel turned away with a smirk on his face.

"We're here," Zexion said and the group halted in the shadow of an abandoned house.

"What the hell? We were here a couple nights ago!" Larxene commented and shared a confused look with Axel who nodded his agreement.

"I retrieved all the information I needed and made certain of the location," Zexion replied.

"Oh so do we get to know the secret now?" Axel teased.

Zexion didn't answer but looked to Saix who stepped into the centre of the group. Saix surveyed Axel and Larxene with a cool, contemplative look as if he was playing a game of chess and they were the pieces he was trying to decide where to move. With a final look at Axel who egged him on with a cocked eyebrow and crossed arms, he said, "This is somewhat of a recovery mission. The Organization's structure has been weakened at the bones due to the leak. General Xemnas would very much like the information back."

"So Xemnas wants his dogs to play fetch? Fine by me but who's to say the info hasn't already been sold and spread? How do you plan on getting _that_ back?" Axel asked.

Saix grinned at him but Axel found any smile from Saix to be disturbing; his smile was much more like a grimace rather than an expression joy.

"If that's the case then we will forcefully trade the bones of the Organization for the blood of the enemy. Either way, we will recover the same weight of what we had stolen," Saix replied, his lips drawn into an almost canine snarl.

"Then what needs to be done?" Axel asked.

Saix nodded, agreeing with Axel's consent. He nodded to his soldiers in turn as he gave out instructions.

"Axel, you will be the procurer of information, Larxene will be your back up and guard inside the facility. Lexaeus and I will be stationed outside the building to ward off any attacks. Zexion will go with Axel and Larxene to identify the objective. Any questions?"

"None that would be appropriate for the situation," Axel said with a shrug. He couldn't help but notice how his gut seemed to knot itself with every forward step he took. By the end of the day he guessed he'd be such a mess on the inside that his innards may not be recognizable as human or any other species.

"Then Zexion, you will lead them out whenever you are ready," Saix said to Zexion who nodded and moved to the font of the group to stand just at the edge of the shadow, waiting for Larxene and Axel to accompany him.

As Axel stalked past Saix, casually ignoring the intense look the scarred man was giving him.

"There are more ways than one to commit treason. Leaking information, sabotage and disregarding orders. What one often forgets is that sympathizing with the enemy can lead to all three of those actions. Do not let your guard down. The enemy may be before you but your comrades are at your back. Remember, if you betray your comrades they are behind you..." Saix said ominously.

The senior officer's ambiguous words hung in the air like wispy smoke. Axel brushed the words away with a wave of his hand as he followed Zexion out of the shadows. The words did strike him when he saw what their goal was to be and for all her cold-heartedness, Larxene voiced her disbelief in a low cuss.

Zexion had gone to crouch below a window around the corner of the building they were to infiltrate. There wasn't anything special about the structure itself, in fact it looked to be an abandoned preschool with a wretched pile of metal rusting in the front; the remains of a playground. He doubted any child had gone there for education in the last year and a large part of his heart hoped there were no children in there and not just because they were to be attacked soon. The white medic's flag above the doors would mean any child that entered there would be a doubly unlucky victim today.

Most of the windows were boarded up but the double doors were open to allow for easy access for medics carrying in the wounded and dying. At the moment the makeshift infirmary was silent but with the battle noises in the distance the place had a suspended air, like it had inhaled and was waiting to breathe again.

Talk about kicking 'em when they're down, Axel thought. He felt that there was something very, _very_ wrong with storming a place where people were already in pain, if not dying. Axel wasn't one to hold to rules but he wanted to call a timeout now.

"Zexion, what is this? Of all the places, why a hospital?" Axel hissed, crouching next to the other boy with Larxene at his shoulder.

"It's kind of a dick move," Larxene said, eyes flickering to the boarded window above them but there was no way to see in or out.

"I agree with Larxene and when that happens you know things are twisted," Axel said.

"This is the only place the spy frequents on a regular basis that isn't heavily guarded. And it seems to be a 'now or never' situation because I believe he's caught on to the Organization's awareness of him. This cannot wait," Zexion said fervently.

Now Axel was suspicious. Zexion didn't seem nervous but the slight finicky motions told of some rigid emotion in his friend. Eagerness didn't seem like the right word but it was the best thing Axel could come up with.

"I've been working on this for the past two weeks and I'm so close to achieving this goal. I'm sure you've heard the rumour that this could end the war?" Zexion asked, turning his head to look at the both of them. Axel and Larxene nodded. With even more confidence he continued, "It very well could. That's why it is imperative that you perform this task to the best of your ability."

"But a hospital? Man, it was even a preschool...it just seems wrong to leave bullet casings in a sandbox," Axel said as he regarded the sad play area.

Zexion lost some of the energy of his movements and stared at Axel with cooled eyes. In a flat voice he said, "You heard what Saix said. He believes there are other traitors in the Organization and he, and Xemnas of course, are not interested in reasons. Not only that, but the General has crippling information on every member. He knows very well where to apply pressure and he knows no bounds. I think you have already deduced this."

At a subtle nod from Zexion, Axel glanced over his shoulder to see Saix in the shadows, waiting for them to move. His eyes were hooked into Axel's skin and he felt little pieces of his sanity being reeled away.

Axel snorted a sigh and said dryly, "I don't like what you said and I don't like this situation. Just tell me what needs to be done so we can get the hell out of here."

Zexion nodded and the strange excitement came back to his eyes. Seconds later the trio had walked right in the front doors with their weapons aloft and, by Zexion's guidance, stopped at a doorway at the end of the hall. Zexion pressed his ear briefly to the door and with a blink of his eyes, moved out of Axel's way so he could kick in the door. His foot connected and now he understood why so many doors along the street only held on by a single hinge.

There was a shriek and a flurry of movement before Axel and Larxene walked in yelling commands to stop, to sit, to be silent. The room was small, which Axel was thankful for, but they weren't alone. Two nurses crouched on the floor while covering someone. One of them was blonde and petite. Naminé, Axel recalled and the other was a young woman with mahogany hair. Both nurses were covering a small group of children like birds drawing a protective wing over their nests. Axel turned away from them, his lips were drawn into a snarl but one that was meant for himself. Oh, Roxas would be so proud, he thought sarcastically.

He remembered very clearly how the dark haired nurse had let her gaze wander too freely. Her eyes flickered from a tray of surgical knives on a table before her and then to Axel. She had stretched away from the children who sent up a wail and caused Larxene and Axel to turn about. Larxene was nearer and quicker to react.

"Don't you fucking dare, bitch! I swear it'll be over for you in a second if you do."

"Axel, the target's been spotted. 3 o'clock, the man standing behind the desk," Zexion said calmly as he came to point to a figure at the back of the room. Axel raised his gun and turned to get the guy in his sights. He couldn't see their target's face, he was wearing one of the Organization's trench coats, but that didn't matter. What did matter was that he had his hands up and was yelling at Axel and his companions to hold their fire and he would comply. Axel made his way over swiftly and ordered the man down on his knees. He did bend under the threat of Axel's gun and didn't attack or run just as he said he wouldn't. Everything Axel did felt very mechanical and without feeling. He had a pretty good idea why.

Zexion had followed Axel across the room and was tying the man's hands behind his back while Axel held his gun to the hooded figure's head. The guy on his knees, hands tied and surrounded by enemies, laughed and Axel knew exactly why.

Zexion pulled off their prisoner's hood and Axel felt no shock when he and Riku locked eyes for a brief second before Zexion slipped a black bag over those ironic green eyes.

"Get your ass up," Axel said gruffly, poking Riku in the back. Riku snorted but got to his feet and walked out of the room with a muzzle of a gun at his back and the hands of his soon to be torturer leading him forward.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> chapter four, paragragh thirty-nine - yeah, I actually don't know the exact place in the story, but a couple chapters back I said there was a hint. Well, the hint refered to Riku and it was subtle, I think. My editor caught it, sort of. Her exact words were "Damn, the man is hot in black."

The hint was that Riku laid his coat over a wounded Sora and it was a black coat stereotypical to the Organization. To be fair, I haven't said much about the Twilight Town Regiment's uniforms so if you didn't catch it then you're not missing much. Except for my nonexistant descriptions of course.

I'll get back to any comments or questions once I get internet access again.

Anything else...? My _u_ and _o_ buttons don't always like to work so I'm sorry if my sentences are awkwardly lacking letters. The u button is especially bad.

I'm gone for a week now so don't expect another update until Sunday the 28th at the earliest. Thank you for reading and sorry for making you wait!


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** One: I'm within internet range again and I am excited to put out some more chapters! Two: I have to give my warmest thank you to all you wonderful readers. To those who review, thank you for reaching back to me. I don't know, posting stories is kind of like sending up a flare in the night and your reviews are like a responding flare or a boat's horn. So thank you for your time and patience.

* * *

><p><strong>Empty Your Gun<strong>

Axel knew he'd have to escort Riku to Hallow Bastion, lead him through his town's gates, be stared at quizzically by Demyx, and feel shame and anger roil in his stomach as he did all that. He knew he would have to push Riku into a cell that would warrant no warmth from its passive grey walls. He knew would have to take the bag off the boy's head and when he did, he did not look away. Both soldiers stared at each other, eyes hard, one boy on his knees with his hands tied as the other stood and slid the barred door closed. What Axel didn't know but assumed was that Riku's bold face was just as much of a lie as his own. The boy was a bug, pinned and wriggling. All his outer strength would be tested. Axel felt like a bug too. Something slimy that thrived in the dirt and ate shit. He was starting to think that the Organization members were less than dogs.

He walked away with Zexion to meet up with Saix so they could give their report to Xemnas. He left Riku to sit against the wall with his head bowed.

Saix and Larxene were being seen out of the General's office by the General himself. Upon catching sight of Axel and Zexion, Xemnas called them forward. He congratulated Zexion on his swift intellect and Axel on how calmly he had handled the situation, as reported by Saix. Zexion didn't exactly glow with praise but he nodded gratefully at the acknowledgement.

Axel was a wall. None of the praise actually penetrated him and he didn't supply any response save for the fire raging behind the glass of his eyes. Xemnas noticed Axel's stormy disposition but made no comment, unless Axel counted the way his superior's lips curled at the corners.

Axel decided he really didn't want to listen unless Xemnas was dismissing him so he looked away from his general. Saix and Zexion were engrossed with talk about possible plans of action with Xemnas while Larxene leaned against the wall moodily. She was hunched as though some emotion was bending and twisting her. Her body was cloaked in shadow save for her face which Axel couldn't see because she was turned away from him.

Minutes later, Lexaeus reappeared with Vexen and Marluxia at his side. There was more chatter about what was to be done with Riku.

"I suppose the prisoner is under my sector?" Marluxia asked Xemnas who nodded.

"Yes, Marluxia. Seeing as you are head of the Information Sector, pressing the boy for knowledge will be left to you and the members who work for you," Xemnas said, his eyes slipping over Vexen and Zexion. "I would advise you to start the questioning off with Vexen's expertise. Perhaps Zexion could also be present in order to learn more. Cadet Zexion has proven himself to be a great procurer of knowledge."

Axel was quick to catch Xemnas' glance in his direction. Xemnas turned away to look to Zexion and Axel followed the General's gaze. He knew then by the map of secretive stares that in some unspoken way Zexion had betrayed him. Axel let out some of his pent up emotions in a snort and leaned against the wall.

"Marluxia, I would advise you to assign a guard while the questioning is occurring. The prisoner has had both Organization training as well as training with the enemy. We can also assume that he's very skilled at keeping himself alive seeing as we've been chasing him for months now," Xemnas' eyes flashed dangerously as he called Larxene's attention.

"Cadet Larxene perhaps would like to see how the Information Sector operates. It's unlikely that she already has an intimate knowledge of your work Marluxia."

Marluxia looked to Larxene as she turned away from the window. She seemed to be feeling as Axel was about the entire situation with how she was staring at Marluxia with contempt.

"I think Larxene ought to retire for the day, General. She appears to be...disgruntled," Marluxia turned to Axel, a sober expression on his face as he suggested, "Perhaps Axel would consent to be the overseer?"

"I would have suggested him second. Tomorrow morning you may start the questioning, Vexen," Xemnas said and headed into his office, allowing the soldiers to disperse.

With a quick exchange of words with Vexen and Zexion, Marluxia dismissed them and wandered over to Axel.

"Meet Vexen in his lab tomorrow morning, 8 o'clock sharp. Lexaeus will retrieve Riku and have him brought to you. All you have to do is make sure the boy does not escape."

"Sure thing," Axel said and pushed himself off the wall to stalk after the lab rats as they made their way to the sleeping quarters. Well, Vexen was a lab rat, but Axel wasn't sure what kind of rat Zexion was.

* * *

><p>Axel never really hated Riku but he hadn't ever felt much for the guy. Since the day in the barn it had been Axel and Roxas. Axel enjoyed Sora's company on those grey days when he would walk over to the farmhouse and discover his little friend was sick, but seldom did he interact with Riku. Yet now, for the first time in the ten years Axel had been aware of the silver haired boy's presence, he felt respect flood his body for Riku as he stoically took a seat in Vexen's chair and was restrained by the wrists. Though quite pale in the face, he gave no expressional hint of fear and he sat tall and still, probably aware of what was to come. Perhaps Axel should have learned more than how to make things explode in his brief chemistry class. If he had stayed in class he would have known exactly what Vexen was pumping into Riku's veins.<p>

Vexen sat on Riku's right and Zexion on his left. Both scientists seemed to be waiting for some sort of reaction. Axel watched from the corner, his weapon lowered. With a creep like Vexen pumping things into his blood he doubted Riku would be a threat.

Riku's head began to loll and a sweat broke out on his skin. He began shifting slightly and clumsily in the chair as though he was in the middle of a particularly vivid dream. When Riku's breath became slightly laboured Vexen began his true attack.

"Your name is Riku, correct?" Vexen asked and received a barely discernable 'yes' from the boy in the chair. Vexen nodded to Zexion who took out a notebook and pen from on top of a nearby table and cracked the book open. Vexen continued in a slow and clear voice.

"Your name is Riku, not Ansem as you claimed to be when you joined the Organization?"

"Not...Ansem," Riku huffed and Zexion scribbled in the notebook.

"Is it true that you were part of the Twilight Town Regiment when you registered with the Organization?"

"Y-yes."

"And have you always considered yourself a member of the Twilight Town Regiment even when acting on the Organization's orders?"

Riku smiled, though it came out through gritted teeth and he merely grunted his reply. Zexion scribbled anyways.

"And on whose orders were you acting as a spy?" Vexen asked.

Riku's head lolled and he just laughed. The scene wasn't violent or particularly disturbing but it made Axel's stomach clench. Riku's tongue might have been chemically loosened but he was conscious enough to know what questions he didn't want to answer. Vexen put two fingers to Riku's throat, checking the boy's pulse, and then turned his attention back to Riku's face with a frustrated grimace forming on his lips.

"On whose orders Riku?" Vexen pressed, his voice a little firmer. "Was it your King's order?"

Again Riku refused to respond and shut his eyes. He wriggled in the chair as if the seat were unbearably hot. Even from where Axel stood he could see the boy's face begin to shine with sweat and glow red. Axel crossed his arms and looked down at his chest. Riku's discomfort was making him squirm.

Vexen snorted and murmured something in a harsh whisper to Zexion. The boy put down his notebook and pen and stood to lean over Riku. With his thumbs and index fingers Zexion forced Riku's eyes open. Riku began to struggle and tried to twist his head out of Zexion's grasp but either Zexion had gotten stronger since the beginning of the war or whatever Vexen had plunged into Riku's blood was making him weak.

Vexen leaned closer to Riku's face, close enough to breathe the boy's air and spit it back down his throat. Axel had never liked Vexen and that had been apparent since he had put his one tidbit of high school science into practice in Vexen's lab. As he now sat on a table by the door, breathing scarcely due to the heavy emotions in his chest and the fire growing in his belly, he found that he could hate Vexen just as easily as he could hate the soldiers from Twilight Town. What really scrambled his mind was how he felt the same sort of mutinous emotions towards Zexion. They might not have been attached at the waist but they'd spent years in school in Hallow Bastion and months in the Organization walking the same path. Adding all his thoughts about the situation to the little he knew about Zexion's part in the mess, his feelings for the guy became a steady addition of resentment and a multiplication of suspicion. Yeah, Axel realized he'd paid even less attention in math class but that's because he focused a lot on himself. And his self was telling him that his gun would still fire if he pointed it at his comrades.

He locked his jaw and remained still as he listened. The questions that Vexen rained down on Riku yet glanced off him like the umbrella he was, shielding his friends and comrades.

"Where is your leader, Riku?"

Riku laughed and dug his fingernails into the wooden arms of the chair. His nails made horrible scrabbling noises that seemed all the more louder to Axel when he tried to ignore them.

"Where is your leader's quarters then?"

"N-no..."

"Are they within Twilight Town's borders?" Vexen hissed, becoming impatient.

Riku tried to laugh but it was cut short when he began to gag. Vexen took a moment to compose his features into an icy glare before saying curtly to Zexion, "Release his eyelids. We'll up the dosage."

Vexen drew more of the clear serum for the tiny bottle. The needle dripped its venom from the tip of its fang onto Riku's twitching lap. Axel fixed his eyes on the point as it disappeared beneath the boy's skin. Vexen's thumb chased the tip's path with the plunger. Riku grunted and his body seized. His fingernails made the scratching noise of a pinned animal's claws on unrelenting ground. The questioning started again.

"I know your mind is feeling a little fuzzy so you may nod instead of speaking if it's easier for you," Vexen said as he took his finger from Riku's pulse and rubbed at the spot where he had made the injection. Riku tried jerking his arm away, apparently having forgotten that his wrist was strapped down.

"Is your King still in Twilight Town?"

Riku turned his face away, a pained snarl on his lips. Vexen pulled Riku's chin back down and the boy's head hung as limp as the silver hair around his face.

"Was that a nod, Riku?"

When Riku's shoulders began to tremble Axel's fingers began curling tightly. He looked to Zexion who hadn't written anything in the notebook for a while. Agitation crept with scrawling, little legs under Axel's skin. Zexion was watching Riku's movements intently while seeming to note Vexen's motions as well. He always had been top in their class so why stop brownnosing now? Axel though vehemently.

Riku's head hung and he maintained his unresponsiveness. His fingers continued to dig into the wood but the rest of him was still.

Vexen sighed, his agitation very much present in the tone of his voice. Axel bet the frigid scientist liked it even less when his experiments disobeyed him.

"And he showed so much promise," he hissed coldly and pushed his chair away from Riku.

"May I try?" Zexion inquired lightly, causing both Axel and Vexen to stare at him heatedly. Axel couldn't believe a boy he had gone to school with actually wanted to participate in something like this. Axel didn't want to be in this lab let alone actually participate in his questioning. Axel let out a slow, hot breath and wondered how he didn't know that all these years the nerd in the corner had been more than innocently curious about the human mind.

"Marluxia may have allowed you in my laboratory but don't forget your rank, _cadet_. What makes you think you know any better?" Vexen said bitterly as he stood before Zexion imposingly.

Axel remained silent, a fly on the wall that was certain the shit would hit the fan. Zexion must have felt Axel's gaze for he glanced at the redhead briefly before replying coolly but respectfully to Vexen.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't believe I would be too bold in saying that I know more about this man than his closest friends."

"Is that so?" Vexen asked, unable to hide his surprise.

"I've been tracking his movements for the past couple months and..." Zexion hesitated when Axel leaned forward in anticipation. Zexion blinked and continued, "And upon learning that the prisoner frequents the farmhouse in no-man's-land, I was stationed on night guard there approximately two weeks ago."

'So that's who replaced me' Axel thought, the gears in his brain turning as the cogs fell into place. He wasn't sure he liked the mechanism they were forming.

Axel couldn't see Riku's face very well but he could see the boy's eyebrows crunch together as if Zexion's words had burrowed their way into his brain. Axel scratched the back of his neck, feeling awkward when he noticed his prisoner's face; it looked like Riku was trying not to cry.

"Very well. You may try. Just don't expect any results," Vexen said in a clipped voice as he picked up the notebook Zexion had been writing in and began looking over the notes and adding his own.

Zexion pulled his chair in front of Riku and leaned forward to speak to Riku's bowed head in a quiet but firm way. Axel casually made his way over to Vexen's work table to sit on the counter. Vexen gave him a sneering look, but as Axel yawned and pulled his gun into his lap, the scientist turned back to perusing the notebook with pursed lips.

"I have a couple questions that I would like to ask you but before I do, let us drop our false pretences," Zexion paused to let his words sink in.

"Firstly, let me say that I'm impressed that you made it far into our territory for so long without being detected. I'm intrigued by how well you maintained your presence in the Organization, especially knowing now what you think of the Organization's methods. You think we're cruel and very dark. We just might be, however," Axel guessed Riku was sweating due to whatever Vexen had injected into him because Axel's blood went cold at the frigid infliction in Zexion's voice as he said, "However, you fit in so well among us, Riku.

"We can't be so far from humanity if you can comprehend and imitate our ways. I know you hate the things you have done while under the Organization's cloak and I know how you feel. You feel fear. You are afraid that we are the worst side of humanity, and you fear that the Organization has brought out the worst in you."

Vexen had paused in his note revision when Riku's head rose a few inches. Axel noticed that Riku's complexion was gaunt despite the beads of sweat on his forehead. His eyes were red around the rims and his lips hung open in a slacked 'o' as his breath drew in narrowly and dropped from his mouth heavily. The lustre had left his green eyes but not the light. Axel couldn't help but feel a flicker of respect for the guy.

Zexion continued his speech in a whisper that sounded almost intimate, as if he had been with Riku during the events.

"I know the regret and heavy responsibility you carry in your heart because of the wound Sora received. It still hasn't healed you know and it's infected again. He tore the stitches trying to follow you. He's in so much pain, more than you are now."

Riku's throat made an odd sound, like his words were pieces of rusted metal scraping against one another as he tried to spit them out. Zexion paused to listen.

"N-no. You...you don't...know," Riku managed say.

With a serious face Zexion drew back and said, "I do know, Riku. I was outside the farmhouse last night. I saw Sora lying in bed, his light was still on as his brother pressed a rag to his wound. His bedroom's the one on the left if your back's facing to the East. He was asking where you were, when you would be back from Naminé with the medicine."

Riku let out a rusty gasp but with no words or syntax. Axel ground his teeth in empathy. He knew what it was like to know people with guns, people that could and had killed, were watching the ones you loved.

At the thought of Roxas, a question began pushing its way through the clutter of emotions the Organization had packed in his head. _Why-_ Zexion was speaking again.

"I have not done any harm in watching Sora, I have no intention to do so. There are others though..."

"No – leave him-!"

"He wants you now, even though you've been under the Organization's cloak, but will he want you back if his infection grows? Or what if the Organization's dogs scavenge his home? Sora lost his father some years back due to an accident on the farm, didn't he? He only has his brother now. What would happen if Roxas-"

"Zexion, shut the fuck up!" Axel snarled, no longer able to sit on the desk. His hands had risen naturally to cradle the gun at his waist, though he had no intention of firing it. It was ironic to think that Axel had raised the gun at the same time he jumped to Roxas' defence, both reactions natural to him now. If he had paused to think about what that might mean he might have tossed the gun aside and – and what? The only person to blame, to hit, to rant against was the idiot would couldn't remember _why_ he was here.

"You don't go there," Axel said in a calmer voice and swapped his gun for his finger to point at Zexion. "That's friendly fire, man."

"I had forgotten you were in the room, Axel. I apologize," Zexion said in a terse voice as he surveyed his enraged comrade.

Axel didn't like that apology and was about to ask what Zexion would have said if he hadn't been in the room, but Zexion's attention was latched back onto his prisoner. Riku's attention, however, was centred on Axel. He seemed to be posing a question with glaring eyes and all Axel could do to respond was pull his eyebrows into a delicately harsh 'v'. He had no answer, he wasn't even sure he'd gotten the question right.

"I think you understand the meaning in my warning," Zexion said calmly, trying to draw Riku's attention back in and pull his heart out. Riku's head began to lower again but he blinked at the sound of Zexion's voice.

"At the present, Sora is safe and will remain so for quite a while considering how lucky he has been so far. Two inches to the right and another two down and the bullet would have pierced his heart. And that bullet was shot without purpose. Imagine what could have happened if Sora were a marked man."

Riku snorted a little but he wasn't responding with the same amount of distress as he had been before.

"I think it's obvious enough that those who hold hands must stand close together and you are a marked man, Riku," Zexion said, his last words dropped like stones. "We can erase that mark in exchange for your King's whereabouts. The Organization would gladly offer you protection, as well as Sora. We have amazing healers on our side too. Sora would forgive any of the damage done to his arm. Imagine, Riku, you would be the man who brought relief to him. Is that not worth sharing a few words? Actions speak louder than words after all."

Riku's fingers were still digging into the wood and the sweat dripped from his nose as he bent low in the chair. His breathing had become a little more ragged as well. Axel stood almost directly before Riku, his eyes fixed curiously on the quaky movements of the silver haired boy's body. A word slipped past the boy's lips but its letters tumbled into a jumbled mess on the floor and no one could piece together what he had said so weakly.

"What was that?" Zexion asked as he leant his ear closer. Axel folded his arms and watched Riku carefully.

Riku chuckled grimly and with hands that decrepitly unhooked their nails from the arms of the chair and shook horribly against the restraints, he managed to raise his middle finger before his hand fell limply on the arm again.

"And we were finally getting somewhere," Vexen said brusquely while closing the notebook and glaring at Axel, who leaned casually back against the desk. Well, to Vexen it probably looked impudent, for Axel it was a crutch. He felt like parts of him that he needed to be able to stand tall had been ripped out just by watching this scene unfold.

"You take the prisoner back to his cell," Vexen snapped at Axel.

"Me?" Axel asked with mocked sincerity and pointed at himself disbelievingly.

Vexen, already frustrated by the uneducated mutt replied in a clipped tone, "Yes, _you_. Zexion, go with them. God only knows what that hot-headed menace might do."

With a last glare and huff at Axel, Vexen departed from the room, the notebook tucked under his arm.

Axel pushed himself away from the desk and moved to stand before Zexion as the boy rose from his seat. Zexion made a reaching motion with his hands towards Riku but they fell to his sides when Axel stood before him, hands on his hips.

"I think we can let Riku rest for a moment," Axel said as he looked down at his comrade.

"What do you want to know, Axel?"

"Wow! That was simple. And here I thought I'd have to threaten you. You're taking the fun outta my day, Zex."

Zexion pushed his chair out of the way and moved about the room, disposing the used syringes and putting bottles away. Axel took a quick peek over his shoulder at Riku who was still breathing heavily with his head bowed, but his fingernails were no longer biting into the wood. Axel supposed the boy had given up on fighting for control for the moment and let the serum runs its course. Axel's eyes snapped back to Zexion to follow him suspiciously around the room.

"There's no need to threaten me, Axel. We're comrades and it seems like Xemnas has permitted you to enter his inner ring if you were stationed here during the questioning," Zexion said in a tone that made Axel's eyebrows rise. Axel could care less about his accomplishments in Xemnas strange, yellow eyes, but Zexion's tone had a hint of what Axel though was jealousy. Yet, other than his few afflicted words he came to stand before Axel and continued on congenially, "I can tell you whatever you like. We can talk while we take the prisoner back to his cell."

Zexion lightly, pushed his way past Axel who refused to be cooperative as he stood with his back to Riku. He set his gun down on the desk, out of Riku's reach before he turned around to help Zexion undo Riku's bonds. He tensed with preparedness in case the Twilight Town boy tried to slip away. Quite the opposite happened. Riku's body slipped forward, his hands scrabbling for a hold and he grunted as his knees made contact with the floor. Axel caught the boy by the collar of his shirt before he was to slump face first on the ground.

"Zexion, what the hell did you give him?" Axel snapped shakily. He sighed as he knelt to get Riku's arm over his shoulder.

"It's a serum the works on a neurological level and causes - "

"I don't care how it works. Just get the door for me. This is not natural..." Axel huffed as he stood up with Riku's arm across his shoulders like a scarf and his own hand around Riku's waist like a sash.

Zexion went to the door, a slight grin on his face.

"This is not the worst part of interrogation," Zexion said ominously, "You will probably find that out first hand."

Axel ignored Zexion and instead quipped at the barely conscious Riku.

"Damn you're heavy. How the hell does Sora handle you?"

Riku let out a guttural noise that would be best described as a chuckle. Maybe the serum was making him delirious or now that he wasn't fighting it he responded a lot easier, but surprisingly he choked out, "S-same way you handle Roxas..."

Axel paused in his awkward walking and glanced sidelong at Riku. He should have paid more mind to what emotions he allowed himself to express seeing as Zexion, the apparent master at reading the map of the face, was watching closely from the doorway.

"Yeah, ya think so?" Axel asked quietly. Riku's only response was to sag further against him. Out of the corner of his eye Axel spied Zexion watching him in a puzzling way, so he bucked Riku up and headed out the doorway, more or less carrying the Twilight Town soldier.

* * *

><p>Axel guessed that Xemnas had been busy for the past day, what with finally capturing Riku and questioning him periodically throughout the night. He was still surprised that the man took an entire day to haul Axel's feisty ass into his office. Though he knew he would be in trouble for his outburst in Vexen's lab the day before, he smiled nonetheless at Xemnas who stared impassively back at him.<p>

After a moment of the one-sided grinning, Xemnas sighed.

"Now is the worst possible time for outbursts, soldier."

"My bad."

"From what Vexen reported the day before, you interrupted Zexion while he was questioning Riku. Your interruption may have caused us to lose time, lives and answers. What do you have to say to that?"

Axel swallowed what he really wanted to say and instead spat the crust of his thoughts at Xemnas.

"Roxas and Sora's land is not our territory. They aren't part of the war so Zexion shouldn't be dragging them into it, sir."

To Axel's frustration and immense surprise, Xemnas laughed. It was the type of laugh that one could imagine coming from the dark hollow of a dead tree. There was no joy in it and his deep voice seemed to echo throughout the room. Axel crossed his arms and slouched as far back as he could into his chair.

"Forgive me, but what you had to say was more amusing because you are horribly, ironically blind to the situation. Tell me, if you were so concerned about borders then why didn't you speak up when I had you posted on the farmland territory?"

Axel was silent so Xemnas answered for him.

"It's obvious, isn't it? You had no qualms because my orders were in line with your goals. You desired to be in that boy's presence and to protect him. I desired to gain knowledge and an intimate understanding of the enemy," Xemnas' lips twitched at the word 'intimate' and suddenly all those warm nights Axel spent in Roxas' bed when he was meant to keep watch came back to him with a bitter taste. "Unknowingly, you provided this."

"Huh, so you're admitting to using me," Axel said with a sardonic snort. He never thought he'd hear Xemnas actually admit to it, even though he was well aware of what his General had planned.

"Only because you are admitting likewise," Xemnas quipped.

Axel was reeling. What was going on? The self-imposed question of _why?_ tried to form again in his mind but another sprang from his lips.

"So now what? Now that our big secrets are out, what are you gonna do? Guess running laps won't get me back on the A-list, huh, _sir_?"

There was a knock at the door. Xemnas ignored the noise for a moment and gave Axel a knowing look that promised punishment was to come before he said, "No, I believe we are passed that. Come in," he called to the door.

Axel craned his neck to see Marluxia step in the room. The Information Sector's head let his gaze flicker over Axel passively and looked to Xemnas.

"Sir, you said at noon you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, about the prisoner."

Axel's stomach knotted and suddenly he didn't like how Marluxia stood very close behind him and out of sight. After his conversation with Xemnas he didn't trust any Organization member behind his back. His eyes were focused intensely on Xemnas but his ears were tuned only to Marluxia's voice and movements.

"I've reviewed the tapes from yesterday and it is as Vexen reported. Riku has not divulged anything," Marluxia said in a solemn, official sort of way.

Xemnas replied likewise but the leer on his face suggested insincerity.

"Then we change tactics."

"Should I assemble a team?"

"No," and Xemnas' gaze swung back to Axel with the firmness and finality of a bladed pendulum. Axel drew his face back an inch as if the man actually had the power to cut off Axel's head. "No. In lieu of certain circumstances, I will assign you the members. They are to be Luxord, Xaldin, Axel and Larxene. Saix will act as overseer. I need to speak with you about internal matters."

Receiving no answers by staring at Xemnas' cold features, Axel cocked his head to stare up at Marluxia. The man gazed down at Axel with a detached air but a subtle flame shone dimly in the man's eyes. Marluxia turned back to Xemnas.

"Forgive me General but is it wise to have two inexperienced soldiers working on Riku at the same time? Larxene - "

"Cadet Larxene has never shown hesitation and if you had faith in her, you would not hesitate now. If you are to show concern for anyone, it should be Cadet Axel. Every soldier is aware of his..._spirit_. If you let a fire rage without corralling it, it will burn everything up and spit out only ashes. We need answers from Riku, not a charred body," Xemnas said with finality and dismissed the two men.

Axel stood and tailed Marluxia as he walked out of the room after giving a curt nod to Xemnas. Marluxia walked quickly so with a sigh, Axel quickened his pace to match the pink haired man.

"What did you say to the General?" Marluxia asked, his shoulders tensing a little and he didn't look at Axel as he spoke.

"Excuse me?" Axel asked cockily, though he was taken aback by Marluxia's abruptness.

"Never mind, soldier. Just to let you know, I spent the night reviewing all of the notes from Riku's questioning. The ones including you were the most intriguing."

"Again, excuse me?" Axel had no clue what Marluxia was getting at. Was he threatening Axel? Was he calling him an idiot? A coward? Was he pulling a Xemnas and just fucking with his head?

"Meet the others outside Riku's cell," Marluxia said and walked off down an adjoining hallway.

Axel paused and just watched Marluxia stride down the hallway at a pace that moved as quickly as his mouth had. Axel was feeling more and more confused by the minute. Things that he didn't understand were being stuffed and stored in his mind and he felt he was losing sight of something very important, something he was now gripping by the wrist that he had been holding close to his heart.

Axel made it to Riku's cell where Luxord, Saix and Xaldin were waiting for him and Larxene. The three men stood tall and collected before Riku's cell, talking idly.

"The General chose to send you, Axel? Very well, we are just waiting on Larxene then," Saix said as Axel came to the edge of the group. That sentence and a quick up and down assessment from Luxord and Xaldin was all Axel received for a welcome.

Axel had thought about asking what exactly they were going to do, but with the lukewarm welcome cooling him, Axel decided to wait for Larxene and see if she knew what was going on. He'd rather deal with her cattiness than senior officers' coldness.

Xaldin and Luxord had resumed their discussion and Axel couldn't help but feel a little foreboded by their calm, cool and incredibly chilling words.

"About a week ago there was man who the General thought was close to the King. He was very lucky. My gun went off early and he only ended up with one blown knee," Luxord said with frozen eyes to which Xaldin nodded.

"I remember. I was sent to execute him, but of course he didn't know that. The General wanted me to strike fear in his heart," Xaldin said in a laid back drawl as he smoothed his black coat. "I told him after every session that he was to die an uncertain death. One day he would be shot in the back of the head, the only warning would be a few quick footsteps. I had one of the guards follow behind us every day. Sadly the ploy was ruined when the guard I had follow me as I was about to shoot opened his mouth. I don't think the prisoner left this world with as much fear as he could have."

"We'll get another chance with this one," Luxord said, tossing his head at Riku. The silver haired boy sat on the ground, his head bowed and one arm draped over a raised knee. He gave no indication of fear and breathed slowly and easily as he silently listened. Luxord turned to directly face Riku and gave him a quick once over like he had Axel.

"He doesn't look as strong as the other," Xaldin commented, coming to stand next to Luxord.

"If he talks he's got higher chances of making it out alive. We won't have to dump his body on the edge of that crater town."

Riku's head lifted at that comment and instead of dread, a thick hate clouded his eyes and drew his lips into a feral snarl.

"Getting the party started early are we?" Larxene said as she sauntered up to the group of men and stood before Riku's cell with her hands on her hips. Again the senior officers gave the new member a swift once over so they probably didn't catch the dullness in Larxene's smile like Axel did. She did know something then, but it wasn't something pleasant. Then again Axel could never remember receiving anything pleasant from Larxene.

"We go now," Saix said, nodding to Xaldin and Luxord. The two officers open Riku's cell, pushed him to his knees and bound his hands behind his back. Larxene and Axel stood to the side as they pushed him out the door and followed Saix down the hall. Axel and Larxene treaded in Xaldin and Luxord's wake.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Axel asked Larxene.

"Aw ickle Axel is so naive," Larxene cooed. Axel let the rib go unpunished and waited for Larxene to smarten up. In a more serious tone she asked, "Do you _really_ have no idea?"

"I have guesses but I guess I'm not as privileged as you," Axel jibed back.

"I just have a way with men's hearts, I guess," she simpered and swayed her hips.

"It's not their hearts you have your way with," Axel said casually.

"Axel, what the hell do you know, you dick suck-"

"If you two would please leave your personal relationship outside the door and follow me inside, thank you," Luxord said, a smile cracking his lips as Larxene reddened in the face. She probably wasn't blushing, more likely she was keeping her anger in check. Saix blinked coolly at Axel and Larxene before entering a room next to the room Xaldin, Luxord and Riku were in. Axel just scoffed and followed Luxord.

When Larxene remained outside, bloated with fury, Axel popped his head back out and called to her.

"Hey, honey, did you get lost?"

"Screw you, Axel," she hissed as she stormed into the room, brushing roughly past Axel as he smirked at her.

"Close the door," Luxord said, his gaze flickering briefly to Axel then back to Riku.

Axel did as he was told and shut the door. When he sealed and locked it, his attention was grabbed by a large black pane of glass stuck in a pristine, white wall. He could see his own reflection in the glass but nothing and no one behind it. Saix would be in that room, the creep probably watching Axel's every move with cold intensity. Axel casually looked in the glass like a mirror and scratched the side of his nose with him middle finger. He smirked as he turned his back to take in the rest of the room.

The room had no furnishings, save for a cupboard by the door, and everything was white. The floor, the ceiling the walls, even the glaring lights seemed to be searing them with white light. There were no windows that one could actually see out of and only one door. The black deadbolt lock that barred the way out and the blinded window were the only colour differences in the room. Axel couldn't help but feel a tiny bit claustrophobic. He needed some way of seeing the outside world; he felt isolated from it and all the world's people, laws and morals. In that isolating freedom he found himself trapped.

Xaldin and Luxord had moved further into the room with Riku while Larxene stood next to Axel with her arms crossed. He thought he heard Larxene mutter something under her breath and his attention slipped to her.

"What the hell are you looking at?" she hissed.

Before Axel could come back with a bruising insult, Luxord spoke to them. He stood on the other side of the room with Xaldin who was holding Riku slightly behind the bearded man.

"Just so everyone plays fair I have a couple rules. Rule number one: Saix and I are Simon so when one of us says stop, you stop," Luxord said as he held up one finger. Another finger came up to count. "Rule number two: you must participate."

Axel couldn't help raise a brow when Luxord laughed grimly after rule number two.

"I don't think number two will be important once you start playing. And rule number three: everything is allowed save for death. With that being said, empty your guns and put your knives in the corner of the room please."

Axel and Larxene did as they were told but Axel felt shaky about the situation. Like how he had known it would be Riku under the hood back in the school, he knew now why he was there and his only answer to the situation was written on his frowning face and stubbornly crossed arms; _hell no_. Instead of emptying his gun of rounds he just tossed it in the corner and leaned against the wall, arms crossed again. Larxene scoffed at Axel and rolled her eyes. Her scorn stung a little but he wasn't going to change his mind on the situation just because Larxene thought he was being weak.

Luxord shared a quick look with Xaldin. The man with sideburns nodded and Luxord stepped forward to stand squarely before Axel and Larxene.

"You might have some misconceptions about what exactly we are doing and whether it's right. Unfortunately you aren't holding the cards, you are one of the Organization's cards to be played," Luxord explained with a sober expression.

"That doesn't make the Organization sound like a happy place," Axel quipped. Larxene sucked in her breath with a hiss and he was sure the word _idiot_ nearly dropped from her tongue.

Luxord chuckled and replied, "Xemnas warned me you were a wild one. However, even wild cards are under the game's rules. War isn't 'happy.' And perhaps it's a bit too light hearted to call the war a game, but in essence that is what it is. Someone will have to win. In order to do this we have to do all that we can."

From behind Luxord, Riku snorted and let out a dry laugh.

"Playing a game are we? Then why aren't you following the rules?" Riku asked bitterly.

Luxord beamed back at Riku as he answered, "Because the only rules between us are to follow our own personal rules as well as the superiors' rules, and to try our best to stay alive."

Luxord nodded subtly to Xaldin who gave a curt nod and butted Riku on the back of his head with his gun. The silver haired boy's bemused expression became one of pain and he sank to his knees. Axel slipped on the wall and swore, just as surprised as Riku was. The poor boy was gritting his teeth in pain and blindly trying to find his footing while his tears and bound hands impaired him.

Xaldin walked up behind Riku and grabbed the boy roughly by his hair causing him to gasp with pain.

"What the hell are you idiots _doing_?" Axel asked as he took a step away from the wall and looked at Luxord and Xaldin with wide eyes. His heart was racing and he felt adrenaline coursing through him and making his motions jagged. He posed his question to Luxord and Xaldin but he could only look at Riku's pained face and the venom the boy had for him in his eyes.

"Axel, shut up. You're making me sick," Larxene snapped and she did look pale as she glared at Axel with narrowed eyes.

"You sure that's not the speck of humanity telling you this is wrong?" Axel fired back but his own heart wavered at the lack of support from anyone in the room. The only one that would side with him was bound, weak, and on his knees. Not to mention glaring at him. He couldn't blame Riku for hating him; Axel had brought Riku to the Organization's headquarters.

Axel had never been one to fall in line and follow others unless it was what he wanted to do, but in this room he felt the pressure. The room was so isolated and the only inhabitants were people who all thought Axel was in the wrong. He really wanted to just say 'fuck them' and walk out but he knew they wouldn't let him get far. Besides, he had joined the Organization of his own free will because he wanted to protect Roxas by any and all means. His brain was desperately trying to find a link between torturing Riku and protecting Roxas.

While Axel was thinking the link over, Xaldin laughed.

"Humanity? Cadet, do you know what this boy would have done if he wasn't captured?" Xaldin asked and yanked on Riku's hair, pulling the boy's face up and making him squint in pain. "This man, who would stand so tall if we let him, is the man who would have crept between the aisles of your sleeping quarters and slit your throat as you slept. You would have awoken from your dream only to meet a gurgling, bloody death. And he would do so to your friends. What does humanity say about letting your friends choke on their own blood when you could have prevented it? Do you want your friends to die?"

"No but you want information right? How does this get us anything? You're not asking questions."

"One key does not open all locks," Xaldin said calmly.

"I hate to break it to you but Riku's a person, not a fricken door," Axel said, though he knew his argument didn't sound half as impressive and Xaldin's analogy.

Xaldin shook his head and exposed his teeth in a grim smile. He turned to Luxord and asked, "Do I have permission to show the cadet how much of a human our prisoner is?"

Luxord blinked and nodded. He walked over to the door, ordering Larxene to come stand with him. Now Xaldin stood behind Riku as he grasped the boy's hair tightly and Axel stood closer to the centre of the room, looking around a little uncertainly. Xaldin took out two knives from his belt. Riku probably saw the sheen of the blade from the corner of his eye and began to struggle only to have Xaldin yank on his hair again. Xaldin tossed one of the blades to the ground where it spun to a stop a few feet from Axel. Axel looked down at the knife sceptically, not really getting what was going on. Axel's heart leapt into his throat when he saw Xaldin push Riku's face down and he thought for a moment he was going to stab Riku in the back. Instead he growled in Riku's ear but loud enough for Axel to hear.

"All that stands in your way is Axel. There is a loaded gun behind him and a knife between the both of you. I suggest you move quickly."

"What the-"

Axel tensed with shock as Xaldin sliced through Riku's bonds and shoved the boy closer to the knife between them. Riku used the push as momentum to scrabble closer to the blade. Axel's mind blacked out for a moment and before he was even aware of it, he was leaping for the knife too. Riku beat him to it, but with a swift kick to his hand, Axel knocked the knife free. It spun away towards Larxene's feet.

With his hands free, Riku got to his feet quickly and made to jog towards the guns. Axel heard Larxene gasp and guilt mingled with his fear and anger. Riku still had yet to get past Axel like hell he would be the one that to let their prisoner murder them all. Axel lunged at Riku but even in his weary and pained state the boy struggled. The more Riku twisted and punched the more Axel got lost in the fight. He bashed back, dug his knee into the other's stomach, ripped fingers from his wrists and used the boniest parts of his body to drive Riku back and back and to an edge in both their minds.

By the time Axel managed to get his arm around Riku's throat he was lost to his fighting instinct. He squeezed as Riku scratched at his arm. Riku tossed his head and landed a jarring blow to Axel's chin. Axel's frustration got the better of him and he drove his knuckles deep into Riku's ribs. Riku gasped but got his arms up and locked them around Axel's neck. He pulled the both of them to the ground painfully where they wrestled and writhed like stray mutts in their own spit and blood.

Axel's face was half smothered by Riku's shoulder as the filthy prisoner tried digging his nails into Axel's eyes, causing the soldier to swear in pain. Through the darkness of his anger he saw Luxord push Larxene and she nearly jumped out of her skin as she screamed at him.

"I KNOW. I'M FUCKING GOING!"

Riku's weight was being lifted off of Axel, leaving him with the shameful stings of the prisoner's fists. His head had but a breath to clear before his anger intensified when Riku lashed out and nearly broke his knuckles on Larxene's cheek. She staggered with a pained gasp. It excited vicious thoughts in Axel's mind; the high-pitched and terrified noise Riku ripped from her throat was the most feminine noise she had ever made. Riku had stripped her of her pride. Axel's fists clenched as he staggered painfully to his feet.

"Going to let your comrade and saviour be beaten by Twilight Town trash?" Xaldin goaded Axel as he got to his feet. Axel's blood rushed in his ears when he heard Xaldin snarl, "I bet he'd rape her if you gave him the chance."

Logic seemed to slip away from Axel while the chemicals of battle raged in his mind. He took Xaldin's words to heart and, as Riku crouched over Larxene, trying to break through her trashing arms, Axel saw him as a hunched creature whose hunger, rage and lust was worse than a wolf in a field of sheep. Adrenaline made Riku's pained snarl look like an animal's grinning muzzle. With that thing free no one was safe. And how many times had the enemy been inside Sora's house? Roxas lived there. _Roxas!_ In his blind hate, Axel actually envisioned Riku standing over Roxas' distorted body, laughing as Roxas cried for someone to stop the pain...

Axel pulled Riku off Larxene by the shoulders and flung him to the ground. The air was forced from Riku's lungs in a dry heave. Axel descended on Riku, grabbing the boy by his collar and shaking him. Luxord or, more likely Xaldin, kicked one of the empty guns to Axel's feet. Riku snarled at Axel and tried to wriggle free but Larxene was there and slamming her toes into Riku's side and swearing at him, calling him a traitor, murderer and rapist. Axel nearly tripped on the gun under his boots. He made to kick it out of his way but Riku had the misfortune of catching Axel's shin with his elbow and so Axel picked up the gun. Through the heated haze of his mind a question began to form..._Why-_ the gun fell twice on Riku. Once the butt sunk into the soft flesh of his stomach and once clipped the side of his head.

"Stop. I said stop, soldiers!" Luxord barked and ensnared Larxene in his arms, making her screech as he dragged her away.

Xaldin grabbed the gun from Axel's hands before it fell on Riku's face again. Axel was about to snap at Xaldin for stopping him, but he happened to catch a glimpse of Riku's face. As Axel looked down at the thing he was sitting on he couldn't help but feel frustrated, guilty, and repulsed. Riku still snarled up at him but his nose was streaming blood and it trickled into his mouth and defined the lines between his teeth.

"Disgusting, isn't he, soldier?" Xaldin sneered as he helped pull Axel to his feet.

_Disgusting, right,_ Axel thought but his rage was cooling and somehow he didn't think disgusting was quite the right word. He didn't know if he could describe what had happened because he couldn't recall the details. His shin and stomach ached and his eyes stung. He remembered feeling exhilarated, hearing panting in his ears and seeing blood on his knuckles after shaking his fist out. He couldn't remember who had struck first or why, but he knew there was a reason and it had something to do with protecting Roxas from unrefined, pure evil.

"Help me tie his hands again, comrade," Xaldin said to Axel who breathed heavily and could only nod.

Together he and Xaldin flipped him over and Xaldin had Axel hold the prisoner down by the throat as he tied his hands. Then they dragged their prisoner over to lean against the wall and regrouped with Luxord and a calmer but scorned Larxene.

"Well done you two. We'll begin again in a couple hours," Luxord said, commending Axel and Larxene with a couple dips of his head.

Pride lit briefly in Axel's chest, but as something moved in the corner of Axel's eye, he felt the true definition of disgusting. The sad prisoner had slipped against the wall and, with his hands tied behind his back, his face acted as a cushion. Riku let out a gasp of pain and feebly tried to regain some of his pride and push himself up into a sitting position. His body was too tired and heavy with bruises so he had no choice but to lay awkwardly on his side, his bangs tangled in a bloody matt on his lips. His breath came out rattled and sometimes with a high-pitched, strained sound like he was choking on something and couldn't get the words out. No one in the room would run to help him. In fact Xaldin laughed harshly at Riku's struggle, causing Axel and Larxene to chuckle grimly with him. Axel felt then that _he_ was disgusting, yet he knew that he would do it again if he needed to. He couldn't quite explain why he had needed to that day, but at the moment he knew that he did.

An hour later Larxene stood before Riku, the right side of her face red from the backside of his hand and her lips slightly puffy. Axel was at her side, gun at the ready in case Riku sprang. Larxene sniffed and then dumped the bucket of ice water over Riku who had been dozing off the pain. Naturally he startled awake and tried to get to his feet. Axel didn't shoot him but instead rammed the butt of his gun upside Riku's temple and the boy slammed into the wall and fell back into unconsciousness.

"Way to go," Larxene sighed, letting the rusted bucket clatter to the floor. "Either you're just too eager or just too kind."

Axel turned his back on Larxene and shrugged.

"I've had enough of his face today. Besides, we'll be back tomorrow," Axel said and headed for the door, Larxene's keen gaze watching his every step.

Once outside the room, Axel slumped against the wall and ran a hand sloppily through his hair. His head hurt and not just because of the beating Riku had given him. He had thought that his talks with Xemnas took the most mental toll but today had been worse. Something in Axel's cluttered mind had collapsed and he was too tired to even bother to see what it was. Tomorrow, he'd sort the pieces and pack them up in a box labelled _morality_ but right now he just couldn't think anymore.

* * *

><p>Sitting by the window and feeling the golden light of the setting sun on his skin, Roxas was far from pain. The same could not be said for his brother.<p>

Sora lay in bed, tossing and turning and waking whenever he turned because he would end up leaning on his bad arm. Something horrible seemed to be working through his brother, something that made him drench the bed in sweat and shiver under five quilts. Then there were those terrible moments when Sora didn't move at all and Roxas would sit in the window sill near the head of his brother's bed and watch for the quick, little movements of Sora's chest beneath the mountain of quilts. Now was one of those times and the setting sun bathed Sora's bed in darkness.

It was hard to tell whether the knot in his stomach came first, during or after Sora's sudden bloodcurdling scream. Roxas leapt from the window, emotions coursing through his body that seemed to have burst in his stomach like the knot had been a welt of diseased feelings. Sora was sitting up straight in his bed, his good arm supporting his weight and his other hand clenching at his abdomen. Roxas looked down when he realized his own hand was at his stomach too and thought it was only mimicry of Sora's action. That is until both their hands began to travel from their stomachs up to rest on their chests at the same time.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I'll be honest and let you know that I rewrote this chapter at least three times. It gave some trouble and my beautiful editor noticed my struggle as well. I re-read this one quite a bit and sometimes I think it reads well and sometimes I think it's over the top. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it! *heart*


	7. Chapter 7

**The Gears Began to Turn**

When Axel woke the day after he had beat on Riku he wasn't as sure about his self-righteous feelings. He sat up in bed and ran a hand over his bruised face. He put his head in his hands and groaned. Next to him, Demyx groaned as well and Axel looked expectantly at him, but his friend hadn't actually woken. He probably wouldn't have asked Demyx about his internal problems anyways since it certainly couldn't be answered easily and could be considered treasonous.

Later that day, Xemnas was merciful and ordered Riku to be questioned by Zexion and Vexen. Larxene was to act as guard, for which Axel was relieved. But when the deranged scientist and his lackey finished with the Twilight Town soldier, Axel was called to help take the boy back to his cell.

He entered the room and gagged a little on the smell. Larxene and Riku were the only ones in the room. Riku was unconscious and both occupants were quite pale. When Larxene spotted Axel she fixed a sneer on her lips and cocked her hips to one side with attitude.

"What's that smell?" Axel asked while waving at the air.

"Whatever Vexen and that little shit Zexion drugged this poor bastard with," Larxene nodded at Riku. She made an odd sound in her throat and stared at Riku with a concentrated intensity. "That and his blood."

"What d'you mean?" Axel asked confusedly.

"He wasn't answering so they drained him a little."

"Why though?"

"Like I fucking know!" Larxene snapped and turned her back on Axel, her arms crossed. "Like I care."

Axel narrowed his eyes at Larxene's back and sighed as he looked to Riku. The guy would be a dead weight to drag back to his cell and he didn't look or smell all that pleasant. Plus, since the day before when he and Larxene had beaten the guy, Axel had been wary about being around him. He couldn't help but think of Riku as something that even a dog wouldn't dare put in his mouth. The guy was poison; he made Axel's stomach churn and his mind cloud. He hated how someone so unimportant could have this much of an effect on him. The only guy he gave rights to play with his emotions was Roxas.

A frown tugged at Axel's mouth with thoughts of his blond boy. Never had there been a day, not even after joining the Organization, that Axel had not wanted to see Roxas. Things had changed since yesterday. Axel felt like he was somehow tacked to Riku or vice versa. He didn't think he could go back to Roxas because of this strife between him and Riku. He felt tainted and he couldn't bring the infection to Roxas. He had to cure it on his own but he wasn't a doctor. He had no idea where the taint was in him but he knew it stemmed from Riku. So as soon as he found a way to deal with the boy he abhorrently draped over his shoulder to take back to his five by five cemented and barred hell, then he would return to Roxas. For the time being he'd just have to image Roxas' face but the blond hair and blue eyes seemed to be fading...

* * *

><p>It had been four days since Riku had promised to stop by a final time with medication and new bandages.<p>

Sora's fever had him sleeping seventy percent of the day and Roxas worrying for a hundred percent. Roxas dressed and cleaned his brother's wound with scraps of cloth and warm soap water but with uncertain hands. He had no idea if he was doing it right or how to stop the infection whose scent pervaded Sora's bedroom. It had been clearing up before Riku left, but Naminé had been sending care packages through Riku then.

Roxas looked down on his brother's closed eyes and brushed soppy bangs from Sora's forehead. He wondered what his brother was dreaming about. Knowing how Sora nattered about finding Riku he probably dreamed about the mysteriously vanished soldier.

Roxas' eyes dulled and his hand stilled on Sora's forehead as he sat with a heavy stillness on the edge of his brother's bed. He'd dreamed of Axel last night. Nothing ominous or upsetting, in fact he just dreamed that Axel was lying with him in bed. In the dream Roxas had been restless and kicked Axel. Axel, fed up with Roxas' wriggling, leaned over him and whispered with his lips pressed to Roxas' ear, "I've had enough, Roxas." And Axel had gotten out of bed and Roxas awoke, his limbs paralyzed. For a moment he wildly feared that if he moved he would kick Axel in the waking world, but after a couple sobering seconds of listening for another's breathing, he realized he was the only one in his bed. As the paralysis faded dread took its place and Roxas had the wild desire to run to Hallow Bastion and find Axel. He wanted to drag him back to bed, tell him his place was there and that Roxas never meant to kick him out. He calmed down and thought realistically about what would happen if he stormed the Organization's headquarters in the middle of the night. He'd be lucky not to get shot.

"Hey, Rox, has Riku come yet?" Sora asked with a voice so dry it cracked like desert dirt.

"You sound thirsty. I'll go get you water," Roxas said, removing his hand from Sora's forehead and made to stand up. Sora grabbed Roxas by the wrist with a burning hand.

"All you had to say was 'no'," Sora croaked and let go of Roxas' wrist because his arm throbbed with the movement. Sora laughed groggily and Roxas stood sadly by the bed. "Just wanted to make sure he didn't come when I was sleeping. It'd be just like him to slip away."

* * *

><p>Today the prisoner was bound to a cold metal chair. Luxord sat opposite to Riku with a revolver in his hand, snuggling its muzzles against the boy's knee. Axel sat in one corner of the room, resting his head on his knees and trying to ignore Luxord. Luxord was actually asking questions instead of just beating on Riku, but if Axel was in Riku's position he would choose the straight up beatings.<p>

"You don't seem to want to tell us about your leader so I'll ask you about other important officers. Who are the officers directly below your King?" Luxord asked. He pressed his gun even closer to Riku's left knee as he said ominously, "I don't believe I have to elaborate on the consequences of what might happen if you don't supply an answer."

Riku's eyes flickered from the gun to the corner where Zexion stood with his notebook at the ready. Axel could empathize with the contempt Riku felt for Zexion. The guy periodically hung around his boyfriend's window, taking notes on Sora's condition, where the wounded boy spent most of his day and what he said to Roxas. Axel only realized how hard he had been staring at his comrade when Zexion turned to stare pointedly at him. Axel snorted and let his head bump back against the wall.

"Are you bored, soldier?" Luxord asked, turning towards Axel when he snorted.

"No, sir," Axel yawned and picked at pieces of lint on his uniform. Luxord allowed a small grin to play on his lips.

Maybe he should have said yes. He would much rather have Luxord think that he thought the upper ranking officer was boring rather that have him think Axel was imaging cuffing Zexion up the side of his head for keeping tabs on Roxas. He didn't want either of his comrades thinking he was sympathizing with Riku. There had been a rumour floating around that some members of the Organization were under scrutiny for the possibility of treason. No one had been caught but Axel could guess who was sniffing out the rats, the biggest rat of them all in Axel's opinion.

"Come here," Luxord said to Axel as he got off the chair and removed the gun from Riku's knee.

Luxord just smirked as Axel sighed and heaved himself to his feet. Axel was well aware that Zexion's eyes were trained on his every muscle and he had to swallow his desire to flip Zexion off. Luxord might find Axel's cheekiness amusing but disrespecting Xemnas' honoured scenting hound might upset the hierarchy.

Riku's tired eyes watched through cuts and puffy bruises as Axel swung the chair around and straddled the seat. Riku lifted his head a bit and looked at Axel curiously.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Axel taunted Riku. Some odd emotion shot up Axel's spine like a spider scattering before a light when Riku had given Axel that searching look. Axel had been positioned a couple times outside other prisoners' cells, but only when locking gazes with Riku did he take the staring personally. When Riku looked away Axel felt relieved. He didn't want to feel anything human about Riku. It just made things easier.

"Take my gun, Axel," Luxord said while offering the revolver's butt end to Axel. Somewhat hesitantly, Axel took it and gripped it experimentally like a puzzle box that he had no clue or desire to open. With an ironic smile Axel thought the gun was more like the key to the box and the puzzle was...

"A couple days ago I believe it was you who complained that Xaldin and I weren't actually questioning the prisoner. Why don't you try your hand at it now?" Luxord said and took a step back to survey Axel and Riku.

Axel gave Riku a cynical look and received a narrow eyed one in return. There was a smile on Riku's lips that seemed grimly amused and challenging. They had played tag once when they were younger and neither of them would have guessed five years later they would be here. Axel hid his own grin by looking down at the gun. Screw Riku for mocking him alongside Luxord. Riku's stupid smirk did make Axel want to laugh though.

Luxord cleared his throat and, with the noise, cleared Axel's mind.

"There's only one bullet in the gun, soldier," Luxord said, nodding to the gun in Axel's hand. "I don't know which barrel holds the bullet, only chance does. So if our prisoner doesn't want to be shot then the best way to decrease those odds is to answer all your questions. Do you both understand the rules?"

"Yes, sir," Axel replied with a small salute while Riku glared.

"Good. And by the way," Luxord said with a pointed, reprimanding look at Riku, "That's a very poor way to start the game, Riku."

Luxord took another step back and his presence faded. Axel leaned his upper body along the back of the chair and squared off against Riku in a silent staring contest. Axel knew then that the only noise he'd heard in this room would be his own voice and the gun's loud bang. The realization made his chest sag against the chair. Couldn't they choose someone who knew nothing about Riku before the war to do this? Axel's brows twitched as he thought, is that a hypocritical thing to say? He wasn't quite sure what made someone a hypocrite but sagely he realized it was twisted.

"So..." Axel began, lifting the gun up carelessly with his one finger and let it dangle before Riku's eyes. "Where would you like me to point this thing?"

Riku just took a deep breath and stared fixedly at Axel.

Like a boy trying to get a cat's attention with a string, Axel trailed the gun's muzzle over a map of particularly painful places on Riku's body. He tried not to think about it but once the thought crept in Axel couldn't help but wrinkle his nose a little when he imagined what is would be like to be shot in the foot, in the shin, kneecap, thigh, groin – Axel cringed inwardly and moved the muzzle back to Riku's thigh. Somehow Riku had managed not to flinch when Axel moved the gun over his crotch, though he did blanch. Axel had to look away from Riku again; something like respect had lit up his eyes at Riku's stony resolve. When Axel looked back up his heart nearly drowned in his stomach. Riku was still sitting with his ridiculous resolve but the coy frown on his face seemed to say 'Just do it, Axel. We both know why we're here.'

"Roxas..." Axel murmured in voice so low only Riku heard properly. With a slow understanding blink Riku replied.

"Did the prisoner say something?" Zexion called from his corner.

"Yeah, I don't even have to ask him the questions. What with all his extra alone time Riku's learned to read minds, Zex," Axel called over his shoulder. A little bit of his frustration snuck into his scathing words, "He just told me you've got a _real_ nasty one."

Zexion did not reply while Luxord coughed dryly, "Stick to the questions we all can hear, soldier."

"Right..." Axel said, turning his back on Luxord and Zexion once again. With a determinedly serious face that twitched with hidden amusement, Axel looked back to Riku. He held the gun floppily against the other's knee as he asked, "So, wise all-knowing Riku, where's your leader?"

Zexion _hmm_ed contemptuously and Luxord sighed.

"Perhaps this is a mistake, sir?" Zexion suggested to Luxord behind Axel's back. Axel was being to feel there was something wrong with this scene as well. If Axel didn't want to shoot someone whose hands were bound because he knew something about him then should he care if someone else shot him? Should he care since Riku was their enemy and a horrible person? Had Riku actually raped or murdered anyone?

Zexion and Luxord where hushed when amazingly Riku responded.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Yeah, we would but you're not gonna say, huh? Okay, well, how about we try a different question..."

"Axel, if the prisoner doesn't supply a legitimate response then you are supposed to pull the trigger," Luxord said rather patiently for someone whose operation was being mocked.

"Right! My bad. Well the moment's gone so I guess you get a freebie, Riku. Better answer my next question seriously though," Axel warned. Riku went back to being silent and just smirked slightly.

Axel squared his shoulders, as though he was about to wrestle with Riku, while the bound boy just watched him. Axel paused to think about what he could or should say or ask. He was in Riku's – no he shouldn't think like that – but whose voice was that telling Axel not to think like Riku? Not to get in his head and dig a little? Axel had to bite back a laugh and wonder if he'd gone crazy. No, he hadn't, not yet at least. The voice wasn't his but neither were a lot of his actions as of recent. Maybe he was crazy. Crazy because he'd put his trust in people he didn't know, people with guns and a man named Xemnas. Would it be possible to leave and return to Roxas? Nah. Things were not so simple now.

Axel grasped the gun firmly and rammed the muzzle into Riku's thigh, causing the boy to startle with the sudden pain.

"Alright, Riku. I'm one hundred percent serious now and only, what? Eightyish percent sure that the bullet is not peeking out at your leg. So, answer me this," Axel snarled, lips drawn up in a wicked grin. Riku's gaze grew dark and Axel's heart wavered. "Is Zexion really thinking about what Vexen would look like in a skirt?"

"Axel you are relieved from your duties for the rest of the day," Marluxia's voice said over the speaker system.

Axel swung himself off the chair and walked out of the room with his shoulders thrown back casually. Xemnas would probably chew him out for ruining yet another questioning period but probably nothing too horrible. Maybe he'd send Axel back to the frontlines which he would actually prefer over becoming one of Marluxia's torture boys. He was halfway down the hall and all the way engrossed in his thoughts when Larxene barked his name from behind.

"Hey, Axel, what's the rush? Running off to your Roxas?" she said slyly as she closed the door to the observation room.

Axel's stomach twisted a little. He still felt like he and Riku had unfinished business and it blocked the road to Roxas. Axel didn't let her know she had struck a rather sore part of his heart and leaned his back against the wall to wait for her to saunter over.

"I saw your performance with Riku. What is it with you and our prisoner?" Her lips twitched into a smirk as she feigned shock, "Don't tell me you've fallen for him?"

"So it's people like _you_ that give blondes the dumb reputation," Axel fired back. In a lighter tone he scoffed, "If that were true I think Roxas and Xemnas would have to duke it out to see who gets to kill me."

Larxene regarded Axel with a thoughtful look and Axel stared curiously back.

"So why are you pissing in our pool? Why won't you have a little fun with Riku? He's Sora's boy and Roxas is yours so why are you putting your neck on the line for him?"

"Why do you care?" Axel asked, actually legitimately wondering. This wasn't Larxene's way of handling things. She would sooner shove her gun down his throat and tell him to start talking rather than converse with him. In an imitation of her light tone Axel retorted, "You haven't had much involvement with Riku lately. Are you afraid he's going to backhand you again or in that touch did you find true love? I hate to break it to you but Riku doesn't want what you have."

"God, you're cranky today. Is that why you were screwing around in there?"

"Nah. It wouldn't have mattered what I asked Riku; the guy's not going to answer. At least not with what we're doing to him right now. It could take a long, long time before he's broken."

"Oh, like you actually know," Larxene sneered, waving his comments away.

"Larxene, I'm hardly ever in the mood for you and like you said, I'm cranky today," Axel said impatiently and pushed himself off the wall. Larxene stepped to the side with a smirk on her face.

"Fine, go ahead and take a nap, you big baby."

"Thanks, princess, I think I will," Axel said and turned his back on her.

An unusual seriousness in Larxene's voice made him pause and turn around to stare at her.

"Just so you know, I'd watch myself if I were you," Larxene said, a smirk still on her lips and a shrewd look to her eyes.

"Why -"

"Just something I heard that mind-fucker Zexion say," Larxene nearly growled their comrade's name. With a low voice and eyes darting around the empty hall she walked quickly over to Axel and whispered in his ear, "Zexion knows _exactly_ what button to press to get Riku to talk. Xemnas wants the information bad. The only reason why Xemnas hasn't stormed the farmhouse and dragged Sora in is because you'd raise hell over it."

Axel's throat felt tight and his mouth was very dry, but he still managed to grind out, "I'm just one guy, Xemnas could-"

"Xemnas could do a lot of things but you're in his inner circle, that means you're worth quite a bit to the Organization. Probably for your stubborn, idiotic personality," Larxene pulled away and turned her back on him as she made her way to the observation room.

They had never really been friends, more bullies who just couldn't seem to keep the other down. Despite the fact that they were on the same side in the war, they were definitely not allies. So either Larxene was stirring things up or she had her own motives for telling Axel all that she had. He didn't really have the mind to dwell on her motives right then. A new spring of dread had grown in his heart and the tendrils were creeping into all the little crevices of his mind. Axel had been chipping away at Xemnas' patience and it looked like his General's anger would fall on Roxas for it.

* * *

><p>"It'll take two hours tops," Roxas argued as he backed towards his brother's door.<p>

"It could take your life too! Don't be an idiot. I'll chase after you," Sora coughed and tried to worm his way out of the cocoon of blankets Roxas had piled on him.

Winter was definitely there. Sora had come down with a cold, probably brought in by Roxas who had desperately spent an entire day trying to salvage the small crops he had managed to keep alive with nothing but his own hands. The crops weren't large enough to make much off of, but Roxas wouldn't have traded the food for all the munny in the world, well, unless it could stop the war. Up until three weeks ago the crops had survived and given Roxas and Sora enough food to live off of during the summer, spring and fall. Winter didn't seem like a possibility, especially with Sora wounded, infected and now sick with a cold. The blankets weren't nailed to the bed, Sora just didn't have the strength.

"I'm the idiot? You want to come with me when you're sick and tired? No offence but I'm pretty sure you're crappy health would make us sitting ducks."

"Roxas, cut it out! I don't need any more heroes and neither do you. Look at what's happened to Axel and Riku!"

They both grew still and silent, Sora breathed thickly through his mouth and Roxas leaned against the bedroom door, playing with the knob.

"I don't think they're gone," Roxas said quietly.

"Of course they aren't!" Sora said way too optimistically, Roxas thought. Sora smiled dopily and slowly shook his head. "That's why you can't just go running off. What if Axel comes back when you're away?"

Slowly Roxas made his way back to Sora's bed, everything about the blond brother appeared down from his bowed head to his frown. Sora snaked his good arm free from beneath the blankets and Roxas laid his hand in his brothers. Sora's skin was burning but so were his eyes, at least for the moment. Roxas felt Sora shiver and his mind was made up.

"What if Axel comes? That's a pretty lame excuse, Sora. Knowing him he'd probably follow me to Twilight Town and drag my ass back here. Sorry, mommy, guess I get to be the big brother for once," Roxas laughed and stole his hand back. Sora protested and threatened but Roxas just placed a quick kiss on Sora's forehead and walked out of the room and out of the house in hopes that he would be able to enlist Naminé's help.

* * *

><p>Axel was lying on his cot, arms crossed behind his head and looking at the sky outside the window. There was no blue to be seen. Thick grey clouds blocked out the colour and hid the strongest of the sun's rays. With the dim amount of light, the outside world appeared faded and the window framing it made it look like an old photograph. It would snow that day, covering some of the rubble like the snow did the plants until spring. Though the snow was kind of like a bandage for Mother Nature's dying garden, Axel would later wish the weather had been warm enough to elicit rain. Snow could only heal so much but rain was better at washing things clean.<p>

In the cot next to Axel, Demyx stirred and stretched his arms as he yawned.

"There haven't been any orders yet, right?" Demyx asked Axel.

"Nope, not yet."

"Awesome! Maybe today will be a good day then."

Axel laughed and turned on his side to face Demyx. He couldn't help but smile when he saw how Demyx's hair was splayed out in all directions like a windblown haystack, and how the rough, woollen blankets were twisted out of their firm shape and snaked around him. As far as Axel knew, Demyx hadn't been in actual battle yet. Maybe that was why he was so carefree.

"A good day? Is there such a thing in the Organization?"

"Nah, not when the heaters are broken," Demyx joked and sloppily wrapped himself in his blankets. Axel's writhing anxiety was veiled by a smile. As if Demyx could feel the worry squirming beneath Axel's skin, his cheeriness dulled and he said quietly, "I've heard you've been working in Marluxia's sector, with Riku. He's Roxas' brother's man, right? Sora's, right?"

Axel rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling.

"Yup," he said nonchalantly.

"That's tough...I'm sorry man," Demyx said earnestly. Axel peeked at Demyx and saw his friend frowning gloomily down at his legs and with an almost shy movement, pulled the blankets tighter around his shoulders.

"Hey, I didn't sign up because I thought Xemnas would have us knitting scarves or picking flowers," Axel paused, not sure if he could even justify what he was doing in Roxas' good name. Axel's brows knit together briefly before he sighed and continued in a low and honest voice, "I joined because I thought I could control what was going on, you know? I hated the wild gunshots I'd hear at night and I hated knowing they were close to my friend's house but that I couldn't do anything about it. I thought here I could handle things...control things."

Demyx sat solemnly on his bed and stared with sympathy in his eyes at Axel's brooding face. He noticed that there were some major changes in his friend. Nothing physical really, except for maybe the bags under his eyes and the small nicks and bruises from their daily grind. And Demyx wouldn't exactly call the bow-like tenseness or flinty glare in Axel's eyes physical changes, more like ripples from a problem that had sunk beneath Axel's skin. He thought he knew why Axel was upset so he fixed a happy grin on his face and offered what he thought was reassurance.

"Roxas is okay, just so you know."

Axel sat up and turned to Demyx, a little bewildered and more than a little suspicious.

"How the hell do _you_ know?" he asked, not aggressively, just surprised.

"Uh, well, Zexion I guess. We talk quite a bit and he's been watching out for Roxas while you've been working for Marluxia," Demyx said, a little taken aback by Axel's keenness. When he noticed the sparks leaping about Axel's stormy face, Demyx shrunk into his blankets, becoming a timid turtle.

So Zexion was messing with Demyx too, Axel fumed. Spying Demyx's worry through his angry haze, Axel let out a low breath to clear his mind.

"Axel? Is there, uh, something going on between you and Zexion?" Demyx asked.

"Me and Zex? Nah, except that I think he's a dirty, little rat," Axel shrugged. Before Demyx could string a sentence together, Axel explained why he thought so negatively of Zexion. "He's not our friend, well, _my_ friend anymore. Not after all the spying he's been doing on Roxas, well, I guess he was at the farmhouse more for Riku, but still...He can't drag Roxas into this. That's crossing a line, at least in my eyes."

"Yeah..." Demyx murmured with wide wild eyes, "That's un-cool. A-are you _sure_ Zexion's not really trying to help you out?"

Axel just gave Demyx a withering look.

"Or not, I guess," Demyx sighed and got out of bed. He shivered when his bare feet touched the floor. "I think they did actually shut the heat off."

"Yeah, Xemnas likes it cold. It keeps his heart from thawing," Axel remarked as he leaned back in bed, but not for long. Over his legs Axel could see a figure approaching and when he spread his knees he recognized the rat staring at him. Axel closed his legs and leaned his head back with a sigh as Zexion came to stand between him and Demyx.

"Hey, Zexion! I haven't seen you in a couple days. Where've you been?" Demyx greeted.

Zexion nodded a hello at Demyx and looked to Axel. When he refused to even look at him, Zexion turned his attention back to Demyx as if Axel was a piece of furniture.

"Hello, Demyx. I've been away and that's all I can say on that subject."

Axel made a scathing noise causing Demyx to scratch the back of his head awkwardly while Zexion ignored the disgruntled soldier. Demyx laughed nervously.

"Ha ha, Zex...I was just making conversation. I don't actually need to know where you've been so long as you come back in one piece."

Zexion blinked at Demyx whose face looked red despite his earlier complaints about the cold. Zexion looked to Axel once again, the redhead mouthing a couple choice swear words in prayer that Zexion would just bugger off. Axel got his wish but it came at a price.

"You both have to get dressed and meet at Xemnas' office in one hour," Zexion said in a curt manner before sharing a goodbye with Demyx and giving another glance in Axel's direction.

Demyx stood at the foot of Axel's bed and shuffled his feet a little on the cool floor. He peeked at Axel, but though his friend lay stretched out on the bed it felt to Demyx like Axel was stiff as stone and just as impenetrable.

With another nervous laugh, Demyx clapped his hands and moved about the room to get ready for the mission.

"Man, is it _cold_."

* * *

><p>He'd failed. He'd failed. He'd <em>fucking<em> failed. The words chanted in Roxas' head to the beat of his pacing. Oh, he had made it to Twilight Town, to the edge of the town, but not inside the temporary wall the King had commissioned the army to put up. The Twilight town regiment had partial control over the most Southern part of the town where the most stubbornly planted civilians were being protected. It was along that Southern border that a ten foot tall wire fence had been erected and several guards posted. At least they hadn't shot him, Roxas thought cynically and chuckled as bitterly as the cold pervading the farmhouse.

Roxas paused in his pacing, his slightly quickened breathing actually formed ghostly vapour inside the house. Through the wisps Roxas could see his brother sleeping. Roxas shivered because for a moment it had looked like a ghost was rising from Sora's bed, but no. It had just been Roxas' breath rising and fading from his own lips.

Judging by the height of the moon, Roxas guessed it was around midnight. He'd been gone all day and he guessed Sora hadn't moved much, except maybe to go to the bathroom. In an hour or two he'd wake Sora up and maybe shove some soup down his throat. That would be his excuse this time. Roxas liked waking his brother periodically through the night just to make sure he could still wake up. He knew he was being overly cautious but Axel was an uncertainty now and Sora, being the eldest brother, had always been in his life.

Roxas moved into Sora's room and lightly lay himself beside his brother on the bed. Like a branch that seemed to reach out to catch the wind but never really wanted to stir its leaves, Roxas stretched his arm out and touched the tips of Sora's hair.

After finding out about the fence Roxas had walked along the edge of town until he found an unguarded and heavily decimated stretch. The houses' walls and roofs looked like some huge animal had taken large bites out of the bricks and kicked dirt over the buildings. Roxas had heard gunshots and plenty of shouting around that area and his heart had sped up in fear. He pressed forward though, desperate for any way in to find the preschool, turned to medical centre, he and Sora had played at. He had gotten within thirty feet of the place and the joy that took wing in his heart was shot from the sky as Twilight Town soldiers blocked his way. They said that they could see nothing wrong with Roxas so they couldn't let him in. He had stood at the foot of the crumbling steps and the guards at the top, their guns crossing their hearts. He tried explaining with tears pushing painfully against the back of his eyes that he wasn't there for himself, that his brother back home needed help. If they could just let him in...but no. Sombrely and perhaps a little pityingly the guards shook their heads. They couldn't trust that Roxas wasn't a spy sent to kill or capture their medical staff.

Frustrated, Roxas had yelled "Who the hell would attack a hospital? What kind of monster would do that?"

The guards nodded dully and solemnly replied "The heartless kind". They had another soldier guide Roxas out of town.

He closed his eyes because he was too tied to stare, to blink, to cry. He opened his eyes and almost jumped out of his skin, pain burrowing into his heart like a worm into an apple. His hands were clasped over his chest and he thought his hands were covered in blood. But that wasn't true. The red between his fingers wasn't sticky, it was soft. And he realized the pain wasn't physical but emotional. Axel lifted his head from Roxas' chest and with blazing eyes brimming with tears he said 'I'm coming for you, babe'. Roxas heard a cough and turned his head to see Sora lying in the dirt, his skin bone white and eyes dull like frosted glass. Roxas waited to see if Riku would come, it only made sense since Axel had come for him.

Roxas awoke when Sora turned in his sleep. Though the vision of a skeletal Sora was quite disturbing, Roxas was at ease. Axel was coming for him but Riku...

Roxas shifted in the bed, brushing his fingertips against something as he stretched. Rousing a little more, Roxas tugged the cloth something out from underneath the pillow. And so the day began.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I suppose this chapter's a lot less of a stress ball and has a bit more humour than chapter six. I'm debating on how often to update now that I don't have to worry about getting chapters out before holidays. I guess I can update randomly throughout the week. Also, I've mapped out the chapters and this story will have a total of fifteen chapters (and that includes a brief epilogue).


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **You can all thank lovelyxpeach for the update today. She helped me by naming this chapter as well as inspired me to update today instead of on Friday. So thank you lovelyxpeach for pushing me forward!

As another important note, this chapter is crucial to the plot and quite heavy. If you know the song it's based off of then there are a couple phrases that should stick out. Anyway, ye be warned.

So if the gears began to turn in the last chapter then I guess this is the mechanism following through on it's design? Ha ha...oh metaphors.

* * *

><p><strong>Red Snow<br>**

Saix and Marluxia stood outside Xemnas' office as Axel, Demyx, Larxene and Zexion made their way over. Larxene was actually sticking pretty close to Axel and shooting sneering looks at Zexion. Demyx stood between Larxene and Zexion looking pretty uncomfortable. Zexion, on the other hand, was indifferent to Larxene's glares and mutually ignored Axel.

If the two officers noticed the soldiers division they didn't say a word about it.

Marluxia turned to Saix and asked, "Where are the others?"

"I have already briefed Lexaeus, Luxord and Xaldin. They will join us in a moment. Xigbar is-"

"Right here, sir!" Xigbar said as he jogged up behind Axel and the others. Xigbar caught Axel smirking at him and retaliated with a lopsided smile. "What's with that grin, soldier? I thought I taught you to be professional."

"Professional idiot," Larxene quipped and leered at Axel. His only comeback was an even bigger smile. The easy banter and jibes were a well worn path that his toes could easily grip.

Intelligently Xigbar ignored Larxene and turned to Demyx, a full grin spreading on his face as Demyx shrunk a little.

"Hey, kiddo! Figured out the muzzle from the trigger yet?" Xigbar teased.

"Yeah," Demyx said, looking down at the gun at his side and nudging it, "It's the aiming I have trouble with."

Saix cleared his throat causing Demyx to blush while Xigbar settled his laughter and let his attention fall on the blue haired officer.

"New information was gathered yesterday and a plan was organized while most of you were asleep," Saix began, his eyes scanning the soldiers assembled before him. Demyx yawned.

"It is prudent that we execute this plan as smoothly as possible because it entails the end of the war."

There were murmurs among the assembled. Demyx gasped, Larxene scoffed and Xigbar sighed and shook his head. Axel was the only one to put words to his feelings.

"Hold it," Axel said, raising his hand to Saix's face. Saix regarded Axel's hand blandly. Satisfied that he had disrespectfully gained the senior officer's attention, Axel continued. "I've heard that line before, when me and Larxene were sent out to fetch Riku. So what's all this about? We've got Riku so you can't be sending us out to fetch him again. I know you think Twilight Town soldiers are a dime a dozen but that doesn't mean there are a dozen Rikus out there."

"You are very observant, Axel," Saix commended with a condescending nod in his direction.

"I'm so flattered."

"What you apparently do not know is that our prisoner is finished. He's broken," Saix said with a clipped tone.

Axel blinked, but what he really needed to clear was his ears not his eyes. What did Saix mean by 'broken'?

"Broken?" Axel asked warily.

"Yes but that is not the main matter of the moment. We have a mission in Twilight Town that will commence in an hour. That is if you withhold your questions."

* * *

><p>Roxas had left a cup of water, a bowl of broth and a letter on Sora's bedside table just before he left the house, carrying only a small bag. The sun had just been rising when Roxas left, though it made little difference with the snow heavy clouds. While he was heavily affected by his dreams as of late, Roxas wasn't one to see omens in clouds or signs in a pile of leaves, but perhaps he should have taken the weather into account. It was bitter cold and his little amounts of exposed skin begged with their burning for him to go back home. He might have to, after all what good would it do for Sora if Roxas got sick or was somehow wounded and froze to death? He continued on because the fields and the outskirts of the destroyed Twilight Town were as silent as the weather. It was a rare opportunity and Roxas knew that later in the day the silence would break.<p>

He crept into town through the decimated streets, hugging the walls and keeping his head low. When he came within a couple blocks of the hospital he ducked inside an abandoned house. Away from the windows, he opened his bag and dumped its contents on the floor. He rubbed his hands together to liven his fingers then slipped off his clothes and pulled the new ones from the bag on. Roxas searched the house until he found a cracked mirror. Upon seeing his reflection, he sighed and his grin reflected in the mirror was distorted by the cracks. Of course Sora had to be dating a guy a foot taller than himself. Then again Roxas had no right to complain. His heart felt odd thinking about Axel. He hadn't seen him in over a week. Roxas knew something was wrong but either Axel couldn't tell him or the stupid bastard thought he could handle everything by himself. The last time he saw him Axel had run miles to knock on the farmhouse door, panting and dripping sweat in the early sunlight. Roxas had thought at the moment Axel kissed him through his tears that they were saying goodbye. Axel hadn't said goodbye. Not even later when he rolled out of Roxas' embrace, put on his clothes and stood before the bed to look down on Roxas wrapped in the mangled sheets. Their content smiles echoed one another's and still Axel hadn't uttered a goodbye. Roxas had lain languid in his bed and Axel got down on his knees to clasp Roxas' hand. With a smirk Axel had run his teeth lightly along the scar from years ago. Roxas' fingers had curled to follow Axel's face as his teeth scraped down the palm. Roxas had laughed and reached out his free hand to run his fingers through his friend's hair. Axel knew Roxas didn't want him to leave and Roxas knew Axel had to go. Once again solidifying the fact that he was not saying goodbye, Axel pressed a firm kiss to Roxas' palm and folded the smaller boy's hand. That day was not the end of them.

Roxas blinked as he came back to his frigid reality. Riku's uniform was three sizes too big for him so it hung like excess skin in the most awkward of places. Roxas stuffed the several inches of excess pant legs into his boots and did the belt up a couple inches higher than normal. The sleeves he rolled up and adjusted the hat with the three pronged crown. He caught sight of his pale face and purplish eyes. He looked starved for sleep and sun. He'd probably fit right in with most of the actual Twilight Town soldiers. He turned away from his reflection and headed back outside.

Roxas' heart banged against his rib cage when he came in sight of the hospital. It was one of maybe twenty buildings still standing and had very few medic trucks parked on the earth strewn lot where a mangled playground rotted. He and Sora had gone to school there when they were young, Riku too. Memories of recess stuck out the most with the three of them playing together. Usually Sora and Riku included Roxas in their games, but every now and then Roxas would be left alone in the sandbox wishing Axel was there. A stupid thought rested in his mind as he watched the teeter-totter bump gently on the ground with ghost children. He might have actually closed his eyes in desire for the thought to be true. He wished Axel _had_ been in the sandbox then and was beside him in Twilight Town _now_.

He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. As a small group of soldiers filed through the doors of the hospital Roxas slipped among them without so much as a splash or ripple. The hallways were pretty silent, but as he passed by some of the rooms he noticed how the nurses bustled about and fluttered around the numerous beds. It was the closed doors where no noises could be heard that gave the hospital an eerie and tense atmosphere. His vision became very selective for small, blonde girls, so when a field medic paused and stared at him he didn't notice until she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Roxas? What's going on?" the field medic asked.

Roxas' blood had been surging along before she stopped him, but with the feeling of being caught his blood's course became a sheer drop until he recognized Kairi.

"Kairi! This is great! Look, I really need your help," Roxas spluttered, jerkily bumping against Kairi as soldiers filed past them.

Kairi's lips had been in a suspicious frown since spotting Roxas. She hadn't forgotten the aggressive way Axel and his crew had stormed the hospital a little over a week ago. And now seeing Axel's boyfriend parading around in a Twilight Town uniform made her feel very uneasy

"Roxas, I don't understand. Why are you in that uniform? Where did you even get it?"

"Ah, that's kind of long story and I can explain it to you, but can I talk to Naminé first? I need her help."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," Kairi said, her hands sliding along her hips.

"Please, Kairi?" Roxas pleaded, reaching out with both his hands to take one of hers. Kairi paused as she noticed how red Roxas' eyes were becoming. His hands gripped hers like a drowning man and he had to use his shoulder to wipe the one stray tear from his eye. He shook his head and told himself _enough is __**enough**__._ "Please. Sora's sick and Riku never came back. We've been waiting for weeks and I tried coming yesterday but they wouldn't let me in, so I borrowed Riku's uniform - "

"Riku's uniform?" Kairi said dumbfounded. Her hand moved from her belt to ghost along Roxas' shirtfront, not quite daring to touch it. Kairi shook herself and her eyes became fixed on Roxas'. "Sora's sick?"

"Yeah. It started with his wound but now he's caught a cold or something."

"You mean the bullet wound? That was like a month ago. It should be healed by now," Kairi said appalled.

"Yeah, well, Sora got upset when Riku said goodbye and the infection got in again. Can we see Naminé now?" Roxas asked, peeking around Kairi to see if Naminé was in the room behind them.

After a moment's deliberation Kairi nodded and smiled. She led Roxas down the hall to what used to be the principal's office but was now mainly a storage area. Naminé was there, dolling out pills to other nurses and scribbling on her clipboard.

"You've got a visitor, Nam," Kairi said and stepped aside to reveal Roxas as Naminé's head came up.

"Roxas?" Naminé blinked at first not believing it was actually him. She moved around the counter with quick steps to stand before him. Her hands came up to his face, lightly touching his cheeks before falling to cover her o-shaped mouth. "Roxas!"

Kairi stepped further back to give Naminé room to wrap her arms around Roxas. He held her close and took comfort in her embrace, sinking some of his heavy emotions into her arms. After a moment the two broke apart and Roxas gently brushed the blonde girl's bangs and tears from her face.

"Naminé, I need your help. I don't know where Riku went and seeing as you two," Roxas looked from Naminé to Kairi, both girls' frowning, "don't look happy when I mention him, I guess he's missing. Sora really needs your help, Naminé."

"Of course," Naminé replied with a withered smile. She took Roxas' hand and led him further into the supply closet, Kairi followed silently behind.

Kairi asked about Sora's wound, how it looked, whether it was bleeding or smelled and as Roxas supplied answers Naminé supplied medication. The girls were hesitant to give Roxas specific medicine for Sora's sickness so they supplied simple antibiotics along with healthy foods. Kairi also gave Roxas extra tourniquets when she learned of the rags he had been dressing Sora's wound in. They loaded a duffle bag with all the supplies. Roxas felt a little sheepish taking all of it. He and Sora weren't even Twilight Town citizens and yet the girls were helping them.

"Thanks, guys. I really needed this. I-it's been hard," Roxas smiled weakly as he shrugged the bag over his shoulder.

"Hey, if I had known how bad Sora was I would have driven my jeep over to your farmhouse and braved the Organization's bullets," Kairi said with an overly bright grin. "Sora's one of my best friends and I owe Riku so much."

She looked down quickly after she mentioned Riku and Roxas noticed her submissive emotions to the missing boy's name. He looked to Naminé who simply smiled sadly.

"You know..." Roxas said slowly, drawing both girls' gazes. "You know, Sora says that he thinks Riku's still alive."

"Yeah?" Kairi asked, hope in her voice as she sniffled.

Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. He says Riku's still out there. And it's the same for Axel. I haven't seen him in over a week but I know he's out there. He'll come back," Roxas laughed at the thought of seeing Axel. His soldier friend would probably make a dramatic entrance back into his life. Yeah, he'd kick down the door, grab Roxas by the back of his head and feed him dangerous words off his tongue.

While Roxas was stunned by his daydream, Naminé and Kairi shared a deadpan look that they reserved for finalizing a patient's time of death.

* * *

><p>"You got the jitters, blondie?" Xigbar asked Demyx and bumped shoulders with the jumpy soldier. Demyx flinched and for a second Axel thought he was going to bolt. It would be slightly hilarious if Demyx ended up booking it with a terrified scream. It would also be incredibly horrible if Demyx's yelp ended up raining bullets down on them.<p>

Axel walked in step with Xemnas while Xigbar and Demyx brought up the rear. Saix's group was supposedly up ahead, ready to alert Xemnas via the handheld radio in the General's hand. The radio was silent as the dust strewn streets of Twilight Town. Still, Axel held his gun aloft and crept along at Xemnas' side.

"N-nah, just cold," Demyx said and Axel heard the quiver disguised as a shiver in his friend's voice. This was actually one of the few times where Axel felt bad and it wasn't his fault at all. He didn't like the way Demyx was losing his frontlines virginity. Axel knew from the start that this mission held more tension than two cats glaring at each other before the claws came out. Xemnas and all his top dogs were summoned for this one. Maybe it was the fact that Demyx still clung to his bright spirits like a monkey to its vines. Sooner or later he'd have to touch ground though. Axel wished he could preserve Demyx's cheeriness; it was the closest thing he had to hope at the moment. Really, what was the point in throwing Demyx into this hurricane when he'd only been splashing around in the pool so far? If the battle was _so_ close to being over, why slather more blood on clean hands? Especially hands like Demyx's that made the gun look like it was vibrating in his grasp.

Axel couldn't help feeling that this whole overcast day was Xemnas just messing with him and punishing him for ruining another interrogation. Yeah right, Riku was broken. This mission was just to pull at the hardened muscles of Axel's heart.

"Sir, we've reached a blockade in a clearing just to the South. Awaiting further instructions, sir," Zexion's voice said over the radio. The rat spoke in code over the radio, but generally Axel understood what was said.

Demyx startled at the noise, setting Axel on edge. Xigbar just chuckled and Axel could hear the scarred officer clap Demyx on the shoulder.

"Calm down, blondie. I don't think Axel would appreciate being gunned down by a fellow soldier," Xigbar grated, "Or, er, that would be the case if you weren't aiming the gun at your own foot."

"Approximately how many troops are posted at the blockade?" Xemnas asked with a confident air into the radio.

"I count no more than sixty. I believe we've stretched their forces rather thin over the past month, sir," Zexion relayed. Little rat, Axel thought.

"Very well, soldier. Hold your fire until my faction is in position," Xemnas said.

"Understood," Zexion said and the radio went silent.

Xemnas clipped the radio to his belt and continued to lead his patrol forward. Axel warily followed at the General's side. In a low voice Xemnas spoke to Axel.

"I expect full compliance today, soldier."

"That's funny, I thought you expected that every day," Axel quipped and Xemnas regarded him with narrowed eyes. What could Xemnas do about Axel's mouthing off? Nothing immediately at least and to Axel's surprise Xemnas ignored the barb.

"That is correct, however, there have been times when you have rejected commands and became a deterrent force to the Organization. Your comrades need you to be a protective and blazing force. It is your heart that carries others to victory and the strength of it that paves a road for progress," Xemnas locked eyes with Axel for a couple paces before slowly bowing his head. "If you use your strengths correctly you could end the war with your comrades."

"Will that be today or the next prophesized armistice day, huh? Should I mark it down on my calendar? Hope it doesn't fall near my birthday," Axel said bitterly. Xemnas was trying to piss him off just as much as Axel was trying to piss off his superior. Xemnas was just a little sneakier and far more eloquent about it.

Xemnas chuckled that hollow laugh and the cool air freezing his breath only affirmed Axel's suspicions that his superior was a walking, breathing fridge.

"This opportunity has always been present, ah, think of it like air; it is always there yet we never see it. At anytime we can hold our breaths and deny ourselves air but still it is present. And yes, you may hold your breath for a long time but eventually your mind will force you to breathe," Xemnas grinned at the thought and Axel's organs crawled with every word. "The mind is a very interesting system, much like the heart. Both organs can force one to act."

"So basically I've been walking around blue faced and no one's told me? Demyx, how could you? I thought we were friends," Axel said, looking over his shoulder at a bewildered Demyx.

"I wasn't really gonna shoot you, man!" Demyx griped and looked plaintively at Xigbar whose laughter in no way helped.

Xemnas chuckled darkly too and took all of Axel's enjoyment out of the joke.

"Perhaps you have been and perhaps some of your comrades have dropped hints at your airless state. Today either your heart or your mind will force you to act. For your sake and all those on the battlefield I hope you choose the correct organ," Xemnas said mysteriously and called the patrol to a halt. To the group at large Xemnas said, "Take your positions men."

* * *

><p>"Roxas, wait!" Kairi yelled as she ran past the startled guards at the hospital's doorway and down the steps to Roxas. He turned to see her holding something in her hand.<p>

"Did I forget something?" Roxas asked, looking down at his bag to see if any of the pouches were unzipped.

"Nah, just something I thought of," Kairi said as she stopped before him. She pointed to his upper arm. "Hold it out for a moment."

Roxas complied, a little confused as Kairi wrapped a white piece of cloth around his forearm.

"There! Now you're just like me!" she said, standing back proudly with her hands on her hips.

"Huh?"

"The armband marks you as a medic, just like me," she said, twisting to show him her own armband. "The ironic thing is that at the same time as it marks you it also _un_marks you. Field medics and nurses are non-combatants so we aren't supposed to be targeted. Without it you'd be just a regular soldier."

"Oh. Thanks, Kairi," Roxas said, smiling down at the band and then at her.

"Not a problem. It's about the only charm that seems to provide luck these days," she said a little sadly. "Today hasn't been too bad though. Not many gunshots or enemy sightings."

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad getting into town. I didn't see anyone until I was about five minutes from the hospital."

"Really?" Kairi asked disbelievingly. "That's odd...did you not have to check in with our soldiers at the gate?"

"No, I tried getting through there yesterday but they wouldn't let me in so I went through the really destroyed part of town. It was kind of sad to see all those houses ruined."

"Roxas, that's where most of the fighting takes place," she scolded and shook her head adamantly as she said, "You can't go that way, it's too dangerous. If you get hurt who's going to take care of Sora?"

"Gee, sorry. How was I supposed to know that? Um, even more importantly, which way should I go so you don't bite my head off?"

Kairi laughed and took his arm, leading him towards her jeep.

"I'll show you, silly."

Kairi hopped into the driver's seat and opened the passenger side for Roxas. She started the jeep up and they slowly made their way into the rubble spotted streets. She couldn't drive all that fast with soldiers milling about, watching for potential danger. Ever since the Organization had taken Riku, security had tightened around the hospital so that it had about as many soldiers as headquarters. Kairi relaxed her grip on the steering wheel. She needed to focus on what she could do now not what she should have done. She braked at a blockade set up by Twilight Town soldiers and put the jeep in park a couple metres away. She turned to Roxas with a bittersweet smile on her face, Roxas responded likewise. They reached over, Roxas laughed when his seatbelt pulled him back so he undid it and completed the hug.

"God, I don't know what to say, Roxas. I think I should just say everything on my mind but that would take forever. I guess..." Kairi let go of Roxas with her one arm and rubbed at her eyes. "I guess the most important things to say are watch out and make it back to Sora okay, and take care of him. Both of you take care. Y-you boys can be s-such _idiots_."

"Yeah, I know," Roxas murmured into her hair. He squeezed her tight once more and they released. Roxas opened the door and twisted to bark teasingly, "Straighten up, soldier. Save the tears for Riku's homecoming and Sora's return to good health."

Kairi gave a watery laugh as she pawed at her eyes. Roxas hopped from the jeep and the moment his feet touched the ground the snow started falling, as did the bullets.

* * *

><p>Xemnas had ordered Xigbar to take Demyx up on the roofs of the crumbling houses while Axel stuck by Xemnas on foot. The General was leading Axel a little farther ahead of where Xigbar and Demyx were camped when Zexion spoke from the radio on Xemnas' belt.<p>

"Sir, _the key_ has been spotted on the South side of the blockade."

Axel missed a step and faltered next to Xemnas before cursing at himself and picking up his feet. He didn't understand those words and now he was wondering if he had understood the coded words at all. He had little time to think on riddles when Xemnas continued to race them forward.

Xemnas' lip curled as he picked up the radio and with a slight pause, as if savouring the information Zexion had served, he responded, "Open fire and isolate _the key_."

"Understood."

"Follow my lead, soldier. Xigbar and Demyx will be following along the rooftops," Xemnas said to Axel as they began to jog down the streets. The clouds released their first load of snow as Axel dug into his first clip of ammo.

* * *

><p>Kairi screamed Roxas' name and leaned on the horn, trying to call him back. The only thing that came to her was rounds upon rounds of bullets. Her jeep hissed indignantly as the bullets wormed their way into the metal.<p>

Roxas had heard Kairi but there was little he could do as the soldiers around him surged forward. He wasn't quite sure how, but eventually Roxas ended up in a derelict alleyway, a little disoriented from all the shoving and screaming. The bullets weren't falling there, but from the roof descended an impossibly large hooded figure in a black trench coat. Roxas stumbled backwards, falling against the wall as the figure rushed forward. The Organization member was so burly Roxas half expected the ground to shake and the man to let out a bear-like roar. Instead he heard a fierce shriek like that of a descending eagle and another figure landed beside the bear sized one and shoved the larger one against the wall.

"WHAT THE FUCK LEXEAUS?" she roared at the larger figure who had merely stumbled against the alley wall at the female Organization member's body slam.

Roxas didn't stick around to figure out what the infighting was all about. With his duffle bag weighing him down and knocking frustratingly at his back, Roxas fled in the direction he thought the city wall was.

* * *

><p>Axel leapt over rubble piles and darted past clusters of soldiers. Some of the Twilight Town soldiers had somehow escaped the raining bullets and now ran into the black cloaked arms of the Organization. He managed to always stay only a couple steps behind Xemnas as the General wound his way through the bullets and haze. Axel was entirely focused on Xemnas' back and didn't take note of the little chips of brick exploding from the walls he ran between. He thought he heard Zexion say something through the radio over the din of battle, but he had no idea what the little rat was saying to the General. All he knew was that Xemnas barked up at Xigbar and Demyx, who ran along the roofs, to follow him and Axel down a side street where the bullets still flew but the soldiers were less. Xemnas rolled across the street and ducked behind a broken down wall. Axel did the same and crouched beside Xemnas, suddenly aware in the confined space of how heavy he was breathing.<p>

There was a terrified scream and from the corner of his eye Axel saw a black coated figure fall like a very solid leaf from the rooftop several metres ahead of where he and Xemnas crouched. A moment later a second black coated figure dropped onto the street on his feet and dragged Demyx to relative safety behind an unsettled mailbox. Xigbar crouched over Demyx, gave a thumbs up to the General before casually shooting three enemy soldiers that were coming down the road. So Xigbar wasn't lying about his amazing aim, Axel thought astonished.

Gunshots could still be heard and every once in a while a stray bullet would _zing_ down the street Xemnas' team occupied, but for the moment the road remained deserted. Axel caught his breath while Xemnas shouted over the din into the radio.

Axel looked over to where Xigbar and Demyx were huddled. Xigbar was trying to calm Demyx down while the blond soldier clutched at his leg and writhed on the ground, turning the thin cover of snow red.

"Axel! Axel! Get a hold of yourself," Xemnas ordered and dragged Axel to his feet. Axel's eyes were still locked on Demyx and worry for his friend plugged his ears and clouded his mind.

"This is no time to grieve when the enemy is approaching, soldier," Xemnas snarled, breaking Axel's fixation on Demyx. Up ahead a lone soldier was headed their way. Axel raised his gun but paused when he realized that the enemy was unarmed.

* * *

><p>Roxas was panting hard and his hands and knees were bruised and blackened from stumbling over patches of ice, debris and – he didn't really want to think about the squelching noises his boots made as he tripped over what he forced himself to believe were bags of sand or dirt. In a couple months that's all they'd be anyway – Roxas blinked hard and slid onto a deserted street, his duffle bag swung wildly and caused him to stretch his legs to keep his balance.<p>

The street kind of looked familiar...maybe to the left was the exit? Gunfire from behind caused him to jump and bolt in the direction his body thought was best for his safety. He was caught off guard when a black coated figure rose from behind a pile of toppled bricks and cement. His pace stuttered and the duffle bag caused him to spin out and land agonizingly on his knee. He bit back a yelp, but what would it matter? The Organization's members were only blind to their cruelty, not actually sightless, he thought fearfully.

* * *

><p>"I'd say the enemy isn't approaching anymore," Axel said a little shakily, the adrenaline cooling in his blood.<p>

Xemnas nodded to Axel and called out to Xigbar, ordering the sharpshooter not to shoot. Xigbar gave a quick salute to the General and went back to helping Demyx lean against the mailbox.

* * *

><p>Miraculously the Organization soldier didn't shoot. Wow, the armband must really be lucky, Roxas thought. He had to use both his hands to push himself back up to his feet and he wobbled when he put pressure on his wrenched knee. Bullets reverberated off the alley walls that he came from so he looked for another way out. Just past a toppled mailbox there was another road. Would it be pushing his luck to walk closer to the Organization soldiers and sneak down the other street? Slowly Roxas limped along, his heart pounding in his ears.<p>

* * *

><p>"He's on the move again," Xemnas said, coming to stand up next to Axel with his hands clasped behind his back.<p>

Axel looked at Xemnas, more than a little confused. Don't shoot, do shoot; what the hell did he _want_ Axel to do?

Axel squinted at the little guy hobbling like a one-legged bird with broken wings. The soldier had a white band around his arm; so he was a field medic then. Axel lowered his gun again.

"Keep your gun up, soldier," Xemnas' deep voice rumbled.

"Why? Kid's a medic and not a very good one since he can't even heal his limp," Axel said, looking over his shoulder and surprised to see and hear...nothing. "Aren't we a little far from the main battlefield?"

"Hey! HEY! General!" Xigbar shouted urgently. Snagging Axel and Xemnas' attention, Xigbar pointed to the limping soldier drawing steadily nearer. "He's got a big bag on him. Don't know if I'd trust it's just pain pills and cotton swabs in there."

"Raise your gun, soldier," Xemnas said calmly to Axel.

* * *

><p>The wolves were closing in. Roxas could hear screams from behind him and he had to put his faith in the fact that he'd come this far down the street and the opposing soldiers had not shot him. He had no clue what side the people behind him were on.<p>

Terror just about stopped his heart when he saw the Organization member at the end raise his gun and aim directly at him. Then the strangest sensation overcame his body. He felt soothed when he recognized that shock of long red hair sneaking out from beneath the Organization cap.

"Axel!" Roxas screamed. He tried waving his arm but the motion made his feet slip in the snow.

"AXEL!" Roxas roared as bullets clattered down the street from behind him.

"STOP IT!" a familiar voice shrieked from behind. _Kairi_, Roxas thought.

Roxas had eyes only for Axel and Axel was yelling something but...Roxas couldn't hear over the racket behind him.

* * *

><p>"Don't come any closer!" Axel yelled warningly to the lone soldier. "Hey! I said stop! Please don't make me pull the trigger, kid."<p>

"Axel, shoot," Xemnas said calmly.

"He's a medic."

"He's an enemy."

"He looks like a kid."

"Would you trust a child with a gun to not shoot? Either way he's a weapon."

"He hasn't got a gun, _sir_."

* * *

><p>Roxas didn't understand. Why wasn't Axel lowering the gun? <em>The uniform<em>. Axel wasn't expecting Roxas to even be in Twilight Town let alone dressed as a Twilight Town soldier. Fear kicked up new leaves in his heart and desperately he tried to think of a way to let him know. The bullets started up from behind again, but in fewer numbers and with more precision. Kairi screamed at them to stop, that they could wait until Roxas was out of the way.

An idea struck Roxas. He clumsily tore off the medic band and flagged Axel down with it. White meant surrender, right?

* * *

><p>"What is that nutcase doing?" Axel mused, trying to figure out exactly what Goddamn force in the universe was driving that kid forward.<p>

"Well, you should have no qualms with shooting him now. He's no longer a medic," Xemnas said coldly.

"Like that fucking matters," Axel snarled. His gut was telling him with all the sternness of a mother hen that he should not shoot.

"General, c'mon! His own soldiers aren't advancing with the guy. Something's wrong here," Xigbar shouted.

"W-what's going on?" Demyx asked, trying to sitting up and banging his knee. He fell back down in a heap of pain.

"Hey, idiot! Behind you!" Xigbar yelled while pointing behind Axel.

Twilight Town soldiers streamed from the street behind him. Axel whirled on them but Xigbar was faster. He struck three down with no problem but the other two got him as he got them.

"Xigbar!" Axel and Demyx screamed in unison. Demyx crawled over to Xigbar and pressed his ear to the older officer's lips. Slowly he pulled his head away and it seemed to Axel that Demyx was as unable to lift his head as he was to stand on his busted leg.

In a blind rage Axel turned back to the ridiculous soldier trying to flag him down, begging him for mercy, mocking Axel's pleas for him to stay.

"Don't waste any bullets," Xemnas said calmly.

A funny thing happened as Axel pulled the trigger. Everything in his chest tightened, his muscles coiled so tightly together that he thought his bones might snap from the tension. He thought he was going to be sick.

Roxas felt only one heartbeat of fear before pain ripped through his legs, arms, abdomen and chest..._So this is how Sora felt when he was shot._ Roxas collapsed.

Axel felt very _something_ inside...very wrong.

"Let go of me! Axel, you _fucking fool!_" Larxene shrieked as Lexaeus held her arms in chicken wing style.

"Roxas!" a female field medic shrieked from the other end of the street as she fell to her knees and tried to crawl to the soldier Axel had shot, to...

"ROXAS!" Axel roared, leaping the pile of rubble and tearing down the street. Uncertain bullets snarled past Axel and in a perverse way he hoped they would burrow into his legs. He'd still run through the pain, the pain he deserved. When he reached Roxas' body – no! He wasn't a body yet. There was still life...

"Roxas, I-I-I..." Axel croaked as he knelt in the red snow. More bullets _zing_ed around him.

"Fucking stop!" Axel snarled at both sides but neither would listen. Axel grabbed hold of Roxas and dragged him to an indented doorway. They couldn't get him there, they would have privacy. "Roxas..."

Roxas moaned as his head lolled backwards. Axel swiftly put his hand under Roxas' head to support him. Oh God, his eyes were still open and tears were leaking out from the pain, not from fear. Axel couldn't bear it if Roxas were staring at him with fear. Roxas was too brave for fear.

"Ow..." Roxas said meekly and thickly through the blood creeping up his throat. Where was he? It was too warm for him to be lying in the snow. He put everything into focusing on the figure. The face bobbing before his eyes had really green eyes. "Axel."

Axel bowed his head into Roxas' shoulder and drew in a shaky breath. Like an ashamed dog he whined into Roxas' shoulder, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Roxas. I'm so sorry, please..."

"I thought it was you, that's good. Where have you been?" Roxas asked, probably one of the few sane things that he would utter. His head felt very light, like that surreal stage before sleep.

"U-uh, off being an idiot. Roxas, I never meant-"

"I waited..."

"Oh, Roxas, I know. I just-"

"Sora couldn't wait any longer."

With a low whine Axel pulled Roxas closer to his body, the blond boy's blood seeped into Axel's uniform.

"I knew I'd see you again," Roxas murmured in the other's ear, his head rested on Axel's shoulder.

Axel drew away from Roxas and looked down at his face. It was really hard to see...Axel wiped his tears away and tried to fix a smile on his lips. Roxas echoed that smile, but as if he were remembering that he had just been shot the smile turned to a pained grimace.

Weird thoughts kept popping into Roxas' mind. Thoughts of Sora lying sickly in bed, of Axel's shadowy figure and sweaty in his hallway. He had a knife to Axel's throat. Axel's hands were on either side of his head and his stomach rubbed against Roxas'. They were in the barn and Roxas leaped, oh yeah, his hand – Roxas was having trouble lifting his hand so Axel helped him raise it. Roxas saw the blood on his palm and gasped. Axel uncertainly stared at Roxas' hand before he gently brushed the blood away, but Roxas wasn't looking at his hand anymore. Axel brought Roxas' palm to his lips and kissed the faint scar. He tasted copper from Roxas' blood and salt from his own tears.

"Everything..." Roxas said hoarsely.

"Roxas, what-"

"You're my hero," Roxas whispered and Axel swore Roxas was looking straight into his eyes, but he knew Roxas couldn't see anymore.

That time at the river...Axel thought. _Okay, fine. It was stupid and I could have died but, we still got a good laugh out of it. And I got a badass scar._

Axel bowed his head to Roxas' cooling chest and his body shook as though he was laughing. In fact, he was laughing at first.

"I-I'm not your h-hero Roxas," Axel laughed and sobbed into Roxas' chest. Then Axel gave up on laughing and the sadness swallowed all his thoughts.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Oh boy...I'm not exactly sure what to say to you guys. This is a sad chapter and I suppose this is where my fic deviates from the song it's influenced by. I guess I also worry that Axel may be out of character if he cries, but I reason that he isn't a Nobody and what has happened is pretty upsetting. I suppose I'm also worried about upsetting you guys. Because of this chapter I wasn't sure what to label this fic as. In the beginning it's a romance, then it becomes angst, now it's tragic angst and as it goes on it will become angst and a little insanity, I suppose. Of course there is a little bit of comedy throughout too, but that's been shadowed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** I don't have much to say, but I do need to give a big thank you to you guys. My worries were exaggerated over the last chapter and I shouldn't have doubted you wonderful. I'm pretty sure you know who you are ;) Have a good day!**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>The Mourning After<strong>

He held Roxas as tightly to his chest as he could, vainly believing he could push some of his own wasted heart into the boy's body. He was painfully aware that the only breath he could see in the cold air was his own.

Yeah, he got the message loud and clear. He'd fucked up. His fucking up didn't start with Roxas' death but it sure as hell would end with it. Now, just how would he end it without his compass?

Axel lifted his face from where it was buried against Roxas' throat and softly cursed himself. In his selfish mourning he'd neglected Roxas; the boy's blue eyes remained open, reflecting the snow that fell steadily beyond the secluded entrance. Axel wiped the blood from his fingers before he slid Roxas' eyelids closed. He tried to tidy Roxas' face and hair but his own hands were so painted with blood it was like trying to wipe a slate clean with a chalk coated brush. His ears and eyes were closed to the world and his lips were on Roxas' forehead when a banshee like scream went up not three feet in front of him.

"What the hell gives you the right to be here?" a Twilight Town field medic shrieked at Axel. Her scornful eyes dripped tears down her angry, red cheeks. Her fingers worked at her sides, raring to scratch out Axel's eyes or perhaps simply rip Roxas' body from Axel's grasp. Axel affirmed his grip on Roxas. He couldn't care less about what this chick wanted to do so long as the shell of Roxas stayed with him. Her eyes narrowed at Axel's tightened grip. "You have _no right_ t-to be holding him. You did this! _You did this!_"

"Yeah, I know," Axel said dully. He lifted his head to look through bleary and tired eyes at the girl. She looked familiar, maybe a friend of Sora's? The smouldering glare she gave him jogged his memory. She had been in the room with Riku when he'd stormed the hospital. She must be Riku's friend and if she knew Riku she probably knew Sora so maybe she knew why Roxas had been in Twilight Town that day.

Axel cleared the lump from his throat and asked, "Why was Roxas here? Why in a uniform?"

He noticed the girl's lip tremble and she seemed to have trouble holding her head up. "The uniform's Riku's. Roxas had to get supplies because Riku isn't around to do it, in case you didn't know."

"Yeah, I deserve that," Axel said, trying to smile but the weight in his arms pulled it down.

"You deserve a lot more than that, Axel," she said and she almost sounded sympathetic. "You're under arrest by the way. Your comrades retreated while you – while you were with Roxas."

"Figures," Axel scoffed. Holding Roxas' body in his arms, Axel managed to stand up. Kairi backed up, wary of him, but her gaze softened when Axel awkwardly shrugged off his coat and draped it over Roxas. "Just don't want him to get covered in snow. Alright, take me away."

* * *

><p>No surprise to Axel, he was stripped of his weapons and put in a cell that was a couple feet bigger than the cell's at the Organization headquarters. The Twilight Town soldiers glowered at him but never beat him. They did take Roxas away, again no surprise to him.<p>

The solitude in the moonlit cell was worse than physical torture, Axel thought. Over and over he kept seeing Roxas limping down the street, waving at him desperately and, though he tried to change the ending, Axel always ended up pulling the trigger. Why did he have to do that? For hours that scene played in his head and he wished the Twilight Town soldiers would come to his cell and hit the stop button for good. He had killed his reason for fighting, so what would he do now? Where would he put all his energy?

There was a soft clanging on the bars of the cell causing Axel to lift his head from his knees. Kairi stood by the door looking down on him with cold eyes while a blonde girl, Naminé, Axel remembered, stood at her side smiling limply like a waterlogged flower. Her eyes were red rimmed.

"Are you hurt?" Kairi asked curtly.

"If I said yes would you heal me?" Axel asked through a cracked voice. He hadn't cried in years, he had forgotten how it plugged his nose and clogged his throat.

"Of course," Kairi almost spat, "_we're_ not the Organization."

"Fair enough," Axel nodded. A tired smirk spread in the corner of his mouth. "So I guess the chances of you lining me up against a wall and shooting me are pretty slim, huh?"

"Your humour is as sick as your morals," Kairi sighed but she didn't walk away. Axel watched her kick lightly at the bars of his cage and stare down at her foot without really seeming to see. Naminé put her hand on Kairi's shoulder.

"Please, Axel, we just want closure. What happened to Riku?" Naminé asked, no accusations or blame in her voice. "Please."

"That...I'm not one hundred percent sure about," Axel said, rubbing the back of his neck uncertainly.

"What do you mean?" Kairi asked, looking at Axel again.

"Just what I said; I have no idea what's happened to him in the last couple days."

"But before the last few days...are you saying he was alive until then?"

"Yeah," Axel laughed dryly, "That bastard just doesn't give up."

Kairi leaned forward, her hands came up to grip the bars with a white knuckled clasp.

"So he could be alive?"

"Maybe."

"Why are you being so difficult?" Kairi whined in an anguished voice. Axel stared at her steadily and with sympathy in his eyes. "Haven't you done enough? Isn't there enough blood on your hands? Or do you want to try and wash it off with other people's tears? I've had enough of this! Enough of you, enough of the Organization and enough of the war. Enough! No. More. Tricks."

"Kairi, it is Kairi, right? I feel you, babe. No, I seriously do," Axel said when she scoffed. "I could say it a million different ways but you summed it up nicely. And it's not like my regretting will erase the past."

"Axel, I know you didn't want to hurt Roxas. I remember how you defended me just because Roxas was upset," Naminé said gently, her face touched with a subdued happiness at the memory. Axel didn't reply; he couldn't. He felt like anything he said would splatter Naminé's pure words and he'd butchered enough lambs today.

"The Organization gets its recruits young because you're still impressionable and you believe you're invincible," Naminé whispered honestly, as if she actually had knowledge on the subject, "Even someone like you who doesn't let people mould him, can't help but be reformed anyway. I'm sorry, but when you wear that uniform you're not you. You're just another part of the Organization."

Man did those words sound familiar. Axel closed his eyes briefly as he remembered one night when he crouched over Riku with his arm wrapped around the other boy's neck. _You're just one part of the Organization's body and don't even pretend that you're the mind._ Well, he was out of Xemnas' hands now but he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. If he was back at the Organization's headquarters Xemnas would probably be ordering him around like his own personal puppet. And with Roxas' death, Axel would feel just as lifeless as a puppet. But behind the brick walls and bars of the Twilight Town army, all Axel could do was stew in his mistakes.

"Damn you're one smart girl, Naminé," Axel said, a weak grin shining through his grey thoughts. He'd been used more than he thought he'd been using. Zexion might have been his comrade but Xemnas divided them with his surging influence like a wide river. Axel had a feeling that Larxene was just as aware of Xemnas' stranglehold but she seemed to have thought she had something Axel didn't. Something that she could cross Xemnas with while she would be kept safe and dry. And Axel had fought Xemnas with his own headstrong flare. He was always struggling against the current and never once did he notice that even though he struggled he still hadn't been holding his position. For months he'd been slipping steadily backwards but the thought of success, of somehow reaching Roxas this way, was clear in his mind. He should have just stayed with Roxas. Even if Xemnas himself had stormed the farmhouse and ordered everyone within it shot, at least Axel wouldn't have pulled the trigger himself. He could blame Zexion and Xemnas but he had killed Roxas, not them.

Naminé had said exactly what he should have realized long ago. In some ways he had seen the sheer drop in his path and felt the tug of the fall. There was no doubt that he didn't feel the impact of his actions that day but it was Naminé who assessed and diagnosed him. Now what was the cure?

Axel got to his feet stiffly, swaying a little as he moved to lean against the bars. Kairi pulled her face away indignantly while Naminé titled her head to try to see Axel's face. With a jagged but rapid movement, Axel had a hand clamped over Naminé's mouth and snaked his other around her tiny waist. Kairi jumped back at first, believing she was the intended target. Axel squeezed and wrung her little body, causing Naminé to sob.

"You let her GO!" Kairi yelled, rushing forward furiously.

Axel blinked once at Kairi and then lowered his mouth to whisper something in Naminé's ear. Her sobs stopped and her eyes grew wide. Naminé nodded once, very slowly. Axel removed his hand from her mouth and waist. Kairi reached out her arm without taking a step nearer to Axel and pulled Naminé into an encompassing embrace.

"Kairi, give me the keys to Axel's cell," Naminé whispered into Kairi's neck.

"Naminé! What are-"

"Kairi, please," the nurse begged and pushed away from her friend. She steadily gazed into Kairi's eyes, a fire kindling there. Kairi slowly reached into her pocket and dropped the keys into Naminé's cupped hands.

Kairi tensed as Naminé unlocked Axel's cell and let the door swing wide open. Axel strode out, hobbling a little from the cramping in his legs.

"Thanks, Nams. Now, you do your part and make it look good," Axel threw over his shoulder as he walked down the hall. He paused and turned around with a sly grin on his lips. "I'll keep my promise but you've gotta keep yours, even if I don't come back, okay?"

Naminé nodded, tears sprang to her eyes.

"That's right. Play up the tears. The boys are gonna love it."

With that, Axel left the girls and snuck out of Twilight Town headquarters. Thankfully the moon's light was dimmed with the beginnings of a blizzard.

* * *

><p>He had run to the edge of town with a handful of the supplies Naminé had brought to his cell stuffed in his pockets. He was headed towards the farmhouse when a voice spoke amidst the shells of dark houses.<p>

"So, you broke free then. That's quite impressive, Axel," Zexion said as he stepped into the flurries of snow.

Axel was startled at first, thinking that the Twilight Town soldiers had been posted in this area for some strange reason. When he recognized Zexion, hands tucked neatly in his pockets and the wind lifting up his hair causing him to duck his chin at its bite, Axel wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or shove Zexion to the ground. Maybe he was just displacing his emotions by desiring to hurt Zexion, but he felt a splinter of truth in the belief that Zexion was somehow to blame for Roxas' death.

Axel breezed past Zexion, casually throwing over his shoulder, "I've got my dirty, little ways and you've certainly got yours."

"And it's good fortune that you do," Zexion said and followed Axel with a couple steps between them. It was a smart thing to do on Zexion's since Axel just might strangle him. Axel winced as he realized he may just end up hurting his former friend, even if he didn't fully believe Zexion had a hand in Roxas' death. Zexion continued explaining himself as they walked, "I was sent to rescue you. The General is worried."

"That's adorable. Tell him he can keep the sympathy card and flowers."

"Of course, the others are worried. Demyx, though he had a bullet jammed in his leg, was very reluctant to leave you in the town."

Axel just grunted and kept walking briskly. He wished the snow would get out of his face and lie on the ground, then Zexion's shorter legs would have more of a time with keeping up. He wondered how long Zexion would dog him for. After several tense metres of traipsing through two feet of snow across a blustery moor, Zexion spoke again.

"Officer Xigbar is dead."

"Yeah?" Axel asked, though he wasn't really surprised. It was upsetting news but given his dislike for Zexion, he couldn't help but feel more pissed off than saddened.

"He died in the street. Demyx was with him and received his final words."

"And what was old one-eye's dying advice?"

Zexion was silent for a moment and Axel thought that the other soldier was quieted by sadness. However, he finally replied in a frustrated tone, "I don't know. Demyx wouldn't say. He said it was directed at himself and at you and that you should hear it first."

Axel braved the snow and wind to tilt his grinning face up at the sky.

"Pisses you off being denied information, doesn't it?" Axel teased.

"We all have different pursuits," Zexion replied delicately.

"Zexion, please take this the wrong way and fuck off," Axel came to a forceful stop with his feet planted solidly in the ankle deep snow.

Zexion was prepared for the stop and so came to stand before Axel in a relaxed manner that didn't suggest offence or defence. So Zexion thought he'd be the bigger man and take what Axel had to say with poise. Axel had little use for poise and poetry.

"You're still upset then," Zexion said lightly.

"Yeah, I am, Zex. And I'm gonna be for a long time. In fact I doubt I'll ever get over this," Axel fought for control over his anger. Losing it in front of someone who only ever hinted at emotion just seemed inappropriate, like a child raging while the teacher just nodded and sighed. He couldn't hold back his feelings for long though as he said with a barely suppressed agony, "Roxas was not only my best friend, man, he was the guy I loved...ha, and I don't think I ever told him that. Then again, that blond headed bastard never said it to me either. Guess we never really needed to, I mean no one needs to point out there's air around to breathe, you just do it."

Axel snorted at himself for pretty much quoting Xemnas. Then he laughed at how true Xemnas' words were; he had been walking around airlessly and Roxas had taken the hit.

Axel stood, still in his defensive stance, his black coat flapping energetically against his stiff legs as he looked down at the snow.

"That was quite eloquent," Zexion replied quietly.

"Yeah, well, screw eloquent and screw you, you weasely ass. I might have pulled the trigger but I'm sure as shot to hell that you're one of Xemnas' little muscles or neurowhatevers that helped me do it."

"You are not wrong."

"Nope," Axel said, turning his back on Zexion, "but I am gone."

"To the farmhouse?" Zexion questioned and followed Axel a couple more steps.

"Yup."

"Why, Axel? Why not return to the Organization?"

"Xemnas still wants me?" Axel asked, stopped by surprise this time.

"I believe it was made clear to you yesterday morning that you are quite an important force to the Organization. I was sent to retrieve you, that should say something too," Zexion said with a subtle nod to Axel.

"Well, go back without me. I need to visit Roxas' room just once more. You know, while his soul still lingers," Axel said vaguely.

"I see," Zexion said with narrowed eyes but left it at that. Axel just hung his head and tried to look depressed which wasn't all that hard. "You'll find your way back to headquarters by morning, then?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a moment to breathe. Xemnas will have his lapdog back in a few short hours," Axel said, waving Zexion away.

"Very well," Zexion dipped his head in understanding. "The General will expect you in his office by 9 am tomorrow morning."

Axel watched to make sure Zexion actually walked away before sighing heavily. With a loud curse he rammed his toes into the frozen ground, making them throb. The pain subsided and became almost a warm feeling. Yeah, he thought, it'd all be over soon.

* * *

><p>For old times' sake, Axel entered the farmhouse via Roxas' window. He hadn't intended to actually visit Roxas' room like he said he would, mainly because he thought it would be hard to leave. And it was. Axel figured that if Sora was going to kick it in the next ten minutes then there was nothing the pocketful of pills and Band-Aids could do to save him.<p>

Axel sat on the edge of Roxas' bed, as if there was a sick person who he wished to comfort in it. Axel didn't go to church and never really prayed to anyone in particular, but he really wished that something, be it angel or fire-spewing demon, would tell him that Roxas was nearby. He sat very still and very stiff with hunched shoulders, waiting to for a sign, to feel that _something_ mourners always talked about. That breeze in a locked room or warm breath on his cheek or just the pressure one feels in the presence of another person. Axel laughed scathingly. Maybe his morality had been drained too much so that he couldn't feel a spiritual presence even if it shook the house to its foundation.

Axel pushed himself off the bed, ran his fingers along the covers as he made his way to the door. Nah, he thought, people who just can't take the reality cling to material things. Axel's hand froze when he reached the head of the bed. He thought he'd felt – Axel looked down at Roxas' pillow but of course no mop of blond hair was there. He made his way over to Sora's room.

* * *

><p>It was around two in the morning when Axel got back to base, but he veered away from the sleeping quarters and made his way to the infirmary instead. He was quite tired but his exhaustion went so far into his bones that he thought he'd have to sleep for days in order to chase it out.<p>

The hospital ward wasn't guarded, which was either cruelty on the Organization's part or trust in the Twilight Town's soldiers. Probably the latter, Axel thought as he walked through the doors and crept down the aisles between the beds, peering at half-covered and snoring figures until he found the man he was looking for. It wasn't that hard considering Demyx had kept his bedside lamp on, but still managed to fall asleep. His leg was thickly casted and suspended in the air, making his body look even more awkward in his sprawled out sleep form.

Axel knelt down on one knee and whispered in Demyx's ear, "Did you keep a candle burning just for me?"

As Demyx startled awake, Axel clapped a hand over his mouth and another on the blonde boy's chest to stop him from rolling out of bed. Once Demyx was awake enough to recognize his friend, he ripped Axel's hand excitedly off his mouth.

"Alright, Zexion! He got you free pretty quickly."

A patient two beds away from Demyx rolled over and sighed in her sleep. Axel shushed Demyx by putting a finger to his lips.

"Yeah, something like that," Axel chuckled darkly. Demyx's face fell, creating prominent shadows in the corners of his frowning lips.

"So...you heard about Xigbar then?" Demyx asked quietly, his head bowed with the weight of the unsaid words.

"Yeah..."

"Did Zexion tell you...?"

"Yeah."

Demyx fiddled with his blankets, looking down at his lap while Axel knelt beside the bed with his head bent as if preparing to be knighted.

"He didn't exactly say our names in particular but I-I _think_, at the very least, he meant you."

"Demyx, man, you were his favourite. I'm pretty sure the words were for you. Well, unless he went down cussing someone out. Then it was totally for me," Axel joked and they shared a quiet chuckle.

"Yeah, he swore a bit, but I think that might have had something to do with being shot. If I hadn't slipped off the roof and face planted on the sidewalk, I would have sworn plenty too. Getting shot _sucks_."

Axel swallowed hard and tried to grunt out a laugh but it sounded more like the final gagging moments of a choking person.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Demyx nearly yelled, causing more people to roll over and groan in their sleep. To the room at large, Demyx embarrassedly whispered, "Sorry...but, Axel, in all seriousness, I am really sorry. Like for real, I'm so sorry."

Axel kept his head bowed and asked, "What did old Xiggy have to say?"

"Oh, uh, h-hold on! I'll remember. Geez, I think those sleeping pills they tried to make me swallow make you forgetful, or maybe that was the face plant into the sidewalk...Right!" Demyx's brows furrowed and he took a deep breath before saying quite bravely, his only facial betrayal a quivering lip. "Xigbar said 'I taught you boys better but I'm the one that's dying so I guess you learned pretty well' and he mumbled a couple other things about smartass kids and told us to visit sometime."

Axel had to put a hand to his mouth to keep his laughter quiet. He covered the rest of his face with his other hand out of fear that he might start tearing up. It had been a long, rough day. He suspected Xigbar would probably grin and poke fun at his laughing, but would cough embarrassedly at any tears. Axel was surprised that Demyx wasn't having the same emotional problems as him; he sat quietly, staring around the dark room and up at the ceiling to give Axel a little privacy until got a hold of himself. Maybe the hours alone in the hospital ward had provided enough time for the blond soldier to brood and breathe out Xigbar's death. Nah, Axel thought, Demyx had a certain strength that was completely his own. It came to him naturally and wasn't clothed with arrogance or attitude. Demyx's strength came in his ability to take things lightly. Axel suspected Xigbar admired this in Demyx and, to some extent, in Axel as well.

Axel sighed as he lowered his back against the wall and put his knees up to rest his arms and tired head on. Demyx slouched in his bed too and yawned freely.

"Larxene got in trouble yesterday," Demyx said through a yawn.

Axel recalled her scream loud and clear, and vaguely that she was being restrained but he had more important things to worry about than Larxene's bitch fit.

"Yeah, did she get a detention?" Axel joshed, catching Demyx's yawn. After a short but sluggish contemplation, Axel remarked, "I'll probably get one too."

"I don't know what she did or what she got for it but the General wasn't happy."

"That's okay. When Xemnas is happy is when you should worry," and Axel's eyes closed.

* * *

><p>"Get up, soldier! You've kept the General waiting long enough," a gruff voice said as Axel was toed in the ribs.<p>

Axel groaned and his back creaked, unappreciative of him sleeping against a cement wall. It was difficult to open his eyes that morning, probably due to the fatigue and drudging toll tears took on his body. He gazed groggily up at Lexaeus, wishing it had been a less bearlike officer who woke him up so he could lip off unbridled by fear.

Lexaeus _humph_ed and shook his head in disapproval as Axel slowly slid up the wall.

"A soldier must fulfill his duty with an air of reserve. Your task may not be pleasant but you still must apply all your energy."

Axel yawned and used the wall to steady him on his feet. The sleep in his eyes made Lexaeus look fuzzier and less threatening.

"I don't remember any orders for today other than to see Xemnas."

"Then that is why you don't know them," Lexaeus said with his tree trunk of an arm crossing one another. "Go see the General."

Axel saluted Lexaeus and stared down at Demyx to share a smirk, but the wounded soldier was still drooling on his pillow. With a heaviness of lead engrained in his bones Axel made his way to Xemnas' office.

* * *

><p>Axel opened the General's door without knocking, trying his hardest to be as rude and uncaring as he was feeling inside, but he was barely noticed because of the number of other soldiers in Xemnas' office. Luxord was off to the side talking to Xaldin while Zexion and Vexen were standing not too far off. Much to Axel's pleasure, Vexen was sporting a black eye. He'd have to congratulate whoever did that.<p>

Saix and Xemnas had been whispering something to each other, but as Axel walked in they turned to stare at him. Both men seemed to be contemplating Axel, but Saix did so with a cold, fixed gaze whereas Xemnas was staring at him with a knowing look and a hint of a smirk. Axel was tired and frankly couldn't be bothered to rally up much emotion to glower at them with. Axel leaned up against the wall closest to the door and folded his arms. If he was going to get a lecture then he didn't want to be standing in the middle of the room. The door was the closest he could get to home.

"Axel, after much delegation I have reached a decision to remedy the offences made yesterday while on the field," Xemnas said while walking around from behind his desk to stand in the middle of the room. All eyes flickered first to Xemnas then to Axel.

"Mourning is an offence then?" Axel asked as he stared hard at Xemnas, daring him to sneer or scoff to prove to the rest of the room that he was cold and dead inside, if anyone in the room cared about that. He doubted they did with the way everyone stared impassively at him now.

"Of course not," Xemnas chuckled. The other soldiers shot weird looks at Xemnas and Axel. It was likely none of them had ever heard someone mouth off to the General nor had they ever heard the General laugh. Xemnas' eyes became quite hard as he continued. "No, mourning is not an offence. Although, I should advise you that weeping in the enemy's territory while the enemy is present is an offence to the human intellect.

"What is an offence to the Organization is disobeying orders and deserting your comrades. Your actions also caused you to be captured which wastes your time, our energy, and puts information about the Organization in danger of being discovered."

"What's my punishment then?" Axel asked with a sigh.

"There is to be an execution," Xemnas said in his deep voice and the already chilled room dropped a couple more degrees.

Axel's blood drained. He didn't know where it all went, but his heart was cold and was beating on fear instead. Is that why there are so many soldiers here? he wondered. To restrain him? Yesterday, as Roxas was cooling in his arms, Axel wouldn't have cared that he was to die. But now he had something to do first. He didn't have his gun on him or even a knife. His eyes warily floated up to meet Xemnas' but the General wasn't really looking at him, he was looking about the room.

"There are to be two executions actually. After a brief questioning," Xemnas said, nodding to Luxord who nodded back. Xemnas then looked back to Axel. "You will be the executioner, Axel."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** So, after this, only five more chapters to go. I wonder how you guys are feeling about Zexion? I didn't exactly plan him out to have a huge part, but I think he could be just as despised as Xemnas. I don't own these characters and I suppose I'm not very good at taking care of other people's property since some major damage has happened to some of Square Enix's characters.

Also, a big thanks goes out to lovelyxpeach and xoxheart for pushing what my editor lovingly called "this train wreck" further.

And this is a first for _Hero_, this chapter is just one continuous narrative. None of those horizontal line breaks. It's not all that interesting, ha ha. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Don't Be Afraid<strong>

His blood came back to him but it pumped so slowly, as if with trepidation. It peered around every corner in his veins and arteries just so uncertain of the cocktail of emotions that boiled and sizzled. He was barely aware of Saix pressing the executioner's gun into his hands or of Luxord beckoning him forward. Vexen sneered at Axel as he followed Luxord out. When Axel didn't move, Zexion bumped arms with him and led him into the hallway.

"What's going on? What happened while I was gone?" Axel asked Zexion.

"Something that was bound to happen eventually," Zexion replied mysteriously. Axel was irritated but came to see Zexion's curtness as a personal triumph; Zexion was still pissed about Axel's comments last night. He had gotten under Zexion's skin.

Axel was going to ask Zexion something obnoxious and off topic but his breath was sealed tight as he recognized Riku being half dragged by Lexaeus into the room Luxord had disappeared into. Riku was limping heavily and lurched awkwardly when he lost his balance because his hands were tied. Axel's brain short-circuited. So Riku was alive, which he had come to believe was a good thing, however he was being led into the execution room. Apparently Xemnas was incredibly pissed. Axel now came to see that the torture he was ordered to exact on Riku was because Xemnas wanted to shatter Axel's humanity. So the execution was to further plunge Axel's morals into blood, then. Axel tried working the problem of Riku's execution over in his head like a math problem. He could shoot Riku, say he put him out of his misery, but then he would be breaking his promise to Naminé and she could rightfully break her promise to him. Or he could refuse to shoot Riku which would probably lead to Riku's death anyways as well as Axel's and as a bonus Sora would probably die too. His promise to Naminé wouldn't be fulfilled either...There was no more time to think as Zexion walked into the room and Axel had no choice but to follow him.

Axel's eyes immediately sought Riku; the Twilight Town soldier was being forced to stand in the corner of the room while Lexaeus stood imposingly next to him, one of his large hands clamped on his prisoner's shoulder. Riku stared at Axel with...pity. Axel lowered his gaze to his boots. So, Riku knew about Roxas then. When he looked back up he was careful not to look over at Riku again. He surveyed the room; it was white like the torture room, however, one wall in particular was stained a murky brownish red. The stains speckled the wall along with a couple bullet holes that burrowed into the brick. Axel looked away, feeling a little disturbed, and his gaze fell on a black coated figure slumped at the foot of the wall in the corner of the room. The person's face was covered by a black bag and his hands were tied behind his back. He was breathing steadily but in a slightly pained way.

"You have interfered with my examination, Luxord," Vexen complained, casting his fuming gaze over the person crouching in the corner. "My methods of examination are far more complex than simple brutalization. This tampers with my results."

"You'll have to speak with the General, Vexen. I didn't authorize the traitor's torture nor did I actually do it. Besides," Luxord said with a grin as he put his hand on the bag covering the person's head. "You're the rabbit in his hat. The magician knows all his own secrets; you're just the prop. It wouldn't matter how you handle him. He's probably prepared for any and all of your strings and slights of hand. Like I said, the rabbit holds no magic, only the magician does."

Luxord pulled the bag off with a flourish to reveal Marluxia. He stared wearily up at Luxord and Vexen.

"What the hell?" Axel said as he stepped forward to frown down at Marluxia confusedly. Axel looked to Luxord who stared back coolly. "Seriously, what have I missed?"

"While you were traipsing around in enemy territory this _traitor_ attempted to assassinate me," Vexen spat, pointing at Marluxia who grinned. Vexen gazed coldly upon Marluxia, his frigid eyes attempting to wilt the other man's pride. "Luckily the General was well aware of the situation."

"I believe it was Zexion who orchestrated yesterday's mission," Lexaeus said. From Lexaeus' side, Riku made a scathing, tempered noise in the back of his throat.

Instead of nodding gratefully for the praise like he usually would, Zexion's gaze flickered to Axel before he stared hard at the wall. Axel felt his blood begin to boil. He was definitely missing some puzzle pieces.

"Yes, your vanishing act had you reappear in our cage, didn't it, Marluxia?" Luxord asked.

"So it seems," Marluxia said humbly. "He truly does trust no one. The General said he was taking all the soldiers in his inner circle away for the day. I shouldn't be so surprised to say that he lied to me."

"No, especially since you are not the only wild card in the deck. Speaking of which," Luxord turned away from Marluxia and looked to the door. "She's late for a very important date."

"Where are you taking me? Goddamn it, I'm still part of the Organization. Tell me!" Larxene snarled from the hallway.

"She's as subtle as an angry rattle snake," Luxord remarked with an amused grin as he leered down on Marluxia. "Why would you ever wager your chances with her?"

"I wouldn't be so arrogant. She had you fooled for the longest time," Marluxia said as he watched Larxene be paraded into the room by Xaldin. She twisted in Xaldin's grasp and Zexion had to step away to avoid her trashing foot. Larxene paused in her tirade as Marluxia said, "Besides, I needed her more for her strength than ingenuity. Larxene, do not be afraid."

"I'm not fucking afraid, Marluxia!" she screeched, again struggling in Xaldin's grasp. Lexaeus stepped away from Riku and helped Xaldin to subdue her. Together, but with great difficulty, Lexaeus and Xaldin forced Larxene to kneel next to Marluxia. She bent to the floor with a heart-tearing scream. She pushed her back up against the wall and lashed out with her foot at Xaldin and Lexaeus. The two soldiers backed away from her, Lexaeus returning to the wall and Xaldin moving to Luxord's side.

"I think I'll stay just to be ascertained that she causes no more trouble," Xaldin chuckled dryly to Luxord.

Axel had been keeping an eye on Riku, thinking that maybe while Lexaeus and the others were distracted by Larxene he might be able to steal Riku away. Riku didn't seem all that afraid though, in fact he seemed to be looking down at Larxene and Marluxia with the same pitying expression he had looked at Axel with. Axel watched Marluxia lean to the side to whisper something to Larxene. Larxene stared hard at the wall opposite to her without blinking, like she was trying to burn a hole through it with her gaze. Every once in a while she would let something slither out of the corner of her mouth and Marluxia would pause in his whispering and continue when Larxene's mouth twisted tight again. Axel wasn't sure who he felt sorrier for; for Larxene who was trying so desperately to keep up her tough act in her final minutes or Marluxia who was trying to slip his final words through the cracks in Larxene's attitude.

"Very well, Xaldin," Luxord said with a dip of his head. He walked over to stand before Marluxia. Luxord pulled out his revolver, inserted a single bullet, spun the cylinder and pulled the hammer back as he aimed the gun at Marluxia's knee. "Let us begin.

"I believe you know the rules, Marluxia," Luxord said in a regulatory tone. "I ask you a question and you supply an answer. If you supply a worthy answer I don't supply the possibility of a bullet to your knee. Do these rules sound fair?"

"I've already been pressed for answers, Luxord. I have nothing left to tell," Marluxia said steadily as he looked past the nose of the gun and up at Luxord. Each man wore a face perfect for poker.

Without even a twitch in his expression, Luxord pulled the trigger and the room echoed with the thunder from the gun and Larxene's wild scream. Marluxia bent awkwardly over his knee, his shoulders heaved strangely what with his hands being bound behind his back.

"What the hell is wrong with you? He answered your question. He played your stupid game," Larxene spat at Luxord as he loaded another bullet into the gun. "You bastard! You shouldn't have-"

Without spinning the cylinder, Luxord pointed the barrel of the gun in Larxene's face, silencing her mid-shriek.

"Unlike you I haven't flouted the rules of the Organization once," Luxord said quite calmly. Axel pictured the bearded man as a professor pointing out a pupil's errors and trying to explain with metaphors and euphemisms exactly how Larxene was wrong. "I play my hand fairly and follow the rules as set by the General because that is what I signed up for. In order to play for General Xemnas one has to agree to the rules; I did as did you and every other soldier in this room. Granted, all of us will be playing with different hands and different strengths as suited to each person, but that does not mean that the rules change to accustom the cards each person possesses. With dedication, cunning and of course luck we learn how to play within the rules and hopefully walk away successful. This you did not do.

"When you prevented Lexaeus from ensnaring his target you shook the thin wire our missions treaded upon. Luckily Zexion's cunning and the General's perseverance allowed for the target to be annihilated as planned. The mission was a gamble from the start but the die that was cast fell on a favourable number for the Organization."

Maybe it was shock that prevented Axel from whirling around and unloading all the bullets his gun held on Zexion, but all he could do was stand on the spot and stare wide eyed at the back of Luxord's head as the bearded man leaned over Larxene. Now wasn't the time to think of the train wreck smouldering behind him; there was one unfolding before him as he watched Larxene's fearful eyes narrow scornfully behind the barrel of a gun.

"When questioned, Marluxia said that his reason for the betrayal was because the General strictly forbids the fraternizing of a pawn like yourself, Larxene, with a knight like Marluxia. I have difficulty believing that simply because the two of you cannot move as equals you thought it best to upset the board. Perhaps with a bit of play Larxene may be willing to answer the riddle."

Larxene's gaze slipped from the black, dead-end barrel to Marluxia who had raised his head just enough to peer at Larxene through his bangs. Axel felt like patting Marluxia on the back and saying 'sorry, man' when Larxene turned her face away and stared scornfully at her boots. Marluxia smiled genuinely enough through the pain, so maybe Larxene could actually express intense emotions that weren't somehow related to rage. Axel felt the same disgust for Luxord as he had felt when Riku had made Larxene scream, but not because she screamed now, because the small tremors in her jaw and rapid blinking of her eyes meant she was trying very hard not to cry.

"Larxene," Marluxia hissed through the pain as he forced himself to sit up a little straighter. "D-don't be afraid."

Larxene whirled on the wounded man. "Marluxia, I am N-NOT-"

Marluxia lunged with an agonized grunt and snatched the revolver from Luxord's hand. No one else but Axel had a firearm and so everyone stayed frozen or backed up a step, save for Luxord. Luxord just folded his hands behind his back and bowed his head with an amused grin on his face. Marluxia pushed his back up against the wall and raised the gun with his one hand while cradling the other. Marluxia's wrists' were rubbed raw from the rope he'd been pulling at for the last hour and the hand he cradled looked odd like a branch with crooked twigs. If he could be grateful for one thing that happened during his torture it was that Lexaeus had stomped his fingers to dust and so they slipped out of the rope easier than whole ones. Marluxia pulled the hammer back and aimed the barrel at Luxord's chest.

Luxord chuckled as he said, "You have one shattered leg, one mangled hand and one bullet. Unless we all stand frozen at the shock of one person's death you will not be getting out of here without further harm."

Marluxia stared calmly up at Luxord and his breathing quieted. Beside him, Larxene shifted to stare at the gun in Marluxia's hand to Marluxia's face, searching between the man and the machine for some hint of where that chunk of metal would be sinking into.

"I know I will not be getting out of this room alive or," Marluxia gasped out a ragged laugh, "or even in one piece. I can't bargain my way out either, you'll just have Axel shoot me."

"Hmm," Luxord puzzled, "There are seven people who you may wish to kill in this room so we all have a seventh of a chance to be randomly shot; those odds are already better than the ones I place on the people I question. Of course we aren't merely plastic or marble pieces on a board so we have to deduce who is the most important for you to shoot."

Axel thought back and tried to remember if there had ever been a time when he'd pissed off Marluxia. Surely the sting of the bullet nestled into Marluxia's leg was fresher than anything he'd ever done to the man. From the corner of the room Zexion made a small swallowing noise that would have been hidden by a murmur, but the room was silent. Marluxia grinned in Zexion's direction.

"Y-you're very intelligent, Zexion. Xemnas w-would probably consider you for my replacement b-before considering Vexen," Marluxia huffed. "Torture, ha, i-is rather painful. Don't be afraid."

With a shaking hand, Marluxia turned the gun on Larxene. She had just enough time to scream his name before Marluxia pulled the trigger. After the bullet burst her skull Marluxia refused to look at her body. Axel could sympathize; as much as he wanted to keep looking at Roxas as he died, he wished he could shove Roxas' final moments from his mind and recall only the smiles, loving looks and sleeping faces he had seen on his friend's face. Roxas had been alive during those moments and that's how Axel wanted to think of him.

"Well played," Luxord said softly as Marluxia slid the revolver to bump against Luxord's boot. The bearded soldier bent to retrieve his gun. As he straightened up he smiled sadly at Marluxia. "But your own pain will double before I order Axel to shoot you, I'm afraid."

Marluxia nodded dully.

"After committing such a crime how could I ever beg for mercy?" Marluxia asked dolefully. His eyes flickered up and to catch Axel's gaze. Man, did those words ever sound like the ghosts of Axel's thoughts the night before.

Axel exhaled without a sound and winked at Marluxia, his smile set into a gritted grin. Everyone in the room jumped when Axel pulled the trigger and shot Marluxia. All eyes turned to him and the smoking gun in his hand.

"Oops," Axel said, scratching the back of his head with mock embarrassment, "Butterfingers."

"An accident? Unlikely!" Vexen fumed as he stepped over Larxene's body, warily avoiding the little bits of her like a pool of thrown up spaghetti. Vexen got within a few feet of Axel, likely wanting to keep some distance between them in case Axel had another 'oops' moment, and continued his rant. "Even someone who spends his life working with test tubes and flasks knows that guns do not fire _accidentally_ like that. It's ridiculous! As is the fact that the General allows this-"

"I wouldn't speak ill of the General, Vexen," Lexaeus said, his voice warned like thunder before a storm. Vexen's anger stuttered and he took the break in his tirade to compose himself again.

"Have it your way, Lexaeus. However, I still hold firm to the belief that this _mutt_," Vexen sneered at Axel who just rolled him eyes, "ought to be on a shorter leash."

"If you feel so passionately about that issue then perhaps you could inform the General about the executions for me?" Zexion asked, creeping from the corner to stand in the middle of the room. Zexion turned from an indignant Vexen to a fatigued Riku. "I have something to discuss with Riku."

"You go too far Zexion!" Vexen snarled, whirling on Zexion and stabbing the air near Zexion's cheek with his finger. "You took that traitor's words to heart, didn't you? Well, despite what he believed I do outrank you and seeing as the events that unfolded were between Riku and I then I ought to stay and you ought to-"

"Vexen, enough," Lexaeus said while taking a step forward and causing Vexen to take three steps back. "For one so bound to the cold, hard facts of life you have quite the temper. Zexion ought to deal with Riku for now. He is well informed of what transpired yesterday."

Grudgingly, Vexen fell silent and headed for the door. He was careful to tread on Marluxia's splayed hair as he walked by, a look on his face appropriate for someone swallowing bitter words.

"Luxord, Lexaeus, perhaps you both should accompany Vexen, seeing as you both had opportunities to question Marluxia," Xaldin said and stepped forward to stand next to Zexion. "I'll dispose of the traitors while Zexion questions Riku. Axel, you will hand over that gun to Zexion and help Zexion take Riku back to his cell after."

Axel handed over the gun while the other soldiers filed out of the room. Xaldin watched Axel carefully and Axel behaved to the best of his ability, taking Lexaeus' place next to Riku. Lexaeus didn't say a word to Axel but he patted the young soldier's shoulder as he passed causing Axel's knees to buckle. The other soldiers might say that Lexaeus just didn't know his own strength but that was a naked lie. Lexaeus knew where his strengths lay; the warning gleam in his eyes carried the promise of more 'friendly taps' should Axel decide to get slippery with his actions again. Maybe that was why Lexaeus paired with Zexion more and more frequently, Axel mused. Yeah, those two teamed up 'cause Zexion had brains and Lexaeus had muscles.

The room was clear except for Xaldin as he pecked away at his cleanup duty like a large, black vulture.

"You may sit down if you like, Riku," Zexion said and motioned to the floor.

"No thanks," Riku wheezed and swayed on the spot as he took the pressure off his one leg. Axel thought about punting Riku in his bad leg just so the ragged soldier could sit and keep his pride out of Zexion's claws, but he'd done enough good deeds today and was rather sick of how they made him feel.

"Understood," Zexion said with a slight nod. "I just thought taking a seat might alleviate your pain."

Riku remained silent.

"I admit that the execution did not go as planned," Zexion confessed, his hand over his heart in mock sincerity. Axel chuckled but when Zexion turned to look at him he passed his laughter off as a cough. Zexion turned back to Riku. "In some ways it is a good thing. The initial idea was to have you present during the questioning because, I'm assuming it was much to your surprise that Marluxia attempted to assassinate Vexen while you were being questioned and advertently release you. We did not gain information however you did today, Riku."

Riku made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat and Axel couldn't help raising his own eyebrow. Axel was pretty sure Riku knew by now what the dangers of guns were. Zexion ignored the tugs of scepticism at his platform and continued speaking with suppressed anger.

"The deaths in this room were done sloppily but I expected no less given the executioner."

"Aw, Zex, you just like pissing on my parade," Axel said with a faulty whine in his voice. "And here I was aiming to be an _amazing_ murderer. You just shot my dreams to hell, man."

"No, Axel," Zexion turned slowly to face him, "I believe you did that to yourself when you pulled the trigger on that medic yesterday."

Axel might have actually snarled as he tore away from Riku's side, his fist drawn back and eyes blazing.

"You fucker! You-" but Zexion nimbly stepped back and aimed the gun at Axel's distorted face.

"Zexion! Do you have the situation under control?" Xaldin asked as he lifted Larxene's tarp wrapped body over his shoulders.

"Yes, Xaldin," Zexion said with a bow of his head as he quickly lowered the gun. He stared at Axel as he said, "The truth is often met with displeasure because it is such a strong medicine."

Xaldin nodded and carried Larxene's body out the door. Xaldin's slow and heavy footsteps masked Axel's deep breathing. He turned away from Zexion, blinded by anger and pain, only to meet Riku's eyes. There was the pity again. Axel jerkily faced the corner and squeezed the bridge of his nose, his finger tips pushed down on his tear ducts.

"It seems that you've heard through the grapevine that Roxas died yesterday," Zexion said to Riku. "Like I said, a very sloppy death. I suppose you feel bad judging by the contempt in your eyes but the knowledge that Roxas suffered greatly does not break you like it breaks Axel."

Axel pressed harder against his nose, his teeth attempted to grind each other down while his eyes squeezed shut and his ears relied on their ringing to shut out Zexion's voice. Of course the words sliced through anyway.

"I wonder what would, Riku? I wonder..." Zexion puzzled, "Would you be able to do for Sora as Marluxia did for Larxene today?"

Axel heard all too clearly the frayed breath Riku took in and it ran threw him as easily as any knife could.

"Hmmm," Zexion murmured suggestively as his footsteps took him closer to the door. "We shall see, I suppose. Take him back to his cell, Axel. I'm done with this."

Zexion left the room but his effect lingered on like smoke from a drenched fire. Riku slid down the wall and landed in a sodden state on the floor. Though there was no one else watching Riku, and Axel would in no doubt get in trouble for having his back turned to Riku when Xaldin came back to haul Marluxia away, but Axel just couldn't drag his eyes open and over to his prisoner.

Zexion must have slipped one of Vexen's torture potions into me somehow. There's no way, _there's no way_ my body could hurt this bad all on its own, Axel thought. Maybe it's Roxas raising hell on my mind. If that's true then go ahead, babe. I deserve it and, oh, I almost need it. Axel opened his eyes.

He had something to do first before he drowned himself in his thoughts. Axel jammed his thumbs into the corners of his eyes and turned around. Riku was a sad puppet with broken strings and limp limbs. His eyes were deadened with worry and his mouth was slightly ajar as if he had stopped working halfway through a sentence. Without looking at Axel, Riku's lips came back to life and spoke to his enemy.

"I...fucked up."

"Nah, I doubt that," Axel replied, his eyes downcast and lips smiling ironically. "I think you just got fucked."

"Fuck you!" Riku snarled, becoming very animated in his hate. His face whipped around to leer at Axel as he snapped, "Your jokes don't help anymore! Not after that. Not after Roxas. You grasp the concept of death, right? He's not coming back. _Ever!_"

"Goddamn it, _I know!_ And I don't need you reminding me, Twilight Trash!" Axel barked.

There was a tense silence where both boys did nothing but stare in opposite directions with set jaws. After a moment, their hackles came down and their jaws unlocked.

"Even if I think you're a bastard, that was cruel," Riku murmured to his lap. He chuckled grimly, "That was something you Organization idiots would say. Sorry."

"Nah, I think I need a good slapping around. I think I'm...slipping a bit. But I'll take the apology for Roxas' sake. And, uh, you're right," Axel said, scratching his nose and kicking the floor with his boot. "I need to get serious."

"Yeah?" Riku asked warily while eyeing Axel suspiciously. "And what does that mean?"

"I probably shouldn't say openly considering, well," Axel's gaze wandered over to Marluxia's body.

"Fine, I get what you mean but I'm not following," Riku determinedly tore his eyes from Marluxia and stared boldly up at Axel. "I'll find my own way out."

Axel looked down with sceptical eyes at Riku's tattered body, bound hands and fragmented spirit.

"Want me to unbind you, cover my eyes and count to ten as you run away? I'll let you say you did it all on your own."

Riku glared silently up at him. Axel awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

"Right. No more dicking around."

Riku turned his face away and murmured hoarsely, "I don't think it'd be insane for me to say that I can't trust you after all that you've done."

"I'd question your sanity even now if I didn't know that mine left me a long time ago," Axel cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "I get that you think I'm a monster 'cause I've done horrible things but, man, you've gotta see that we're both standing on opposite sides. Of course we look distorted to each other. I mean, I knew of you before the war but I heard more about how Twilight Town people are disgusting than I heard about you personally. You became something that had all those Twilight Town faults."

Riku laughed nastily and it set Axel's nerves on fire. He wasn't sure whether to feel offended or ashamed of what he had tried to eloquently explain.

"Yeah, I get it."

"Really?" Axel asked, a little too hopefully.

"You call me a monster when my hands are tied and you're gang beating me. Yeah. I get it," he said darkly.

In the silence that followed Axel could hear Xaldin's footsteps approaching from down the hall.

"Okay, yeah. I deserve that and I don't deserve denial. I don't deserve anything other than misery and woe for the rest of my life, alright?" Axel said hurriedly while trying to get the right words, the words he'd promised to Naminé, out before Xaldin entered the room. "But I've talked about me enough. So no more about me. This is for someone else because I fucked up. _I fucked up_."

Riku lifted his head and peered interestedly at Axel through his matted hair.

"Who are you doing this for then?" Riku asked. The footsteps were so close.

"Who else could drive me to do something this suicidal?" Axel whispered harshly. "But he's gone so I had to make the promise to someone else. To Nam-"

"Axel, isn't the prisoner meant to be locked in his cage?" Xaldin asked as he stood in the doorway, his dark eyes glanced from Axel to Riku.

"The bastard didn't feel like getting up," Axel shrugged, "And I thought you could do a better job of carrying him out after that stunning performance with Larxene."

"Very well, I'll help you escort him back seeing as your _strength_ can't be trusted," Xaldin said and prodded at Riku with his toes. "The General will be hearing about this disobedience as well."

"So long as I don't have to run laps," Axel caught Riku's eye as Xaldin kicked the Twilight Town soldier to his feet. "That just might kill me."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> So Marluxia and Larxene have left us. No more mysteriousness from Marluxia and no more catty remarks from Larxene. As a side note, Marluxia and Larxene aren't one of my top pairings, in fact I never really thought about them being together until this chapter came to be written. I can see them together, but I guess AkuRoku has just had the bulk of my attention. So that's why there wasn't a great deal on them, other than the fact that they had to keep their relationship secret. Sorry to anyone who does have a great affection for this pairing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Background Music**

With Xaldin hanging around and Axel unarmed, he couldn't run off with Riku or even pass him a decent message as he booted the Twilight Town soldier back into his cell. They just shared a quick glance that Axel meant to mean 'I'm serious about this' and Riku's dry response; a disbelieving roll of his shoulders.

As Axel debated whether to hang around Riku's cell until the coast was clear, Lexaeus planted his thick self between Riku and the rest of the world. He caught sight of Axel and told him that Xemnas would like to talk to him tomorrow at noon. Until then Axel was to rest up. Axel assumed that was code for 'Xemnas is going to send you on another emotional nightmare and strip the last garment of your soul from your body'. Axel said goodnight and wandered off to say hello to Demyx before really going to sleep.

Demyx was the only soldier he would regret defecting from. That wouldn't have been true a couple months ago, before he swung around to the other side of the mirror and saw the dirty, cracked wall it covered. He'd seen his image triumphant and felt so assured that he could be the hero Roxas needed. What made him think Roxas needed a hero in the first place? He thought way back, it wasn't as hard as he thought it would be since Roxas had recalled it for him. They had been by the river when the guns went off, when he first feared that Roxas was in danger. From that point on everything had been downhill and dark.

As Axel rounded the corner and entered the infirmary Zexion walked past him. They shared a look of mutual dislike and something like regret, but carried on in opposite directions.

Demyx was sitting up in his bed with his leg still elevated and he was fiddling with his sitar. He strummed out notes and his lips twisted in the creative process. He spotted Axel and waved him over energetically, his leg wiggling slightly in the sling.

"Wow! Twice in one day. Uh, or did you visit before midnight?" Demyx asked.

Axel sat on the edge of Demyx's bed. The bed creaked but Axel felt the groan of the frame in his bones.

"I don't really know but I was here in the morning - oh wait. You were being a bad host and sleeping. Man, am I really that boring?" Axel joked.

"No. What's boring is being all alone in this bed."

"Well, Dem, scars _are_ hot but the sling and the cast just makes things awkward," Axel said and he reached over to pat Demyx's suspended leg. Demyx jumped, caught Axel in the ribs with his elbow and knocked the wind out of him.

"Oh, sorry man, but that's what you get for all your _ribb_ing. Ha ha, get it?" Demyx laughed and fell back on his pillow while Axel rubbed at his side and groaned. Demyx nodded, "Yeah, sorry about the lame jokes. I think it's the pills they've got me on. Speaking of pills...I heard about Larxene."

"Yeah, that wasn't something I expected," Axel said dolefully.

Demyx looked at Axel with wide eyes.

"Really? She had a nasty temper. Even before she was given a gun I thought for sure she'd tick someone off enough to, uh, maybe it's too soon..." Demyx trailed off uncomfortably, running a hand over the back of his neck. "We didn't get along all too well. I'm probably not the one who should write her eulogy."

Despite the grim topic, Axel laughed.

"Well, she's a hard one to like – _was_, I guess...but actually that's the surprise for me. I didn't know about her and Marluxia."

Demyx nodded silently and dipped his head to hide his face.

"Yeah, I only knew 'cause I walked in on them – hey! It's not funny, Axel," Demyx protested and clutched his sitar to his chest while scowling.

"I bet Larxene had a fit," Axel said reminiscently of all the times he'd caused a vein to throb in her temple. Those were the days...

"Yeah, she did. She slashed the strings on my sitar and that was only because I walked in on them locking lips. Geez, you've got a dirty mind, Axel," Demyx said with a disappointed groan.

"Nah, but..." Demyx said seriously while holding out his sitar to examine the strings. Axel watched him curiously. Demyx sighed, "Zexion said that she was probably more spooked that I might have heard them plotting or something like that."

"Plotting what?" Axel asked.

Demyx shrugged casually but his fingers twitched along the neck of his sitar making nervous _twang_ing noises.

"I-I guess I can tell you because, well, can I please say I'm sorry before you shoot me?" Demyx stammered.

"What are you talking about?" Axel asked dumbfounded. Subconsciously he drew back from his friend. Too many times he had been thrown in the last couple days and the bad tastes in his mouth and dirt on his hands were getting old. He was thoroughly surprised that Demyx might actually have some earth shattering information.

"Let me just say that I didn't sign up to be shot or to shoot. I signed up 'cause Xemnas made it all sound easy and fun. And sometimes it was. Remember when we went on that camping trip?" Demyx paused to laugh nervously and pluck at his sitar strings. "Or – or when you destroyed that sink in Vexen's lab? That was fun...but that stuff doesn't happen anymore."

"Nope," Axel said guardedly, "not anymore."

"Look, man, I don't have much to say that would mean much now. I'm a pretty bad soldier..."

"That's not true! You're just...casual," Axel said, careful to skirt words like lazy or clumsy. He narrowed his eyes and pressed, "I mean, Xemnas has kept you around this long for a reason, right?"

"Yeah, he has. As his foil," Demyx said with a laugh that could not be described as cheery. He fiddled with his sitar, pulling out notes a lot easier than words from his mouth. Axel cleared his throat causing Demyx to twitch and smile apologetically. Demyx sighed, "Sorry, man. I'm just as confused as you are."

"Oh, I doubt that. I'm not even sure what we're having a conversation about."

"I guess it's about everything bad that's happened."

Axel took in a deep breath. He wasn't sure what to think or feel about this conversation. Demyx was upset and not so light-hearted anymore. What troubled Demyx seemed like something beyond his grasp, something that he had little control over yet felt responsible for.

"Demyx...when you say 'every bad thing' do you mean all the horrible stuff to do with..." he saw his fingers sliding Roxas' eyes closed. He swallowed hard and Roxas' name didn't pass his tongue. "Because that's not your fault, man. I did it all and I didn't want to do any of it."

"But I do mean it," Demyx murmured. As if he realized he was being downhearted he chuckled forcefully, "I'm in the same boat as you because I knew it all but I didn't want to actually see it."

Axel opened his mouth to tell his friend to stop, to say no one could blame Demyx if he let information slip to Zexion during meals or exchanged banter with Larxene that other ears might have overheard. Just because someone pressed something into his hands didn't make him the owner of it. Demyx didn't let Axel say this; he pressed on while staring at the wall opposite, his eyes a little too bright.

"I passed Zexion information on you without really thinking about it. He'd ask how you were doing and I'd tell him. The nights when we were stationed at the farmhouse, me and Zex would laugh over how I stood out in the cold while you visited Roxas. Man," Demyx said the word in a strained kind of way and his hands wrung the neck of his sitar. "Man...I think the first time I actually thought about what I was saying was the night Riku decked you. I told Zexion and he stopped joking around. He got serious and asked me more. I made myself think 'Zexion is just worried about Axel' but there were other thoughts about what it all meant."

"Dem, man, I don't blame you-" Axel interjected but was cut across.

"Like I said, I knew about Larxene and I knew there was more to her and Marluxia than just something casual. I should have warned her but I wasn't sure what I would be warning her about. I mean, I can't just walk up to her and say 'Hey, Larxene! Just thought I should let you know that Zexion's been asking questions about you. He wants to know why Marluxia doesn't want you to be torturing Riku. That's kind of odd, I thought you liked tearing men down' but that would be a little suspicious to say," Demyx blinked and a ghostly smile appeared on his lips. "She would have beaten me over that one.

"I didn't question Larxene, I was just me around her because I wasn't on a recon mission even if that's what Zexion was on. I guess I can't take all the blame, Larxene has a big mouth – had a big mouth. She liked acting sly when she knew something you didn't," Demyx's face blanched and Axel thought maybe he should make Demyx stop for fear that he'd throw up, but he wanted to hear this. "Zexion said he knew about Larxene and Marluxia because they'd gotten in trouble over their relationship. I guess senior officers can't date junior ones, but Zexion was cool about it. He said that he wasn't talking about the relationship and neither should I because it'd only get Larxene in trouble. He did say he wanted to know how they were doing because he could pull some strings in the upper ranks to keep Xemnas ignorant. Zexion was doing really well, he got promoted. He said Larxene wasn't talking to him because she hated that Zexion knew about her and Marluxia so he asked me how they were doing..."

Axel groaned into his hand while Demyx caught his breath. He put a hand on Demyx's shoulder and pressed his weight on the boy but the words kept coming anyways.

"I knew things were really bad then. Larxene mentioned a couple times that she just wanted to get away from Xemnas, that he was getting too strong and if someone didn't act now he'd win the war and continue just dominating everything. She said Marluxia said that when the war was over Xemnas wouldn't be a general anymore, he'd be a king but he really likes being a general. Zexion understood better. I only got that Marluxia didn't want Larxene to be torturing Riku because that would put blood on her hands. Zexion said that was an odd thing to think because Larxene's on the Organization's side and unless Riku escaped or was released the other side would never know who did what to whom. So why would it matter?"

Axel squeezed his eyes closed, brows pinching because the information was ripping through his brain. Larxene and Marluxia believed that so long as Xemnas was in power no one would be exempted from his scrutinizing gaze or firm grip on their lives. So Marluxia decided to side with the Twilight Town people, but no one knew who or where their king was so he'd need a bargaining chip for amnesty. That's why he tried to break Riku free and why he didn't want Larxene harming him. What he wasn't sure about was why Larxene was taken in yesterday. She was in Twilight Town fighting so they had no proof that she'd betrayed the Organization, other than her relationship to Marluxia.

"Oh man, I think I'd actually _rather_ be on the battlefield than lying in bed telling you all this," Demyx chuckled nervously, his vocal chords made the odd _twang_ing noises now.

"Demyx, you don't have to tell me. I get it and probably even more so than anyone else. And...I've done way worse," Axel said as he squeezed Demyx's shoulder a little rougher than he meant to. Demyx squirmed under Axel's grasp and shook his head.

"Axel, I'm sorry, man. I knew about Roxas too," Demyx admitted, his head bowing slightly.

"I don't think you did. You didn't know for sure that-" Axel said while his grip tightened on Demyx's shoulder.

"It's a really big mess. Xemnas wants Riku to tell them where his king is, but you know he's not budging, not unless Sora is threatened. But then there's you."

_But Xemnas couldn't just storm the farmhouse and capture Sora_, Axel thought._ Roxas would put up a fight for his brother and Xemnas knows I'm only in the Organization for Roxas so..._

"You're one of Xemnas' top soldiers, even if you goof off sometimes."

_Right...'cause even though I don't always do what I'm told I get what Xemnas wants done anyways. Capture, torture, murder...I've done those._

"It's been getting to Zexion, you know, how you do whatever you want to do while Zexion's working really hard, but you're about the same rank as him. He said he doesn't get why..."

_Well, I guess Xemnas can't go upsetting me, one of his soldiers who knows quite a few sore spots in the Organization's body._

"But, anyways, Roxas...You okay if I say his name?"

_Roxas..._

"Roxas is one tough guy – sorry! Was one – well Xemnas wasn't sure how to go about it for a long time. Zexion spent a lot of time watching the farmhouse. He didn't want to do it. He really did think of you as a friend, Axel."

_He watched and waited but for what? What did he find out?_

"Apparently Sora's really sick so Roxas went to Twilight Town to see that girl Naminé, remember her? She helped Riku take care of Sora, but since Riku's been here then obviously he couldn't go. Well, Zexion said Roxas couldn't get in the first time he tried. He said Roxas was pretty upset...he was awake most of the night."

_Zexion was there to watch him. Probably right outside the fucking window. And where was I? Torturing Riku...I should have been there. I couldn't heal Sora but I should have been there with Roxas. Probably wore a hole in the floor from all his pacing._

"Zexion saw Roxas pull the uniform out from under Sora's pillow and..."

_Reported to his General._

"Um, well, Zexion told me yesterday that he'd finally be heading a team in the upcoming mission. I was kinda of scared thinking about what I'd be doing, I'd never been in the field, so I didn't think much about what Zexion said. H-he said his mission was to scout out and isolate a 'key'."

_I heard that too. They were after Roxas from the start._

"Not everyone was in on what the mission was really about. Zexion knew and Xemnas obviously. I think Lexaeus knew but definitely not Larxene. That's what gave her away..."

_Larxene? Yeah, she was there. She screamed at me. I think she was being restrained._

"Saix was in on it too but he was actually back at headquarters with Xaldin and Luxord, watching Marluxia. Zexion was proud that he wouldn't be under Saix's command. Saix is kind of Xemnas' number two so that put Zexion right under him."

_Xemnas had this all planned out. It only ran this smoothly because of his top soldiers. Fuck, I'm one of them...not a trusted one though._

"I could hear Larxene screaming at Lexaeus as he held her back. She kept saying that she wasn't responsible for Roxas' death and that she tried to save him."

_She didn't want his blood on her hands. She knew what Marluxia was doing. Why couldn't that stupid bitch tell me? She could have stopped me. I wouldn't have – Roxas would be – he didn't need to –_

"Ow, Axel, man. You're really pinching my arm," Demyx whined as he tried to pry Axel's fingers from his shoulder. Axel wasn't present at the moment though so Demyx was left to loosen them on his own. Eventually he got them off his shoulder and wrapped around his hand instead. Axel's grip was crushing, but Demyx figured whatever was going on in his buddy's head was far more devastating. His friend needed something to hold on to as his mind slipped away.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> So not too much happened in this chapter. It's pretty much just to clear things up and because I really Demyx, though I don't think he would make a great soldier. I think that's why I gave him a lot of knowledge as to what's going on just because he wouldn't do much with it. I'll update again soon since this chapter was pretty short, maybe tomorrow? I really should have some rhyme or reason to my updating.


	12. Chapter 12

**Choked by Your Words**

The moon was a horrible way to judge time by. As Axel lay awake in bed, his head tilted to the moaning window, he debated whether or not time was passing. Had the moon moved a little farther west? Was the sky looking brighter in the east? Did not being able to sleep properly for two nights count as insomnia? When thick, black clouds covered his celestial clock and turned the sleeping area to pitch he rolled noiselessly out of bed. It wasn't quite dawn, but he hadn't set an exact time with Riku or even a day really. Axel breathed out a chuckle as he tugged his shirt over his head. He wasn't even sure Riku believed he was coming.

Axel bent to tie his laces and, like a full cup spilling over its brim, images of the close past and dawning future flooded his mind. There was burnt land behind him and he held a torch in his hand now, planning to light more. He couldn't scrub the blood from his hands in a bath of blood, but the vines and creepers were so thick around him. What choice did he have but to cut a path? He shook his head. These thoughts were barely strung together. They weren't useful.

His fingers trembled as he slid knives and guns beneath the fabric of his coat. He really should have thought a proper plan through, but he felt he needed to get this done now before he was found out, before Riku was on his knees before the cold muzzle of a gun, before Sora was turned to ashes by his fever, before Naminé lowered her sad eyes to Roxas' body and decided Axel had lied, or before Axel's mind just stopped.

No one stirred as he left the room, then again the beds next to Axel were vacant what with Zexion off spying, Demyx in the infirmary and Larxene just gone. The hallways were fairly silent too with only murmurs and the squeak of rubber heels of patrolling soldiers. There were whispers in some of the rooms he passed but he saw no one until he came to Riku's cell. He had been prepared for guards though he hoped Lexaeus wouldn't be on lookout anymore. The guy was huge and not that fond of Axel.

"This is quite unacceptable. I don't know what the General thinks he's doing but I'm growing rather tired of this, Zexion," Vexen said, his voice shattering the silence of the night.

Axel hid around the corner and listened. Maybe they would move on or at least one of them would. He felt confident enough that he could silence both soldiers, but at the same time would be a problem. The thought of actually using the knife in his belt on one of his comrades was unnerving but with a grim acceptance he knew he could do it. What Zexion had done was horrible and frustratingly pointless. What could anyone do with a dead Roxas? Just one thing. Naminé would get her hands dirty and so would Axel, again. He'd been trained to harm others and he had let his own bullets rip through his own white flag. Axel swallowed his sadness and ground his teeth when he heard Zexion speak. Could he kill Zexion? Axel steeled himself. He might have no choice. Zexion had had chances for choices and he chose wrong.

"You are not the only one, Vexen," Zexion said with an undercurrent tone of exhaustion in his voice. "But complaining will not sell us secrets. The General is growing tired of Riku's silence as well and if he doesn't talk soon then his silence will be permanent."

Both academics paused and when Riku just snorted Axel guessed they had been waiting for some sort of reaction from their prisoner.

"Perhaps it won't be _you_ we silence then," Vexen spat. There was a gentle clang on the bars and Axel imagined Vexen leaning his snarling face closer to Riku's cell with his fingers griping the bars.

"Vexen..." Zexion warned but was ignored.

"Zexion, I've always believed that information is a great prompter for action. So, Riku, allow me to inform you that should you not divulge your information in our upcoming session, the Organization has plans that are to be put into effect tomorrow shortly after noon."

Vexen paused, letting his words flow thickly through the bars and to Riku's mind. Riku made an odd noise and Vexen continued in a triumphant tone.

"We will bring Sora in."

Riku made the odd noise again.

"We will heal him but then we will harm him. It's much better to have all his circuits running before snipping wires."

Axel heard Riku clear his throat and reply thick with pain and hate.

"Stop bringing others into this, cowards," Riku snarled with a cracked voice.

Vexen sighed angrily.

"Have it your way, then. Zexion, I'll be waiting in my laboratory. If you'd deign to bring Riku there for his final questioning," Vexen sniffed and Axel could imagine the man saying his farewell through a snarl. "See all the good the use of your psychology does? You have only words, Zexion, and you are running out of them."

Axel pressed himself against the wall as Vexen stormed past. His heart knocked against his ribs as his hand grasped the knife at his belt. The blade wasn't that long but the knife had the numbing effect on his arm that holding a heavy bag usually did.

If Xemnas had told him over a year ago, as he sat in class looking out the window, that he would shoot his best friend and slit his classmate's throat, Axel not only would refuse to sign up but also laugh. Like he was that much of a jerk. He liked telling Larxene to cram it and bullying Roxas into submission, but that's as far as his damage went. Everyone always came away smiling from those situations. Axel's lips pulled up a bit.

He readjusted his grip and stepped around the corner. Zexion was standing before Riku's cell, a ring of keys in one hand. Like the good soldier he was, Zexion immediately saw Axel and no doubt suspected there was a knife hiding in the black folds of his coat. Zexion slowly lowered the keys and turned his body towards Axel.

"You have talked with Demyx," Zexion said flatly, eyes fixed on Axel.

"Yup," Axel replied with a false cheeriness and tight lip smile. He wasn't sure what else to say. His talk with Demyx wasn't the final nail in Zexion's coffin but it was a rather embedded one. Axel tossed his head and said, "He's a good guy."

Zexion nodded, "He does make a good person if not a good soldier."

Zexion didn't speak with venom but Axel still found him irksome. Then again, Axel could probably be just as irked if Zexion commented on the weather.

"He's an even better friend," Axel said tensely. His eyes narrowed in a challenge for Zexion to try to wade in those waters. If they had ever swum together there, Axel was pretty sure Zexion had used Axel as a piece of flotsam and made it to dry land. Demyx was an honest friend who risked Axel's hate and anger. Larxene, though sneering and often unpleasant, had been far more straightforward than Zexion. And then there was Roxas. His hand clenched the blade while his teeth ground out, "He never tried to pull me down, man. He's a good friend and he risked a lot because he cares. Why am I finding it hard to say the same about you?"

Axel stood a few feet away from Zexion, and Riku was hidden from sight, somewhere deeper in his cell. Axel saw pale hands grip the bars from the inside of the cell and Riku's craggy voice called Axel's name.

Zexion ignored Riku and stared at Axel, but it felt more like he was staring into Axel. Zexion's gaze searched Axel's eyes like he was reading a book. It left Axel to feel rather exposed and his eyes narrowed as if he could obscure Zexion's ability to read.

"I see," Zexion said with a slight nod.

"I know you do. Seeing and watching is what you do," Axel said, using his unarmed hand to point at the other soldier's indifferent eyes. Axel snorted and said, "I might be the hands of Xemnas' little corpse but you still could have told me, Zex. I'm not very happy."

"There's a reason why you do the dirty work, Axel, and it's because of your strengths. You have tenacity, stamina, drive; everything a field soldier should have," Zexion replied, standing still before Riku's cage with his eyes forever locked on Axel's.

"Aw schucks, I'm so flattered," Axel said tersely. Even using sarcasm felt like pulling teeth. It was really hard to just stand there and talk, yet he couldn't move because he didn't know what would happen if he did. He would probably hit Zexion, but that wouldn't curb his anger. And in some twisted way he thought he would be just as likely to hurt himself as anyone else. Nothing he could do could accomplish anything he wanted. The only thing that came close was Naminé and the promise.

Zexion ignored Axel's barb and spoke in the controlled way a parent might with a trying child.

"Those are your strengths, but not mine. You have your way of doing things and I have mine," Zexion blinked and half raised his hand to point to Axel's hand that held the knife. "Because you do as you do is the reason why you're holding a weapon and I am not."

There was no point in keeping the knife hidden. Axel lifted his hand away from his coat and looked down at the dagger. He saw his tired eyes reflected behind the scars of the steel before he turned back to Zexion.

He stared at his once friend, wondering if a bloody end was what he really wanted for the traitor. He wondered if Zexion felt any regret for the things he had done. Regret bubbled and burned in Axel. It bit him every hour and let its venom run its course, and it would do this forever. The way Zexion stood opposite to him, not a twitch of fear on his face and his eyes steady, made Axel believe the boy didn't regret what he had done. Axel blinked and swallowed hard.

"I might consider trading the knife for that ring of keys in your hand," Axel said, pointing at the ring, his eyes downcast and shoulders slightly hunched.

Axel expected Zexion to refuse and raise the alarm. Instead, Zexion looked down at the keys he held and then back up. Axel didn't like the way shadows of calculations flickered through Zexion's eyes, but he didn't complain since Zexion slowly took a few steps forward and handed the keys over to Axel. He glanced at the ring, sifting through them until he found the one to Riku's cell. It'd be just like Zexion to slip the key off the ring and sneak over to Xemnas while Axel searched for it. Having found it, Axel couldn't care less what Zexion did. Later he could muse over why Zexion would give him the keys so easily, but for now he shouldered past the traitor and stuck the key in Riku's cell door. Riku's hands crept up the bars like a ten legged crab since his wrists were bound together. Their eyes met just before Axel meant to turn the key. He knew that with its turn he would officially be a traitor to the Organization, but for once in a long, long time Axel felt like himself. In deep waters he found a rock and hopefully the sun would rise and he'd be able to see the grounds he slipped away from.

"This won't bring Roxas back," Zexion said emotionlessly.

Axel tore his eyes from Riku, the desperate prisoner barked something but Axel wouldn't hear it.

"Excuse me but what the hell did you just say?" Axel asked with a stiff jaw.

"I only spoke the truth. I'm sorry, but he is gone, Axel. Nothing can undo that," Zexion blinked and looked a little sad as he said, "Rebellion and revenge won't help you either. It's salt in your wound."

"Thank you, Jiminy Cricket, but I've had it up to here with the Organization's fucked up conscience," he barked and his hand sliced the air around the tips of his spiked red hair. His hand fell with the condemning force of a guillotine as he pointed at Zexion. "I pulled the trigger. Oh yeah, I admit it. But it's _you_ that blindfolded and spun me around. I'm done with Xemnas' game. I'm making my own rules. I'm done, Zex."

"And like you I admit my part," Zexion said with emotion in his voice and a hand on his heart. Axel's lips parted in the beginnings of a snarl but he was too stunned to speak. Zexion bowed his head and said sombrely, "If I could have found another way, I would never have put Roxas in harm's way. And, though you may not believe me, it was not my plan to eliminate Roxas, it was another's."

Axel shook his head slowly and his mouth twisted into a pained frown.

"You're more full of crap than the latrines," Axel said after a moment's hesitation. Like Zexion actually felt bad and like anyone else knew as much about him and Roxas.

Demyx showed more concern and guilt and the poor bastard had been shot in the leg. He should have been saving his worry for the nasty little bullet wheedling into his bone. A little crag in his voice and hunching of his shoulders meant shit coming from Zexion.

"Axel, just please consider for a moment all that has happened in our time in the Organization. How many actions can you say you honestly wanted to do? How many orders did you carry out with full belief that you were doing as you wanted to? Do you honestly think you are the only one to be forced to go against yourself?"

"Sorry, but that doesn't matter right now," Axel said and turned his back on Zexion to stare into the dark corners of Riku's cell. "I'm doing what I want again. Now."

"Are you sure?" Zexion pressed.

"Axel, unlock the door," Riku rasped. Axel looked down at Riku who held the bars firmly in his bound hands. The guy had little strength, but he stared up at Axel with certainty. Axel blinked, realizing that Riku was beginning to trust him. It was a grounding realization.

"Riku's never been your friend, Axel. You have friends here-"

"Not you, I don't," Axel tossed over his shoulder angrily, but the slight crack in his voice was sizable enough for Zexion to slip his own words into. Axel thought that claws of a hawk would be gentler on his mind.

"I wouldn't jump to conclusions so quickly, Axel," Zexion said delicately, "Everyone in the Organization has a place and everything is connected. Surely you remember from our school days that even the most extreme parts of the body are connected to the brain and heart."

"I was kicked out of Vexen's-"

"Has it been so long that you don't remember? We were classmates _before_ the war. We sat in wooden desks listening to our teacher drone on and on about history. About people who had been dead for hundreds of years and who had great lives, yet their stories still managed to put us to sleep."

"I don't remember you ever falling asleep during a single lecture."

"I sat at the back of the class, but what does it matter? Classes didn't matter all that much, did they? That's why we chose to sleep then and stay awake at night, hopping the river, climbing up the shed at the back of the house, tapping on the window and slipping beneath the covers..."

The shed creaked with Axel's weight, as did the window when he slid it up and open. The bedside light was off and the shadow of a body beneath the sheets was visible in the moon's light.

"That's – how did you - ?"

"The scene changed a little when we joined the Organization, didn't it? But not the feeling."

Axel was wearing a long black coat and he checked over his shoulder for anyone who might be in the backyard, but there was no one beneath the trees. He felt relief lighten his limbs, but in a paradoxical way; he didn't want his team members watching him, but knowing that they were outside the house, watching for enemies, made him feel safe. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at the bump beneath the covers. How Roxas could sleep fully cloaked from face to feet under the sheets, Axel never figured out.

"There was never a time when Roxas wasn't there, was there? Even if he was asleep he was always in his room when you visited. All you had to do was lift the sheets and there he would be, maybe sleeping before us."

He drew the blankets back and the usual feelings of warmth were felt in his chest, but magnified because he had feared that Roxas wouldn't be there. Axel had left Roxas' body in the morgue in Twilight Town –

"Don't startle, Axel. Look. His eyes are closed. He's at peace."

Roxas' eyes were closed and his lips slightly parted as he lay curled in his bed. Axel put his hand in his blond hair, bone white in the moonlight. It was such a relief to actually feel something. Not like the time when he'd visited Roxas' room and run his hang along the empty bed. He thought he'd felt something, but...

"Be calm. It's what we all need."

Everything was calm. The window was open, but no cricket sounds or breeze disturbed the room. Roxas didn't even make any breathing noises being he was in such a deep and tranquil sleep. Actually, all Axel could hear was his own breathing, his own heart beating. Hell, if he listened close enough he could hear his eyelids blink. That unnerved him. His fingers and toes went cold as he turned to stare directly at Roxas. The boy's eyes were closed and mouth still slightly agape, but it looked odd.

Axel lifted his hand from Roxas' hair and let it hover over the sleeping boy's face. He heard his heart beat loud in his ears and rattle his ribs like the barrel of a drum as he tentatively lowered his fingers towards Roxas. He gasped slightly when his fingers touched the his friend's cheek. It was hard to tell since he was wearing the gloves of his uniform, but Roxas' face felt cold, stiff even. He tried pulling his glove off, but it was stuck to his skin. He tried rolling his sleeve up but it would barely budge, allowing only an inch or two of his wrist to be exposed. He took what he could get and pressed the inch of his exposed wrist against Roxas' cheek. Blood no longer reached his fingers because it froze beneath his skin where Roxas' cheek touched him. Axel drew in a soundless breath and grabbed Roxas by the shoulders. He shook him and his head bobbled slightly. He tried calling Roxas' name but the room had an annoying effect on sound. It was like Axel was hearing through a wall of snow. The words came out fat and muffled. Roxas' eyes were closed and his mouth slightly open. Was his pose one of sleep or death?

"It's regrettable and sad. What's sadder still is if you choose to stay in a place of mourning. What can this possibly bring about? You can stay in a place where you're the only one who speaks and breathes or you can slip outside to where we are waiting. We're just outside your walls, waiting. We are your friends and we are alive. Working with us you'll find purpose."

Axel gave up on shaking Roxas and turned to the window. He could see the branches and leaves swaying outside without a sound. Axel stood and let go of Roxas while tearing his eyes away from the boy who had his own eyes closed and mouth slightly open. His eyes were on the window, he was taking slow, noiseless steps forward. He heard a muffled bang behind him. Curiously, Axel felt his body be yanked around to the door of the bedroom. The muffled banging was coming from there.

"Axel, there's no one in the house. Everyone's dead inside. You need to come with me. Come - "

There was a continual beating on the door, a haphazard one like an erratic pulse. The frame and knob shook a little, dust puffed from the edges.

"Axel, we have purpose outside. Come on. Do not touch that door."

Axel reached out his hand to grab the knob and the door burst open. He was grabbed by the throat and his nose bumped against another's nose. At first Axel saw only snarling teeth and cracked lips with dried blood in their corners. Then he saw green eyes just like his own and he thought for a second that he was looking down into a mirror, but no. The green eyes were framed by grey hair.

"You. Liar," Riku snarled as he held Axel by his collar. "You fucking _liar_. Getting serious? Yeah right. You're letting him get away with trampling your own goddamn memories. You pathetic Organization dog!"

Axel stumbled back when Riku shoved him. The jolt brought back the cell before his eyes. There was Riku standing behind the bars, his head resting on his arms as he leaned against the cage and his hands dangling outside the bars.

"What the hell-" Axel breathed, his throat was tight and craggy.

Riku ignored Axel and moaned painstakingly into his arm, "Sora...he's - you liar! I knew I couldn't trust you, you bastard."

Riku beat his fist against the bar causing them to echo dully.

Zexion cursed lightly behind Axel's back. Axel tried to clear his head by shaking it. He put a hand to his face and found that his skin felt cold and waxy. His fingers trembled slightly.

"What are you doing?" Axel asked Zexion as he leaned against the wall beside Riku's cell. His feet felt heavy, he must have been standing for a while. The depressing scene where he shook Roxas on the bed was still fading from his eyelids. "You were talking about Roxas. Roxas-"

"Is dead," Zexion said lightly. Axel's shoulders crumpled slightly and caved even more as Zexion continued to speak. "He's dead and you blame yourself."

"Because it is my fault."

"No. You said so yourself, you pulled the trigger, but you weren't the only one involved. Listen to me, Axel. I can explain why certain people had to die and whose fault it is that they are dead," Zexion said from close behind.

Axel's muscles relaxed slightly. To erase the guilt of his greatest regret was second to actually bringing Roxas back. Continuing with the Organization to lose that weight would be worth the sweat and blood he poured into their cause. Maybe he could tunnel out of his hell by digging deeper.

"You'll come to see that you had as much control over those situations as a single string does over the entire body of the marionette. It won't be your fault because it never really was. That will grant you some peace."

"Pathetic!" Riku croaked and beat the bars again. "You don't deserve it, Axel. Remember? You told me _you fucked up_. You've got to make up."

"I'm trying," Axel snarled as he lifted his head from his hand. "I'm trying to think of a way."

"Axel, I am giving you a way," Zexion said close to his ear.

Riku lifted his head and glared at Axel.

"I'll give you a way. Let me out and I'll give you a way. I'll repay what you've done to me and that's just for starters," Riku snarled. His voice became a little more plaintive as he said, "You're hurting Roxas the longer you let Sora suffer. Let me out. You said something about Naminé. You're hurting her too. If you want to drag yourself down, fine. Do it. But don't you dare take innocents with you. Let me out if you can't do it."

What Riku said touched a raw nerve in Axel. He wasn't weak, he was confused. And he realized why. The same reason he'd been confused for the past couple months. Axel tried holding Riku's gaze, but he slipped and his eyes fell to the floor. The keys that Zexion had given him were on the floor. They must have fallen out of the door.

"He doesn't sound like a promising friend," Zexion said warningly.

"I'm not looking for friendship with him. I'm looking for a way to make up for my mistakes," Riku barked back.

"If you disband from the Organization then Roxas' death will be for nothing," Zexion snapped at Axel. "The friends you have here will be forgotten and your regret will double. You are needed here. Riku only wants you to open the door. You're an object to him, a means to an end."

"Look who's talking!" Riku fired back. Axel could feel Riku staring at him. "Axel! _Axel!_"

Axel looked grudgingly up at Riku. The silver haired boy was gripping the bars so tightly his knuckles were white.

"I am telling you I'm using you. At least I'm being honest. How many times has this little shit messed with your mind?"

Axel blinked and turned his face to the side. He heard Riku let out a sigh. From the corner of his eye he saw Zexion standing very close behind his back. He saw nothing but the soldier's fuzzy shadow while his cunning voice rang clear.

"Axel, you can either walk forward with your friends fixed in your scope or you can keep glancing over shoulder, looking for a ghost that's only there when you look away," Zexion said while raising a hand and letting it hover over Axel's shoulder.

Axel had to tense his muscles to stop from shivering. Zexion hadn't touched him, but he could sense the presence of a hand. It was unnerving how real the unreal felt on his back. He closed his eyes and loved and regretted what his imagination dragged into his head. As if Axel were looking out of the cell with Riku's perspective, he saw Roxas standing behind him. It wasn't a happy Roxas, or even a completely human one. He looked pale and his blonde hair and blue eyes were faded. His hand actually rested on Axel's shoulder, but it looked more like Roxas was tired and leaning his weight on Axel instead of providing reassurance. His deceased friend wasn't looking into the cell, his gaze was angled to the floor and it seemed that if ghosts could cry he would. _Stop it_, the pale imitation of Roxas said in a tone so wispy it matched his appearance perfectly.

"Stop it," Axel echoed to no one in particular.

Zexion's hand came to rest lightly on Axel's shoulder, as if to comfort him. Like he needed it. He needed Zexion like he needed a bullet to the brain. In some ways they were very alike, Zexion and the bullet; both were quite mind numbing and fatal in the way that they worked through the body. If he aimed the gun at his head there really was no difference between the two.

"You really need to think, Axel," Zexion pressed on, "What is best for you?"

"Is that how your mind works?" Axel asked, his voice cracking with emotion. Between the frustration he felt coming from Riku, the dragging belly of Zexion's words and his own wildly firing emotions, thinking wasn't an option. He would have turned to thoughts of Roxas, thinking what was best to do for his friend, but there was very little that could be done now. The promise to Naminé. He could cling to that...but what did he promise to her again?

Zexion paused, giving Axel a little time to remember.

Dolefully and with trepidation Zexion said, "Yes, that is my compass, I suppose."

"That's pathetic," Riku quipped while Axel said nothing.

"Yet I'm not the one crouching in a dirty cell, my throat worn hoarse from screaming and swallowing my own blood," Zexion said hollowly.

The man behind him and the man before him quieted as Axel said, "I meant to do what was best for my friend. Irony is even harder to swallow than blood," Axel chuckled bitterly, "It's one and the same for me. Right, Zexion?"

"I can explain everything to you, Axel. That may not sound like much, but I promise words can weigh as heavy as gold," Zexion said silkily. He paused before adding in a meaningful tone, "This is not something you'll regret."

No one needed t say it; Axel's biggest regret was Roxas. That wound was still fresh, everyone in the Organization could smell it. He closed his eyes again. Roxas' was still there, but his shoulders were slumped even more and his hand was slipping. He had lost substance or perhaps weight was the better term, if ghosts could lose weight. He looked like a transparent corpse, a very tired transparent corpse. _In a few months_, he said in the reedy voice, _this is what Naminé will bury. She's a good person._

Axel pleaded in his mind for Roxas not to leave like this. Roxas faded though, his hand left Axel, but he could still feel someone patting his shoulder.

His mind was letting go, but a shred of what he was remained and Roxas brought out that piece of his old self.

When he made the promise to Naminé it had felt right, and what the figment of his imagination had said confirmed that it was the right choice to make...but the idea of letting the blame slide off his shoulders felt good. Axel snorted derisively. It might feel _good_ in the sense of relief, but giving in to Zexion wasn't good.

Axel opened his eyes to see Riku glaring at him as he held himself up with the bars.

"Alright," Axel breathed deeply while staring intently at the Twilight Town soldier. Riku stared back with suspicion that Axel couldn't blame him for, "Alright, buddy. No more dicking around."

"It's a smart decision," Zexion said from behind. "It gives purpose to Roxas' pain."

Axel's eyes flickered to the sound of Zexion's voice and then back to Riku. Axel slid his hand over the one on his shoulder and, through grinning lips, he said as he stared at Riku, "I'm gonna need your help, though."

"Of course," Zexion said with false sincerity as Riku straightened up.

Axel said nothing else as he gripped Zexion's wrist and swung him viciously into the bars of the cell. The bars rang like bells and Zexion let out a winded gasp.

"A-Axel – wait – this isn't – I," Zexion wheezed as Riku's hands grabbed Zexion by his lapels, then by his throat.

"I know, babe, I know," Axel said as he backed away, a look of disgust on his face and his head held low. "It would be my hands around your neck if I hadn't considered you a friend once. Why am I having trouble thinking you'd do the same? Maybe it's the knife in my back."

"You'll...regret..." Zexion gasped, his eyes rolled back to stare wide-eyed at Axel.

"Yeah, but I regret Roxas' death more. Guess that makes one of us," Axel looked away, the amount of white showing in Zexion's eyes and his red face made him look like a pinned animal. Axel hissed from the corner of his mouth, "His death meant nothing. Your rank can't save your neck now. So goddamn pointless."

Zexion made an angry guttural noise, but the words died in his throat. Axel could hear his feet slipping and scrabbling on the cracked cement floor and the little noises of Zexion's hands slapping uselessly on Riku's. Zexion wasn't used to getting his hands dirty, he wouldn't have known what to do with Axel if he had gotten free of Riku.

In his last moments, Axel watched Zexion's hands fall from the ones around his throat and his eyes flutter closed. Riku released Zexion with grunt of exhaustion and the academic's body slumped to the floor. Axel stepped forward to stand over Zexion, his body was curled pitifully at his feet. Anger seared Axel's belly as he thought how weak and innocent Zexion looked, how he could have been mistaken for a dreamer with his eyes closed and mouth slightly ajar. No one would mistake Roxas for being asleep.

Axel turned away from Zexion's body and rubbed his eyes.

Riku fell against the wall, his breathing laboured.

"Axel," he wheezed as he stared through his bangs that clung to the sweat on his forehead. Axel looked to Riku. Through clenched teeth Riku ground out, "Get. Me. Out. Of. Here."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> This chapter gave me a little trouble when writing it, but it turned out better with my editor's guidance. I suppose the difficulty came with Axel's mindset. He's not in a very good place right now and he's losing touch with his Organization self. Hopefully it came across that Axel was sorry for Zexion's death, but he really had had enough of the bugger's lack of respect for their friendship. The question is though, did Zexion feel sorry about what he did to Axel? I feel like there should be a dramatic music cue here. Anyway, I actually really like Zexion despite his mind trickery. I wish there was more to be known about Organization XIII in general.


	13. Chapter 13

**Final Days of Service  
><strong>

The snow fell sparsely but the wind whipped it into a weapon. Axel paused at the edge of Hallow Bastion and Riku came to a stop at his side.

"I don't need to rest," Riku said tersely as he stood ankle deep in the snow and favoured one of his legs.

Axel didn't speak as he stared into the night, watching the wind throw snow up and gradually become gentler. Maybe it was the wind that blew the dust and dirt from his mind because outside his head felt clearer. He let out a slow breath and watched the air from his lungs steam upwards then cool and disappear. Riku regarded Axel with slightly hostile suspicion. The freed prisoner snorted and tried to relax.

"Do you want your friends to catch up with us?" he asked Axel.

Axel laughed and, almost sadly, he asked, "What friends?"

"Yeah, I guess after what we did tonight they'll be howling for your blood too."

Axel was silent as he stared out at the black expanse of land and the leafless trees on the dark horizon. Outside his eyes didn't feel as heavy or as swollen with the sleep he was missing.

"We should get moving," Riku said sternly and he hobbled forward, his hurt leg leaving an awkward burrow in the snow next to a regular footprint. It took Riku three footsteps and a short burrow of snow to figure out that Axel hadn't moved an inch. He turned around and looked questioningly at his partner.

In the dim light of an overcast moon, Axel saw Riku standing as tall as he could with the wind pulling at his tattered clothes. He saw Riku for what he was; a hero. He wasn't perfect, he couldn't escape the Organization without some dents in his spirit and body, but he hadn't done anything that he couldn't redeem himself for. Maybe leaving Sora had been a stupid idea, fine, Riku had done wrong. But he could right it by going back to Sora.

Axel had to bow his head against the wind and Riku's equally piercing stare.

"Yeah, about that," Axel said, an ironic grin coming on to his face. "I'm not going with you."

He heard Riku backtrack and found himself forced to look up as Riku grabbed the lapels of his coat.

"You're going back to the Organization?" Riku asked. He shook Axel when he didn't reply. "You're going back to them?"

"Yup," Axel replied and smirked at Riku who glared disbelievingly at him.

"What is _wrong_ with you? Why would you do that?" Riku snarled. As if suddenly disgusted he let go of Axel's coat and shoved him away.

"You're pushy," Axel laughed as he staggered backwards.

"I think you need a good shove in the right direction. Either that or off a cliff. I shouldn't have trusted you, should I have?"

"You're out and free to go to Sora. What more could you ask for?"

"I could ask that you stop running back to the Organization like a little bitch. You know way too much about me and especially about Sora," Riku's breath streamed out of his mouth like smoke and heated Axel's face. In a strained voice, Riku ground out, "I can't let you do to Sora what you did to me. Or to anyone else."

"'Anyone else' comes after Sora, don't they?" Axel asked in a low tone while bowing his eyes from Riku's sight. He thought of children in a makeshift hospital room with tear tracks pointing down to the sullied tiled floor. Of dirt being freckled with snow. Of snow being reddened by blood. The pain in his head felt terrible, so much so that Riku's calloused fist felt like loving knuckles brushing his chin. Axel ended up on his back in the snow.

"I can't believe you of all people are calling me selfish or some kind of villain who doesn't give a damn about others' suffering so long as his boyfriend is safe. Hypocrite!" Riku barked. He stepped away from the man at his feet, but his fists clenched longingly at his side.

A sudden thought came to Axel as he lay in the snow so close to the dirt. Terror filled his stomach and sloshed into his lungs making it hard to breathe. Axel slowly lifted himself into a seated position and lifted a shaking hand to his head.

"Riku, how much do you know about maggots?" Axel asked as he looked down at his lap.

"About – _what?_" Riku's tone changed from confused back to angry as he asked, "Are you trying to change the subject? C'mon, I thought you were smoother than that."

"How long do you think it takes for them to get into the body? They go for the head first, right?" Axel persisted, his fingers skittered along his temple.

"I think you're thinking of the expression 'the head of the fish rots first' and," Riku paused, his throat sounded a little tight. "And, as for maggots, I-I don't really know."

Axel sat at Riku's feet, still, silent and refusing to look anywhere but down at his lap.

"It's a really stupid idea for us to be standing out in the open. We're sitting ducks," Riku prompted.

Axel nodded but he didn't feel like talking when he had maggots to worry about. They would probably go for Roxas' pretty blue eyes first and then his lips. Axel wouldn't be able to kiss him goodbye without worms falling into his mouth.

"Hey, it's cold outside. It's winter. It's the time of the year when most of the environment is asleep. Probably even maggots," Axel heard the compassion in Riku's voice and saw his kindness extended further by the tips of Riku's fingers being offered to him. He looked up and realized they must have been having this odd exchange for a couple minutes, what with the snow building up on the top of Riku's head and shoulders. Riku's eyes were steady, bringing a sort of clarity to Axel. His newly found ally curled his fingers in a gesture for Axel to take his hand, as he added lightly, "And even if they could get in, he's not there. It's just his body."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I flunked out of science on the first day, probably sooner than you," Axel laughed grimly, "Vexen and I didn't exactly get along."

He took Riku's hand, but with Riku's tattered state Axel lifted most of his own weight. Riku chuckled drily at Axel's comment.

"Riku," he said while staring the other boy in the eyes with his steadiest gaze possible. Riku lifted his head in anticipation. Gingerly Axel said, "Tell Sora I'm sorry. For all of it."

Riku stiffened and sighed with suppressed anger.

"You're chickening out?" Riku taunted.

"In a way, yeah, but I don't think it's what you're thinking."

"You're going back to the Organization?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's exactly as I think," Riku scoffed and turned his back on Axel. Bitterly, Riku said over his shoulder, "Fine. Do what you want. Just leave me, Sora and _everyone_ else out of it. If you want to destroy yourself, then go ahead."

"Thanks," Axel chuckled, amused by the frustrated little twitches Riku's fingers made at his side.

Riku snorted and spat out, "Organization dog," before he started walking.

"Hey, Riku."

Riku paused about ten feet away and glared at Axel.

"If you want to guarantee Sora's and _everyone else's_ safety," Axel's lips twitched into a smirk before falling to a stern, flat line, "get Sora out of that house and somewhere safe where the Organization won't find him. Ha, the eyes of the Organization are closed anyways."

Zexion's body was probably curled like a dead bug outside the cell, just beneath a thin haze of smoke creeping out from the room down the hall.

"Then board up the house," Axel continued speaking to Riku who stood looking dumbfounded and worried, "Nail all the windows shut, pile up furniture in front of the backdoor. Lock everything. And you've gotta get this done within the next couple days."

"Why? What's the point in barricading the house if no one's inside?" Riku asked.

"Just don't make the front door too hard to get into, and maybe leave Roxas' window alone, okay?" Axel said, ignoring Riku's question.

"What are you planning, Axel?"

Axel shrugged.

"Oh, just the end of the war."

"I don't know if I like the sound of this," Riku said, the unease evident in his voice. "It sounds like...Axel, let me know what you're planning. You're in no state to make difficult decisions."

"Oh, I don't know. I've terrorized people without even meaning to and I've ended good lives thinking I was some kind of hero. Those things happened because I didn't make my own decisions. I think I can handle one last mission. Besides," Axel tried not to leer or let any bitterness escape on his words, "think of what you might lose. Do you want to lose your best friend?"

When Riku remained silent Axel nodded and said, "See? Told ya so."

"You're really frustrating. You have no idea how much self-control it takes to not beat the information out of you."

"Maybe later, babe," Axel ran a hand along his jaw, "Talking feels a bit painful after your punch. Picking a fight with you would be a real treat, that's for sure."

Riku stood with fists still clenched and eyes searching everywhere for some kind of answer. Axel watched Riku struggle with a smirk on his face, but he thought he heard a faint alarm in the background. The alarm sounded like a mournful cry cried on the wind and Axel jumped, imaging cold and burnt fingers crawling up his spine to pull him into the earth. He must have ended someone terribly tonight.

Axel ran up to Riku and came within an inch of being punched again when he startled the other soldier. Axel slipped off his jacket and shoved it into Riku's hands.

"It might help disguise you and it might not. At the very least you won't freeze running to your boy. Then again, maybe you won't need it," he teased, "You've got the icy glare down pat so maybe you like this kind of weather."

Riku still looked furious and seemed like he wanted to interject, but the growing lights behind them rattled Riku's temper.

Before Riku took off, Axel gripped him by the upper arm. Riku snarled and looked about to really send Axel flying until he saw the thinly veiled distress on Axel's face.

"And, if you don't mind," Axel's eyes lowered to his boots and he cleared his throat forcefully, "Tell Naminé that I won't be able to get my reward for coming through on her end of the bargain. Just...tell her to choose somewhere nice."

"Okay," Riku said and, finally, they ran off in opposite directions.

* * *

><p>"There you are," Saix said grimly from the bathroom doorway.<p>

Axel stepped out of the shower stall, the steam billowing around him as he stood before Saix with a towel wrapped around his waist.

Axel cheekily cocked a hip out and said in a sultry tone, "Here I am."

Saix did little more than huff and cross his arms before continuing on in a drab tone.

"The Superior has called you to his office."

"At this late at night, huh?"

"It's nearing dawn," Saix narrowed his eyes as he searched Axel's face. "Don't tell me you didn't hear the alarm."

"Oh I heard it. It's what woke me up, but I decided to spring for the showers," Axel walked over to the sinks and pretended to be checking his reflection. He noted Saix moving into the corner of the mirror, the blue haired soldier watching him with his arms crossed. "I thought Xemnas might call on his top dogs for some ridiculous mission at three in the morning. I like starting my day off with clean hands."

Saix snorted and his lips parted into a grin in the fogged mirror. Axel's fingers clamped down on the counter like the claws of an eagle trying to pin down a struggling animal. _Calm, calm, Axel_.

"And here I thought you revelled in doing the dirty work," Saix sneered, "Depending on when Luxord and Xaldin get back, your hands may be soiled again before noon."

_Shhh_.

"Oh?" Axel asked as offhandedly as he could. His arms trembled slightly.

"Riku has escaped and Zexion and Vexen are dead."

"Dead..." _Just keep quiet. Keep calm._

"Yes. Zexion was found strangled outside of Riku's cell. Vexen, or what was left of him, was found in his lab. The room was set on fire. We have reason to believe that Vexen was still alive when the room was lit."

"Yeah?" Axel asked through his teeth. _Just don't think about it_.

"The drugs that were being administered to Riku were administered to Vexen in greater amounts, though not enough to kill. Enough for paralysis."

Vexen's death wasn't something pleasant to think about, but there were other deaths that were worse to conjure up. Roxas' voice faded and a ringing started up in Axel's ears instead.

"Being a lab, the room was well ventilated and Vexen would have been paralyzed on the ground. Do you know what this means?" Saix asked, his face rigid.

"Nah, I've never been one for science."

The ringing persisted, like little bells shaking violently.

"It means that Vexen was burned alive, rather than dying from smoke inhalation. His death must have been excruciating and slow."

"Had a thing for him or something?" Axel asked quickly. "Geez, don't bore me with your mourning."

The ringing continued like chimes in the wind.

"Is this a defence mechanism?" Saix asked coldly.

Except that the wind ravaged the bells and made them scream instead of sing.

"I don't know. Why don't you ask someone who does?" Axel snapped while turning around to face the other soldier.

The wind began to calm.

Saix blinked and his face became shadowed.

"Zexion would have been the one to ask. He can't speak now. Nor can he tell us exactly how the events of last night played out."

Axel just shrugged and turned his back on Saix to get dressed.

"Tell me," Saix asked, his voice echoing off the tiled room, "where do you think Riku would go once he was free?"

"Don't know, don't care," Axel mumbled as he laced up his boots.

"Even though he killed Zexion and Vexen?"

Axel just remained silent as he shrugged on his shirt.

"I think he would head for the farmhouse or for Twilight Town's hospital," Saix suggested lightly.

"Then go tell the General that."

"I already have. Luxord and Xaldin have been dispatched to both locations."

"That's fantastic," Axel turned to see Saix still standing there, looking at him with a frigid contemplative look in his eyes. Axel ran a hand through his damp hair with the twitchiness of exhaustion and stress. "What do you want?"

"You were one of the last people to see Riku before he escaped. Vexen and Zexion would have been ideal to question, but that is no longer possible. Xaldin and Luxord are away at the moment and it is to my understanding that you helped escort Riku back to his cell yesterday," Saix paused to search Axel's face, but Axel turned away, pretending to be shy while buttoning up his shirt. "So...did Riku say anything suspicious or informative to you?"

"Well, he did tell me to go fuck myself. Does that help?"

Saix just blinked.

"The General is waiting," he said over his shoulder and exited the bathroom.

Axel snorted and turned back to the mirror. His eyes were purple and swollen, and his skin looked like wax with the only colour on his face being the yellow hue Riku's fist left on his chin.

"Roxas..." Axel whispered, looking into his own tired eyes to see if a flicker of what their life had been was there. There was nothing.

* * *

><p>The light was subdued in Xemnas' office and the soldiers spoke in quiet tones. The only officers present other than the General and himself were Saix and Lexaeus, so the room radiated an iciness that matched the weather nicely.<p>

"Were his tracks found?" Xemnas asked Lexaeus and Saix. Axel had pressed himself against the office wall and peered through the blinds, watching light appear on the horizon.

"No, the snow covered them," Lexaeus answered sombrely.

Xemnas turned to Saix, "Has Luxord reported yet?"

Saix shook his head, "No, sir."

"What of Xaldin?"

"Nothing, sir."

Xemnas paused and the room went cold. Axel just continued to stare out the window and waited for Xemnas' dismissal.

Finally, Xemnas spoke, his voice sounding like rocks landing in a dry well. Each word seemed to rattle through the people in the room, but Axel only felt Xemnas' cold anger without understanding the words. He just couldn't bring himself to care in this place. He was thinking about how deep the snow was, how frozen the ground would be by now and whether Riku was on his way to Twilight Town with a hopefully alive Sora.

"Saix, if Luxord and Xaldin do not report back within the next 48 hours organize a search party. As of the moment all missions are put on hold until we have information."

Xemnas must have nodded them off because Saix and Lexaeus headed for the door. Axel began moving slowly towards the exit while his eyes remained on the window.

"A word, Axel," Xemnas said in his deep voice.

Axel drooped back against the wall and looked to Xemnas. His General stood between him and the door, the cold man's hands clasped behind his back and his eyes staring placidly at him.

"Sir?" Axel replied with no real enthusiasm.

Xemnas stared into Axel's eyes and, for a moment, Axel thought he was staring into a mirror. Xemnas had no expression and Axel had nothing to express. Axel averted his gaze.

"I haven't spoken with you in a while," the General said after a pause.

Axel shrugged.

"You're a busy man. People to torture," Axel ground his teeth and a spark spluttered in his eye, "medics to kill. Busy."

"Modesty looks good on you," he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "but it is you who performed most admirably almost a week ago. You are a hero, Axel. The only misfortune is Riku's escape."

"Ha...no wonder there are so few heroes," Axel chuckled darkly, "We all deserve to die for our deeds."

"That barely makes sense, soldier."

"Probably 'cause I barely care."

"You should care a little more then," Xemnas said as he walked up to Axel. There was cold satisfaction in Xemnas' eyes and Axel couldn't stand to look at his General. There was just too much to hate about the man. Maybe he didn't have the evidence he had for Zexion's betrayal, but the man before him ruled over the little traitor so there was fault in him.

Axel was jarred when his superior clapped a hand on his shoulder. Though he stared straight at the wall he could feel Xemnas' grin in his words like grease in the air as he said, "I'm promoting you for your excellent work and the heroic courage you displayed on the field. If time allows, your excellence will also be rewarded with a medal."

Maybe it was rage, maybe it was hate either for Xemnas or himself, but a white searing wall sprung up before his eyes and he wasn't quite sure what was going on outside his mind. This isn't what Roxas' death should mean, thought Axel, I just don't want any of this anymore.

Like many of the times when Axel closed his eyes or thought of the worst he had done, he saw Roxas as he had been the day he died. Axel had just closed his friend's eyes and was waiting in a world of white for a stranger to take them both away, but no one was coming. Then Roxas' eyes flew open and he turned his head to look up at Axel. He didn't want to hear Roxas' dying words.

Xemnas was squeezing his shoulder and chuckling slightly. Axel put a couple tentative fingers to his cheek and let his hand fall when he felt a dampness to his face. Xemnas moved past him to sit behind his desk while Axel wiped his eyes.

"You see it is possible to find meaning in death," Xemnas said as he took a seat, "That boy's death means more power for you. It's an accomplishment."

"Yeah...right," Axel said numbly, "So, since I'm promoted, can I ask you something relating to the mission I was promoted for?"

"Of course, Sergeant," Xemnas said with only the slightest of hesitation.

Axel ignored the surge of pain that the title brought, and turned to face his superior.

"What is the key you were talking about?"

"Something that was crucial to unlocking Riku's tongue," he replied from behind a steeple of fingers.

"Some_thing_ or some_one_ ?"

"Is there a difference when it comes to Twilight Town people?"

"There is a difference if the person isn't from Twilight Town," Axel said through gritted teeth.

Xemnas sighed as if the conversation tired him and said, "If someone is wearing an enemy's uniform he is an enemy. But why bother talking about the minor mechanics of war, especially when you seem to need no help discovering what they are?"

"I just want to know why he had to die."

"Because he was an enemy."

"See, you say that, but I don't think that's the whole reason," his voice cracked with anger and he had to bury his fist in his thigh to hide its shaking. "Fine, if it walks like a Twilight Town soldier, if it looks like a Twilight Town soldier, then it's a Twilight Town soldier and it's good for hunting. _Randomly_. This murder was planned and targeted. I want to know why."

"Because he was dangerous."

"Bullshit!" Axel slammed his hands on Xemnas' desk unsettling papers but not his superior. "He had a limp, he was carrying medical supplies, he was unarmed and running towards us with arms spread wide. And I know Zexion was watching him, so don't try and tell me you thought he could be plotting something when Zexion saw nothing like that going on."

Axel's chest heaved as he braced himself on the desk. Xemnas was silent and then he laughed.

"And despite everything you've just told me, you still shot him."

"Yeah," he breathed out a deep breath and tried not to think of snow and blood. "Yeah. But I want to know why. I need to know or I won't..."

"Won't what? Continue to fight? Nonsense. You will continue to serve because I will continue to give orders," Xemnas said and Axel didn't argue. "You will find that your job only gets easier now. You have no restraints. You're not tied down anymore."

Axel chuckled sadly.

"I've never been tied down. I've always been a loose cannon."

Axel looked up and Xemnas stared contemplatively at him. After a pause Xemnas spoke cautiously.

"I was sceptical of Saix at first, but he has always been balanced in his disciplines. He understands people on a personal level and on a larger scale," Xemnas turned his head and looked out his window. The sun made his yellow eyes blaze as he continued to speak, "Riku has the information we need to end the war, but the fool would rather die than have his home crushed. He, like most men, has weak spots and his weakest spot was conveniently wounded and exhausted. The only inconvenience was the other boy. Anything I would have done to either one would have dire consequences because of your attachment.

"You feel regret for what happened to that boy more than you feel anything else, and now you work because you don't know what else to do," Xemnas said with a blank expression as he looked to Axel. "As Saix predicted."

"I never pegged you as someone who would who'd keep his trap closed to show respect for the dead," Axel barked, "Saix didn't predict shit. That was Zexion's job."

"Zexion reported to Saix," Xemnas' lips curled in amusement, "And Saix is more than capable to make his own deductions."

"Well it was a dumb deduction."

"Because you hate him? Saix doesn't care, no one does. And you're no threat on your own, only with the Organization are you powerful."

Nothing was making sense to Axel. Roxas died because Xemnas desired it to happen. What Xemnas hadn't banked on was Axel teaming up with Riku, if only momentarily. And now Xemnas saw no threat in Axel because it was clear by his exhaustion and swinging emotions that he was losing who he had been. As Axel stood leaning on Xemnas' desk, eyes glazed and breathing uneven, he found that he didn't care too much about losing himself. His reason for joining the Organization was to protect Roxas and with Roxas gone now what was his reason for continuing? But what was his reason for anything else when his guilt for Roxas' death kept him from seeking any happiness? Because wouldn't it be nice if everyone who had a hand in Roxas' death burned? And that would help Sora, and Roxas loved his brother.

* * *

><p>Axel couldn't help but laugh at how hard it was for him to sleep when the beds around his were empty. No bitching from Larxene, or creaks from Zexion slipping out of bed, or Demyx's snores. There were other soldiers in the room, but none took over any of the dead soldiers' beds. Axel seriously doubted it was out of respect, it was more likely that the other soldiers suspected the mattresses of being haunted. That and no one seemed to want to be around Axel. He didn't want to be around them either.<p>

* * *

><p>Lexaeus approached him the next day. The large officer looked upon Axel in his quiet way with disdain. Axel was a brick wall; he didn't feel the accusation of Lexaeus' stare.<p>

"Luxord and Xaldin have not returned," Lexaeus said, his voice like the grumbles of thunder.

Axel's face remained unchanged after Lexaeus' foreboding news. He continued to stare out of the gates of the Organization's headquarters, presumably to keep watch for Riku, though he knew he was more likely to see dragons grazing among sheep than the Twilight Town soldier in the expanse of land.

"What a shame," Axel said flatly.

* * *

><p>Whenever Axel's eyes closed he would see horrible things that made him toss and turn and, at the same time as seeing these things, he would wonder if he was asleep or if he had been awake all night.<p>

After the dream where he saw Naminé dragging Roxas' body by the foot through Twilight Town rubble, his boy's face to the ground and teeth scraping dirt into his mouth, he stopped even bothering with attempting to sleep. Instead he sat in bed with the window open wide, letting in the snowy wind and imagining his thoughts drifting out like smoke. The cold kept him awake and kept the other soldiers farther away.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Just a couple things to let you all know. One: the next chapter is the ending, but I think I'll release the epilogue at the same time because it really isn't that long.

Two: Whether you think he deserves it or not, give Axel some love. He's got it pretty rough right now.

Three: That's it! Have a good day, morning, afternoon or night depending on your time zone and schedule!


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** Not much to say except for I hope you enjoy your stay on this page and I hoped you enjoyed your journey through the thirteen other pages containing angst ridden boys, blood, mind-screwing and general mayhem.

* * *

><p><strong>This Little Light of Mine<br>**

Axel and Lexaeus were sent out by Xemnas to scout the areas Luxord and Xaldin were sent to. If Riku or Sora was spotted they were to radio back to Xemnas straight away.

The General had stood with Saix at his side, the blue haired soldier staring with a fixation at him. Axel ignored Saix though the guy made him grind his teeth. Axel took a little pleasure in the General's slightly uncomfortable state. Xemnas' tone was curt and the small bags under his eyes suggested he had not slept well last night. With his top soldiers disappearing and his numbers dwindling, it only made sense that the strain was starting to show. Axel wished there was some way to drown the man in stress. Make him swell with it and let stress burst his veins and leave Xemnas as a dried out husk. Saix didn't look like he was as strained as Xemnas. Axel guessed there was a little more pressure to being number one and _the only_ number one in the Organization. Xemnas didn't share power well and Axel couldn't help but smirk at his thought that Xemnas must have been an only child.

Axel was supposed to venture to Twilight Town while Lexaeus scoured the farmhouse, and he almost did head for the town to speak with Naminé, but fear prickled in the back of his mind. Perhaps Sora hadn't been well enough to travel and Lexaeus would stumble across a weak Riku as the boy's guard.

Axel followed the man's large footprints in the snow while he kept far enough back to not actually see the other solider. The Organization uniforms were great cover for night missions or dark surroundings, but when the trees stood bare and dead with icicles for leaves the uniform was a handicap.

Axel was following the tracks with eyes trained to the ground and snorting out steam, when he heard an odd screeching noise deeper in the woods. His head lifted and he bolted towards the source of the scream, unmindful of the noise he was making. He was running through a small clearing when he sputtered to a stop and did a double take. There was no one there and if his mind wasn't stuck in the past he would have heard the muffled yelling up ahead.

The glade Axel stood in was small and, though everything was cloaked with snow, he knew a river was nearby. He could even have been standing on it, the stream sleeping in a frozen state just waiting for warmer weather. In fact he saw his feet submerged to the ankles at the edge of the river and the summer sun dappled his legs.

He heard a laugh and turned to see Roxas standing a couple feet away by the edge of the river. Axel waved and Roxas just laughed as he bent his knees and leapt for the deepest part of the river. Axel yelled and waved for him to stop, the stream was deep and flowing strongly, but Roxas sunk with a single neat ripple.

A real life splash brought Axel out of his reverie. Somewhere up ahead someone had broken through the ice and if that someone hadn't gotten out already, there could have been a person floating just beneath where Axel stood.

Axel found the hole in the ice as well as red speckles and kicked up snow. The spaces between the trees, where there was evidence of a fight, left tracks undecipherable. However, a trail of two sets of prints led away from the mangled mess of snow. The tracks of the two led out of the woods to the east.

Axel followed them, but broke from the trail when he realized the two people were headed to Twilight Town and away from the farmhouse.

He wanted to check on the farmhouse, though he was almost one hundred percent sure that it would be vacant now. When he got to the house he noticed that most of the windows were boarded up, but the door was wide open. Axel stood on the porch looking into the dark interior as his heart beat in his throat. Surprise widened his eyes when he thought he saw a flicker of movement inside. His lips became a snarl and he drew his knife from his belt as he quietly entered the house.

The house moaned as if it was sad to be empty. Axel peeked into the kitchen but saw nothing and no one. His muscles were starting to loosen and he had lowered his knife when he saw something move in the corner of his eye in the living room. Axel shuffled silently down the hall, knife gripped tightly and blade preceding any other part of his body. At the end of the hall he waited to see movement again and sprung...at nothing. There was no one in the living room, just furniture. Through a half boarded up window the branches of a tree swayed and shifted shadows around the room.

Axel laughed and it echoed throughout the living room.

"That's all it was? Just shadows from a tree? Man, I haven't been scared of that kind of thing since..." Axel paused and looked to the floor.

Shadows, lightening and the dark were just as threatening to Axel when he was a kid even though he refused to admit it. He was even less likely to admit his discomfort when around his friends. In fact he was braver when around Roxas and, likewise, Roxas was more bolstered against childhood fears when around Axel.

The changing shadows of the branches in the dim room reminded Axel of a day long ago. The living room would have been even darker than it was now and the ankle deep snow would have been even deeper rainwater. There was thunder loud enough to rattle the dishes in their cupboards and when the lightening didn't blaze through the windows, the small gas lantern was the only light in the room.

He and Roxas sat on the couch trying to play cards by the lamp light, but the threat of a flood had them both worried. Sora and Riku were working outside to prevent the water from getting in.

Sora had come inside to grab another lamp. He was soaked and had mud up to his knees, but he smiled and said the rain was letting up. Axel had offered to help but Sora just shook his head.

"Seriously, Axel, Riku and I have got this. And if you come out Roxas will want to come out," Sora said as he lit the lamp, "I'd prefer my little brother not get sick."

"No offence, Sora, but I've got a couple years on you," Axel quipped. He leaned casually in the doorway to the living room. Roxas sat on the couch behind him and Sora stood by the door.

"I know, but this is my house. It wouldn't be right to have you and Riku be the only ones working."

"That's nice and all, but I'll start to feel useless just sitting in here all snug and dry."

Sora laughed as he kicked the door open with his booted foot. The rain was letting up but the thunder persisted.

"Axel, with your height you'd be a walking lightening rod out there. And I wouldn't call you useless," Sora smiled as he pulled his hood on, "With how my brother talks about you, he would never stand for that kind of talk."

"Oh no?" Axel asked with genuine curiosity and stood straighter in the doorway. He looked over his shoulder and caught Roxas' gaze. The boy averted his eyes and went back to looking at his cards.

"I should get back outside. Riku always takes too much on by himself," Sora said as he nodded to a lone figure wandering in the rain. When he turned back to Axel, Sora was blushing, "Just don't tell Roxas I said anything about him talking to me about you."

"Oh he's said _more_ about me?"

"No, well, yeah. You're his best friend, but he hasn't said anything _bad_, he just – I should be getting back to Riku," Sora finished quickly and ducked outside to where the pelting rain would cool his cheeks.

Axel smirked at Sora's back and turned around to return to his friend.

Roxas stared down at his cards and appeared unfazed as Axel settled down on the couch, a little closer than before.

"It's your turn," Roxas said casually as he picked at his cards.

Axel just _hmm_ed and picked up his cards. Roxas thumbed his own hand and let his eyes wander to his best friend's face. After his talk with Sora a few nights ago, his heart seemed to beat a little faster with suspicion when Sora and Axel were left to talk alone. Roxas ran a finger across his ace of hearts and wondered if Axel had meant to press his leg against his own, or if maybe Axel was just being in-your-face and in-your-space, or if maybe the storm had gotten to him, or maybe Sora had said something and Axel was teasing him. The thunder grumbled low.

"I'm not sure what to play. Let me take a look at your cards," Axel said and leaned his chin on Roxas' shoulder.

"H-hey!" Roxas protested and his shoulders immediately tensed. He folded his cards and placed them face down on his lap. He neglected to shrug Axel off him though, enjoying his friend's face being so close to his own, even if the bastard was cheating. Axel retracted and with a pleased smile he threw down a card.

"Keep your eyes on your own hand," Roxas scolded and jokingly kicked Axel.

"Well, if you're so concerned about cheating why don't we make rules to protect against it?"

"There _are_ rules against cheating. You just ignore them."

"Do I? My bad," Axel said with mock sincerity.

Roxas just shook his head as he held his cards closer to his chest to look through them. Slyly, he hoped that Axel would try to snake his head around to see his cards now. He would have to get even closer. To his disappointment Axel drew back and covered his eyes.

"Alright, how 'bout when it's the other person's turn you have to close your eyes," Axel said with a hand over his eyes and his lips in a smirk.

"Why?" Roxas asked suspiciously.

"Because you're complaining about cheating."

Roxas threw down a card and Axel opened his eyes. He stared expectantly at Roxas and even mimicked sliding his lids closed as he waited for his friend to close his eyes. Roxas just shook his head.

"No, really. Why should I close my eyes?"

"This feels like déjà vu. Do I have to explain it again?"

"Yeah 'cause I don't know what you're _really_ up to."

"What I'm _really_ up to?"

"Yeah. What are you _really_ up to?"

"God, Roxas, you _really_ are _really_ blond."

"Really?"

"_Really_ really."

"Wait, why am I really blond?" Roxas asked confused now.

Axel chuckled in a mischievous sort of way, slapped his cards down on the table and turned to Roxas.

"Because," Axel said in a slow way that put emphasis on each word, "I am flirting with you."

Axel clapped a hand over Roxas' eyes and kissed his best friend.

"And you're not taking the hint," Axel said and kissed him a second time before letting the boy see again.

The house groaned loudly and Axel turned his eyes to the hallway. Still caught up in the memories of the past, Axel thought he saw Roxas' silhouette bolt down the hall and to the stairs.

"Roxas!" Axel screamed and tore after the shadow. He thought he saw his friend run up the stairs so he pursued, tripping on a tool box on his way up and landing painfully against the stairs.

"Roxas!" Axel yelled, running into Roxas' room once he had picked himself up. He whipped his gaze around the room searching for the nothing he had been chasing. Eventually he came to realize that there was no one inside the house but himself.

Anger burned inside his chest. He was furious with himself and with the Organization. They had driven him to this, chasing shadows in an empty house. He barely even noticed what he did next.

* * *

><p>There were strange smells around him and not at all comforting. Axel sat just beneath Roxas' bedroom window. It was open and allowed for some of the vapours that crept from downstairs to drift out. He leaned against the wall with his face tilted up as if he were drinking in the cold night air and sighing it out. He had no lights on and he liked it better that way.<p>

He felt more at rest in this place and he even started drifting off despite the chill in the room. Every part of him felt heavy, but the heaviest parts of his body were his eyes. He didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want the chance to dream. Nightmares made him want to vomit and dreams tore his heart out. If he still had a heart, Axel thought.

The room lit up when the clouds moved out of the moon's path. The light fell on Roxas' window and illuminated Axel in the square of light the pane allowed. He stood up stiffly and looked outside. The moon was only half full and to Axel it looked sad and broken. He couldn't help thinking that he was somehow responsible for its state.

By the moon's light Axel set back to work. He slid the window closed and nailed it shut. Then he unclipped the radio from his waist and put it close to his lips.

"I've found Riku and Sora."

* * *

><p>Axel knew Roxas' house better than his own by now, so when he heard a creak from the porch he knew which step someone was on. Boots crunched glass in the doorway and Saix grunted.<p>

"Yes, despite what Sergeant Axel reported last night, it seems Riku had enough drive to put up a decent fight," Xemnas growled.

"And where did Sergeant Axel say he'd be waiting with the prisoners?" Saix asked from the doorway. Axel could hear the wariness in the blue haired soldier's voice.

"He reported that he cornered them in the boy's room," Xemnas said as he continued farther into the house, but paused when Saix made an odd noise. "What is it?"

"Sir, in the snow. It looks like a hand," Saix could be heard walking out of the house and landing in the snow with a muffled leap.

Curiosity and fear mingled in Axel's mind. He hadn't noticed anything or anyone outside and what made him even more distressed was that Xemnas had taken a couple steps back to the door. He had hoped that Xemnas and his patrol would at least make it up stairs before they noticed anything off, but it looked like he had little control now.

"Sir..." Saix said slightly surprised, "it's Luxord. I think he's been-"

Axel appeared from the kitchen with an unlit lantern in hand and shut the door, cutting himself and Xemnas off from Saix and most of the morning's light. Axel saw Xemnas blink but express no amount of surprise.

"It's a bit chilly with that door open. By the way, got a light, General?" Axel asked as he held up the lantern.

"Sergeant Axel, what exactly do you think you are doing?" Xemnas asked in a cool voice.

"Never mind," Axel said, dipping his hand into his pocket to dig out a matchbox. He pulled a match out and held it between leering lips as he slid the box back into his pocket. Axel mumbled, "Found my own. I forgot my mommy and daddy aren't around to tell me not to play with matches."

Xemnas just stood with impassive eyes as Axel bent to light the match on his boot.

"Oh yeah," Axel chuckled as he lit the wick in the lantern. "I suppose Roxas would have told me not to fuck around with fire, but he's not here either."

Axel blew out the match and tossed it at Xemnas' feet where a thin stream of smoke curled around his ankles.

"Ah, I see now," Xemnas said leeringly.

Axel held the lantern higher to shed more light on the General.

"I should hope so. I lit this thing for your benefit after all."

"You really did take that boy's demise badly."

"How else was I supposed to take it?" Axel barked, the lantern swung with his wild motions of exasperation. "Was I supposed to take it like I took everything else you said? I might have done what you asked but almost never did I like it. Working for the Organization is like one-sided bad sex. I always have to grit my teeth and get what you wanted done for your pleasure. I'm not doing it anymore."

"Eloquent as always, Sergeant, but I don't think being a strategist was ever meant to be part of your destiny," Xemnas drew a gun from a holster at his hip and aimed it in Axel's direction. "Move away from the door. Unless you plan to fight me with your light you are defenceless and hopelessly overpowered."

"Do you honestly think I care anymore?" Axel scoffed.

Xemnas' grip twitched and his eyes narrowed. The General's uncertainty brought a smirk to Axel's lips.

"'Cause honestly I don't."

Axel swung the lantern against the door and if the oil wasn't fuel enough to spread the flames quickly, the fresh paint and paint thinner that outlined the doorframe was. Strokes of the flammable substances, that looked like bursting veins stemmed across the ceiling, were at first illuminated by the fire then ignited.

With the boarded windows and lack of interior lighting, the muck on the ceiling and walls further in couldn't be seen in the dark. The vapours should have been a strong clue, but after enduring the smells of war odd and rank odours just didn't seem as out of place anymore.

Xemnas looked to the fire cackling happily along the ceiling and back to Axel before lowering his gun and darting into the kitchen down the hall. Axel didn't bother pursuing, instead he dug another match out of his pocket and raced to the living room. He lit it off his boot and tossed it into the centre of the room. The little leaping match partially illuminated a small pile of broken glass, metal skeletons of other lanterns and a pool of lamp oil oozing out of the pile. There was a burst of flames and smoke as the fire roared with wild triumph.

Axel heard a rapid fire of gunshot from the kitchen and hit the floor. None of the bullets whizzed past him, so he went into a crouch and peered around the doorway into the kitchen. Xemnas was just setting his gun on the counter to free his hands so that he could pull at the boards, now riddled with holes, that were nailed to the window.

Axel struck another match and moved into the doorway. He whistled, causing Xemnas to glance over his shoulder. Axel tossed the match on the counter where bottles stopped with rags lay dangerously in wait for a spark to bring them to life.

"No!" Xemnas snarled as he reached for his gun, but the flames snaked quickly along the counter and bit at his fingers. Just as quickly as he pulled his fingers away Xemnas drew a knife from his belt and let it fly towards Axel, but he had already swung around the corner again to get out of range. Xemnas threw himself from the other entry way to the kitchen just as glass and fire shrieked out of the room.

Axel was on his feet first and bolted for the stairs, striking another match on an already flaming banister. For the second time in two days Axel ended up tripping painfully while running up the farmhouse's staircase. This time wasn't an accident though and Axel huffed when a fist burrowed into his ribs. He ignored the urge to turn around to dig his own fist into his superior's face and instead tried to grasp the splinter of wood that still burned on a step above him. His fingers fumbled with it, doing little more that spinning the minute piece of wood, until a single gloved finger crushed the flame before his eyes.

In a voice that seemed to fit perfectly with the roar of the fire downstairs, Xemnas spoke close to Axel's ear.

"I expected treason from you someday. Dogs born wild always have the greatest chance of biting their masters. What I didn't expect was this _cowardice_."

Axel's retort became a snarl of pain as Xemnas twisted Axel's one arm behind his back and grabbed hold of the boy's hair with his other.

"Setting traps like a spider, too cowardly to face me alone. You had to wait until I was ensnared before you even dared look me in the eye. And so poor at planning that you let your own web entangle you as well," Xemnas twisted Axel's arm further, close to snapping it, as he snarled, "I taught you better, soldier. Now that boy truly did die for nothing."

"It's your own fucking web! You trained me for this and prepared me for this," Axel said with his mouth buried into the carpet on the stairs. "Geez, people always seem to react badly when their own shit blows up in their face."

Xemnas lifted Axel's face from the carpet by his hair and their eyes met. Axel sneered defiantly while Xemnas surveyed him with a cooling glare.

"You had potential for ruling, but now you only have potential for destruction. If you crave bereavement so badly, I will gladly supply."

It was hard to laugh with Xemnas' knee rammed into his spine and his chest melding to the shape of the staircase, but he managed a couple dry heaves.

"I didn't want power, I never wanted destruction and I don't know exactly what be-whatever that is," Axel took in a painful lungful of the acrid air. The fumes of the various flammable substances seemed to be clinging and coating the inside of his nose and his eyes were starting to water. Axel tried to clear his eyes by rubbing them on the carpeted edge of the stairs.

"The only thing I want is my friend back," Axel tried bucking Xemnas off as he barked over his shoulder, "Can you do that? _Huh_, _sir_?"

It became a lot harder to breathe when Xemnas slid a knife between Axel's ribs and pierced one of his lungs. Xemnas pulled the blade back out and got off his soldier lying on the stairs. He wiped the blood off on Axel's cheek and sheathed his knife.

"I can do something of similar effect," Xemnas said calmly as he ascended the stairs. He gazed down at Axel who writhed and took rapid breaths, trying to get enough air. The house's air supply was as sealed as Axel's fate though, and he knew this.

"Y-you stingy bastard," Axel coughed through pained and grinning lips, "you o-only ever gave us o-one knife. You're just cruel."

Xemnas just blinked and continued ascending the stairs.

"You'll regret this!" Axel called after him. He thought he heard Xemnas chuckle over the roar of the fire, and so Axel laughed too. "Yeah. You won't."

Xemnas was likely headed to Roxas' room. He had probably guessed that out of all of the rooms in the house, it was the least likeliest to be turned into a goring hell. Pitifully Axel had nailed Roxas' window shut the night before, but Xemnas could break the glass or slip the blade of his knife beneath the pane. Escape was possible for the General who thought only with cold, battlefield logic. For Axel, escape wasn't that simple, even if he had both his lungs.

The shock was wearing off and Axel was able to manoeuvre into a hunched sitting position, and eventually into a curled standing position. He was almost at the top of the stairs when he heard the shattering of glass. The bang of a gun made Axel's heart jump, and he cursed at the spasm that ripped through his wound as he started to climb faster. He had to let go of the railing at the stair's end, and found that he was as unable to stand properly without support as his lung was unable to hold air in. He crawled to Roxas' room with one hand pressed against his wound.

When he got to the doorway he sat on his knees and leaned against the doorframe. The scene inside shocked him. Roxas' window was shattered, and judging by the small amount of glass actually in the room, he suspected that it had been broken from the inside. Xemnas hadn't escaped yet and he crouched against the wall with his arms crossed and head bowed, as if deep in thought.

Maybe it was the fumes, the smoke in the room, or that Axel's tired brain just wasn't getting enough oxygen, but the General seemed to be smiling and gritting his teeth at the same time. He lifted his head at the sound of Axel's heavy breathing. At first he didn't seem to recognize Axel, and then he chuckled and unfolded his arms. It was hard to tell other than by the obvious slickness of Xemnas' black coat, but his arms and chest were coated in blood.

Axel couldn't fathom how the General had come to be bleeding out from his chest in the easiest room to escape from. The only person who might have been prowling around the house was Saix, and Axel could fathom even less why Xemnas' number two would shoot him. Unless Riku...

Xemnas continued to laugh as the house groaned loudly. Flames sprung up in the middle of the room where the floor should have been. A hole opened up near Xemnas and, with a final glare, the General fell through the flooring and into the fire below.

Axel slumped forward with a pained gasp. He didn't know what was driving him anymore, but he figured he was going to die so he just let any sense of rhyme or reason go. He half crawled, half dragged himself into the room. He wasn't nimble anymore and ironically his luck more than health allowed him to not fall through any of the holes. He made it to Roxas' bed and with a loud growl of pain, he managed to pull himself onto it.

It was becoming impossible to breathe now. His chest heaved with rapidness and fragility. His mind wasn't done raging at him though. He thought that this experience must have been similar to how Roxas had felt. He had held his friend and kept him alive long enough for one last conversation. He realized now that that was another act of cruelty that he really should pay for. Axel closed his eyes, they weren't working as well for him anymore anyways.

He imagined he heard someone calling his name and since he was dying he thought it would be the best way to go if he imagined it was Roxas calling him on. He swore Roxas was close now and he thought he felt a hand touch his shoulder as he fell into darkness.

* * *

><p>"Axel! Axel! Axel!"<p>

Axel opened his eyes and immediately shut them. He tried to spit out his amazement, but he ended up coughing up soot.

Wherever he was, it was bright and cold and white. It was such a change from the burning mess he had caged himself in and what was more was that there was someone kneeling over him. And he knew who it had to be.

Axel coughed once more before choking out, "Roxas..."

He hissed in pain as a cold hand, a solid hand, found his that covered his wound. His hands stung to be touched. They were badly burned.

"Axel...what were you thinking? What were you trying to do?"

"I...was trying t-to find a way...to make i-it right again," he croaked and tried to open his eyes again, but he could only see the blurry outline of Roxas' face. He was given a gentle squeeze of the hand for his efforts. He choked out the words he really felt he had to say. "Roxas...I'm sorry. It's the one thing...how are you...I don't understand..."

"Axel, it doesn't matter," Roxas said softly.

"You don't h-hate-?"

"No, I don't hate you. I was angry at first, but now..." Roxas sighed and put his forehead against Axel's. Axel's lips stung when they cracked into a smile.

"Axel, wait! Just let me say one more thing."

Tiredly Axel groaned and squeezed Roxas' hand as firmly as he could, but it was like trying to grasp sand in a fist. Everything was just slipping away.

"Axel, I forgive you."


	15. Epilogue

**A Special Note:**This story is dedicated to my sister and my best friend. Both pushed me to write it and both took the time to read it first. Thank you Square Enix for the invention of Kingdom Hearts as well as Rise Against for the beautiful song that inspired me!

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><p><strong>Hero of War<strong>

"Sora...are you sure?"

Sora breathed out a wet and heavy sigh as he stared at the muddy ground. Spring was coming earlier than expected and so the earth's coat of snow grew thin and the dirt soft. A strong arm wound around his shoulders and a head rested upon Sora's.

"Riku, stop. I'm fine," Sora said and he pushed Riku off. He tempted a smile but it faltered just like his words. "I'm just..."

"No one is expecting you to be 'fine' Sora. What Axel did and what I did-"

"Riku," Sora turned to his boyfriend and shook his head. He had a true, gentle smile on his face as he reprimanded, "Stop it. You've gotta be more positive."

Sora looked into the river and saw his grin reflected in its pregnant waters. His expression became wistful with the realization that smiling probably wasn't the most appropriate appearance for this event.

"Roxas wasn't from either town and Axel didn't really seem like he wanted to be considered a Hallow Bastion citizen when he died. Plus, Axel asked you to bury Roxas here, didn't he Naminé?" Sora asked as he turned to the girl behind him.

Naminé nodded sadly and Kairi put a hand on her shoulder.

"But are you alright with it?" Riku asked seriously. He didn't frown or appear angry as he spoke, he just hadn't been feeling much except cold as of late. He walked up behind Sora and pressed, "Considering who asked for this and the fact that you're alive, Sora, it seems like a selfish request."

The group stood silently, listening to the water flow and the snow drip from branches.

"I don't think it was meant to be selfish," Naminé said quietly, "Axel was sincere when he asked and he did send you back to us, Riku."

"I don't think it was selfish either," Sora said, turning to Riku with honest eyes. "Axel always had a funny way of expressing himself and sometimes he did bad things when he meant to be doing good."

Riku turned his face away to hide the bitter and volatile feelings he still struggled with. Sora slipped his hand into Riku's and pressed his flank against his boyfriend's.

"But I believe that when it came to my brother Axel never meant to do wrong. I know that Axel loved Roxas. I-I could tell by how he talked when he died. And I know Roxas loved Axel," Sora looked up at Riku and slowly the hard glint to Riku's eyes softened. Sora spoke with confidence as he said, "That's why I'm okay with burying them both by the river. Together."

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><p>Back in Twilight Town, sitting on the steps of the makeshift hospital was a young man with his hood drawn over his face and his leg in a cast. In a couple days the cast would be removed and he'd be able to walk again, but the news didn't straighten his posture or take the sad and frustrated expression from his face.<p>

The nurses were confused by him. He was incredibly cheery for a war prisoner and he only ever seemed to get down about one subject. When the nurses asked him what was wrong he'd turn to them with a frown on his face, shake his head sadly and say, "I just can't find the right words, man..."

He sat on the steps now, watching people trying to start their lives again while others still cowered in the shadows. He didn't care that much about war. He'd seen it and it wasn't his most favourite thing about the world. With a little bit of sorrow and a whole bunch of fear he recalled his General. Now that guy had thrived off of battle. He shrugged, sometimes the world was just funny like that. Like Larxene and Marluxia. Who knew Larxene actually had a heart? And Zexion. Who knew that a little nerd like him could be so sneaky? And then there was Axel. Thinking back on that guy made him laugh. Axel had said a lot of stupid stuff, but...he sighed and slumped even more over his sitar. _But he never said goodbye_.

He felt really bad for Axel, really, he did. He had heard that Axel's hands weren't so clean, but to him Axel was still his friend and still somewhat of a hero to him. And not because of how a good a soldier he was, but of how good a friend he was. To him and to Roxas.

He had watched Sora and Riku lead the troupe that carried Roxas and Axel's bodies out of the hospital to be buried. Sora had asked if he wanted to go with them, but he declined. He still hadn't found the right words.

When he spotted Sora and Riku leaning against each other in a tired sort of way as they came back to the hospital, he felt the emotions and thoughts of all that he had experienced in the last year or so, and finally the words started to come. He picked up his sitar and started to play.

Sora and Riku stopped at the steps and looked down on him, confusion becoming a heavy feeling of understanding in their hearts.

He looked up at Sora and Riku and as he strummed on his sitar he asked in a sad voice, "Have you seen the world? Well, what would you say if I said that you could...?"

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>This is the end and I would like to know what you thought about it or the story in general. You can harp on me for improper grammar or comma usage, praise the parts you liked, say what you thought it lacked, tell me what you wished had happened. I'm not picky about what is left in the reviews and I really don't mind criticism, and welcome constructive criticism.. Trust me, my editor helped me see where my weakness are and would tell me when to rewrite or reword parts.

Alright. So, I'm sure you have a couple questions as to some of the things that happened in the two chapter's before this, probably about Organization members just disappearing. I haven't forgotten to explain what happened to some of the characters, the explanation is just in another story. It's not exactly a sequel but a part that runs along and intersects _Hero_. The first chapter of that is also up.


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